Back again.. help me out

[TheShortBus]

ive been on and off with my anxiety for just over a year now. ive been on paxil, xanex, and am now taking lexapro for 6 weeks. it was all going good until i started not being able to get to sleep unill 5 and 6 in the morning. this has been goin on for about 2 weeks now.

also i seem to feel kind of confused all during the day, i just dont feel right. i dont know if its just teh lexapro or what. in thinking that i deciced to stop taking it and the third day of not taking it i think i started to have some really bad withdrawls. so im now back on it.


lately the main thing thats been bothering me is constantly thinking i have somthing... i suffered with this a bit before when i first started to have panic attacks.

for example i was watching a true life episode on mtv that was about living with hiv... as soon as i stated watching it i thought i had it for about a week.. that finally got out of my head though. but for the last week or so ive been dwelling that i have a brain tumor or something.. but i havent been getting any head achs or anything like that but it just wont get out of my head. so much that its like ive convinced myself that i actually do have one.. i keep squinting my eyes and rolling them in the back ofmy head really hard thinking there is somthing there.. ive done it so much now that i do get little pressure headaches. not bad ones but like a constant slight pressure in my temples.


anyway these thoughts completely override my body and are there 100% of the time. its getting really hard to deal with it and it makes me really sensitive to every little nerve in my boddy to were i think somthings wrong. like right now the fan is blowing on my legs and its making my skin crawl...



just wondering if anyone else has been threw some of the same stuff im dealing with and how you got through it.


Thanks!

[Healthcalm]

Hey Jason,

I feel like I know where you are coming from. Particularly the HIV thing. I am constantly afraid that I have contracted HIV. Any little thing that happens to my body scares the hell out of me.

Perhaps this is too much info, but for the last 2 weeks I thought I had an STD, despite the fact that my symptoms weren't like that of any STD I researched. I finally went in to get checked and it was a sebaceous cyst (a clogged hair follicle!) 2 weeks of my life are gone and I can't get them back.

The things that help me out are exercise (release endorphins and make you feel good about yourself), deep breathing, and having a support network. My family is very supportive, sometimes I call an anxiety hotline and I will be starting to see a therapist soon. Just knowing that you are not alone in all this is comforting, I think.

[TheShortBus]

thanks so much for your reply! its comforting knowing im not the only one in this type of situation. my girl friend and family are all very understanding and helpful, but they still will never know how we really feel so its still really hard

[Healthcalm]

You definitely aren't alone. It can be really hard on family and friends to watch someone they love go through this. I know my family gets frustrated sometimes when my anxiety is really bad. And they don't really know how to help. But it is so good that you have support, a lot of people aren't so lucky. Breathe deep, good luck on your journey to wellness!!!

[TheShortBus]

thanks again!

actually woke up with the worst panic attack ive had in over a year this morning... :/


i didnt get to sleep till about 8 and had only been asleep for an hour or two then i woke up and felt really weird. tried to go back to sleep but i got up and just kept feeling weirder. then it hit me... started sweating and tingling all over and not being able to sit still.. i started pacing back and forth.. it has gone away in the last few min though..

but now i feel wide awake and stick to my stomach

[TheShortBus]

wow today has been horrible....

i finally got to sleep for about 30 min n i woke up freaking out and started another panic attack all over again :(..

i took my lexapro since i hadnt taken it yet. i had sooo manny weird thoughts running all through my head. i couldnt keep my legs still and then couldnt stop pacing again.. so i went and jumped in the shower. i started to feel a little better and then it just kept coming back. now this part may sound really stupid but i got so overwhelmed that i ended up gagging myself and throwing up in the shower... i know that sounds really odd, but the reason i did it was because the first panic attack i ever had i got so over whelmed that i started dry heaving and couldnt stop. so i gagged myself until something actually came out and for some reason in that split moment i felt a little better.

well after spilling up all my lunch... ive just been sittin here on the couch still feeling extremely anxious. i have this constant thought that somthing is horribly wrong with me and im goin to die... my sinuses have kinda been acting up so one my my nostrils is kinda stuffed up.. well my nerves notice every little thing like that and it makes it seem like theres an unbalance in my head... its like the side of my noes that i can breath clearly though it numb of somthing just because i dont feel the stuffiness in it like that the other... and my head just above my eyes around my eye brows has this weird feeling and thats constantly there... probaly just my sinuses too...

and i know i need sleep but i feel wide awake.. and i feel like if i do fall asleep im goin to wake up felling like this again... so its almost like my mind is keeping me from sleeping.

wow sry for rambling, i tend to do that on here

[dtrotter]

Rant ahead, everyone needs to rant. No one is perfect thus everyone has problems with everyone. It's okay to rant.

However, just be strong and know that you are not alone suffering this kind of horrible panic attack.Just keep believing that one day you will be fully cured and overcome all the problems you have.

[TheShortBus]

thanks so much for the support. it really is nice to know that this really isnt all that rare of a thing for alot of people.

my main thing now is i keep waking up feeling like there is somthing wrong with me.. i dont know why but its just there as soon as i open my eyes. i dont even have to think of anything negative so thats what really bothers me.


i went to the docter the other day and hes kinda turning into a real dick.. i used to be able to go to him a day or so after a really bad attack and just talk. even know he doesnt specialize in this kinda stuff it still seems to help me some talking to someone that know knows more about the human body n stuff like that than i do.


be recently i went back for the first time in over 6 months (for anxiety stuff anyway) and he kept enterupting everything i had to say. like i was telling i stopped taking lexapro because it was giving me insomnia and this i was feeling like ive was having some bad withdrawls n stuff. and i soon as i mentioned that i "read" that its a normal thing to have with drawls if you stop it cold turky he got on to me and said well you can believe everything you read.... just got annoying cuz it was like he was telling me i wasnt feeling and going through the things that i actually was...

so anyway i got him to give me a number for a good a pych for me to see and get on somthing differnt. i called her and or course they are always booked for months and im on a waiting/cancelation list...

[Constantinos]

Hi,

I am 35 years old and i have been suffering from panic attacks, anxiety, for the last 10 years, though if i can recall correctly i had panic attacks since the age of 10 - 11 without knowing what i was going through. In any case, the last 3,5 years i do psychotherapy and it helped me a lot. I can not say that i am 100% confident for myself but saw a lot of improvement. In addition to that i read an article lateley that helped me lot and i am quoting this below. Believe me it is going to help you.

Panic Attacks are completely harmless. Although they look really bad, they feel like your mind is out of control, you are feeling like running and hiding from yourself, and you are afraid that you are going to die, still, completely harmless. The secret and method to overcome your problem is that "Without fear of them they cannot exist". I will quote below a part of a text that helped me a lot. Please read it and it will help you.

"In quick overview, to end a panic attack - an overwhelming feeling of fear - you have to pass through the wall of apprehension to the other side of your fear (no, this isn't some weird faith healing or new age crap). This works! I wish I could take you there by the hand myself but YOU have to do it. The trust in it working is something that goes against all aspects of our sense of survival and takes some time to really believe in. Yet IF you are experiencing a fear/panic attack I found the only way to beat it is to try to let the feeling be as worse as it wants to be. Let it be as bad as you can make it. And, because it truly IS a self-created fear, once you have made the desire to travel to the "OTHER side" of fear by letting it do its positively worse to you then ...there is NOTHING...nothing there. No fear. The other side is NO fear at all but a big smile. The moment of realization is a wonderful experience. For me, it was THEN that I realized that these "out of control" feelings were finished!

Stress is the major instigator for panic feelings. Perhaps you had realized a certain level of stress that had exceeded your ability to release it. I say, "had" because probably the event that triggered these panic attacks is over with. There are many relaxation methods for lowering stress and all of them are beneficial. Understanding your stress and learning to manage it will always help you throughout your life. However, the panic attacks were probably the culmination of that initial stress event. I don't care WHAT or HOW you arrived at these feelings - you have them and you don't like them and you want to get rid of them! Right now it's not important that your mother was mean or your father ignored you or if you are a perfectionist, or obsessive, etc. I am not trivializing your situation. Panic attacks feed off of themselves. They are a common disorder that can trouble even the most intelligent or the strongest person. They are an entire entity all in themselves. These feelings seem so powerful and they scare you. But your mind is NOT going bananas, being lost or slipping away into insanity despite your fear or your past. You are only doing what seems natural...fighting them in trying to get control over them. But you are trying to STOP FEAR! Fear is not under your conscious control. It is controlled instinctively in reaction to WHAT YOU BELIEVE! And right now you believe that you are THREATENED! Instead, you are going to accept it and let it become you and, thereby, stop the overreaction. Read on!

Probably you have suspected a myriad of potential illnesses and feared some significant health problem that your physician has not found or explained away as "nerves" or some other reference to your nervous system. If not, please visit your doctor and remove these questions! He/she may even prescribe anti-anxiety drugs that may help you to deal with your panic feelings if you need immediate results. Some medical professionals like to describe panic as a chemical imbalance that might respond favorably to medication. I tried several of them. I preferred to not use them because I didn't like the side-affects and stipulations for use. But for some sufferers medication is very helpful. However, in the absence of a real medical problem, you are, at present, afraid of the panic attacks themselves or simply put, AFRAID OF BEING AFRAID!

I have to be blunt! There is no THING causing this (unless there is a specifically identified illness, situation or event like a wild animal attacking you). It's not a place or situation or thought...not that couch or that car or that room or that strange feeling in your eyes, stomach, head, arms, or that crowded place! Not a brain tumor, not cancer of anything, no breakdown of any nerves! Only you! To think otherwise..to think that a certain room or situation CAUSES you to have the attacks...is false. Sure, I understand that when you are in a place or situation where you have felt these attacks before that you are aware of being there and fear THAT place or situation. BUT IT'S YOUR NERVOUS SYSTEM being on a high state of alert. You must understand that it's coming from you! You also are exaggerating those strange feelings that you are having in your body into MAJOR significance. You are boxing in your life more and more by HIDING from these! It's NOT these places or situations or feelings, and I know that's hard to accept. But this is where you change your attitude from HIDING to "giving up"! From superstition to a rational approach!

Once you apply the attitude, "I will let this feeling of fear be as worse as it wants to be, I don't care anymore", and let it happen, let yourself go towards it and begin to believe it (the prime objective), then the truth starts to comes out. You become a little less afraid. IT TAKES PRACTICE. (Research in treatment of obsessive-compulsive disorder has demonstrated that persistent practice of skills such as these can result in measurable changes in brain function without medication.) As you begin to "pooh-pooh" these fear feelings and establish the attitude of non-caring more and more you get closer to the rationale about them. Eventually you will be ready for the time when you truly try to make it worse while having a panic attack - and THAT is a key moment!

[col73]

Hi there

Im 35 also, and ive had panic attacks for almost 12 yrs, what i found out that helped me is talking to others about it ( on here ) i gave out my msn and quite afew ppl added me, where we chatted about experiences etc etc and how to cope, Ive been on a number of tablets and the one that worked for me is venlafaxine, ive also done alot of research on how to cope, does and donts etc, i wish i did all this sooner because the first 10yrs i didnt do a thing, now over the last 2yrs almost im so much better in myself, yes i do get the occasional attack but no where near as bad.

Just remember my friend, you aint alone in this!!
Col.

[Robbed]

be recently i went back for the first time in over 6 months (for anxiety stuff anyway) and he kept enterupting everything i had to say. like i was telling i stopped taking lexapro because it was giving me insomnia and this i was feeling like ive was having some bad withdrawls n stuff. and i soon as i mentioned that i "read" that its a normal thing to have with drawls if you stop it cold turky he got on to me and said well you can believe everything you read.... just got annoying cuz it was like he was telling me i wasnt feeling and going through the things that i actually was...

It sounds to me like you broke one of the most sacred rules held by most doctors and mental health professionals: Thous shalt not criticize SSRIs/SNRIs or otherwise make them sound bad, especially when it comes to addicition to them. Simply put, most doctors and mental health professionals consider these drugs to be sacred, and capable of doing no wrong. Most of the time, they won't listen to you if you complain about side effects or, especially withdrawals. In fact, there seems to be quite a code of silence when it comes to the addictive nature of antidepressants (the pharmaceutical industry would have ALOT to lose if antidepressants became labelled 'addictive'). Other times, they will blame all side effects and withdrawal on a worsening of your condition, and increase your dosage. This, of course, just makes things worse for you.

I have seen this nightmare scenario play itself out with a handful of people. And I have had doctors and therapists try to push the poison on me as well. When I voiced concerns, they basically tried to make them seem irrational, and dismiss them as just another sign that I have a problem that needs to be medicated. It is for these reasons that I REALLY don't like antidepressants. Also, I just can't honestly say that I have seen someone get totally 100% better on these drugs. And you seem to be no exception. So far, you have tried two SSRIs. And you are 0 for 0. I personally think it is time to get off the SSRI merry-go-round, and try something different.

[TheShortBus]

hey guys thanks so much for your replies!! its so nice to know im not alone with all this stuff.

[TheShortBus]

be recently i went back for the first time in over 6 months (for anxiety stuff anyway) and he kept enterupting everything i had to say. like i was telling i stopped taking lexapro because it was giving me insomnia and this i was feeling like ive was having some bad withdrawls n stuff. and i soon as i mentioned that i "read" that its a normal thing to have with drawls if you stop it cold turky he got on to me and said well you can believe everything you read.... just got annoying cuz it was like he was telling me i wasnt feeling and going through the things that i actually was...

It sounds to me like you broke one of the most sacred rules held by most doctors and mental health professionals: Thous shalt not criticize SSRIs/SNRIs or otherwise make them sound bad, especially when it comes to addicition to them. Simply put, most doctors and mental health professionals consider these drugs to be sacred, and capable of doing no

wrong. Most of the time, they won't listen to you if you complain about side effects or, especially withdrawals. In fact, there seems to be quite a code of silence when it comes to the addictive nature of antidepressants (the pharmaceutical industry would have ALOT to lose if antidepressants became labelled 'addictive'). Other times, they will blame all side effects and withdrawal on a worsening of your condition, and increase your dosage. This, of course, just makes things worse for you.

I have seen this nightmare scenario play itself out with a handful of people. And I have had doctors and therapists try to push the poison on me as well. When I voiced concerns, they basically tried to make them seem irrational, and dismiss them as just another sign that I have a problem that needs to be medicated. It is for these reasons that I REALLY don't like antidepressants. Also, I just can't honestly say that I have seen someone get totally 100% better on these drugs. And you seem to be no exception. So far, you have tried two SSRIs. And you are 0 for 0. I personally think it is time to get off the SSRI merry-go-round, and try something different.


yeah i have thought about that too... i never have understood why things that can be soo addictive and can have so many bad side effects are still used like they dont really hurt you. i mean sure there are tons of us who they have helped and turned lifes around but still.. i dunoo.

dumb analogy but think about smoking.. and how much its can be looked down on because of its addictiveness and longterm side effects such as cancer. and think about how many people try to get the hole idea band. well just thinking of the truth commercials n stuff. well not every smoker gets cancer and stuff and some still live to an old age completely healthy.

anyway like i said dumb comparison, but i was tryin to extend your point you brought up. it just got me thinking. just think if everyone looked horribly down on these meds that can help some people, but at the same time can have horrible side effects on others. i duno..

wow i really need to stop rambling haha, i tend to have trouble typing what i really want to say and have it make since you you read it :p.


annnyywayyyyyyyyyyyy........

i actually went to a phyc today. was feeling really nervous and almost kinda got sick. doesn't help that i took my lexapro on an empty stomach either..

well long story short he just pretty much quized me on all the paper work that i had filled out n stuff. and he noticed that i put that i thought i could be bipolar and he mainly concentrated on that. he came to the conclusion that im not at all. and its just my anxiety getting to my head and making me feel weird at times. and the fact that he also said ive got ADHD... ha could have told you that 10 years agooo...

neway he told me to continue the 10mg lexapro for now and we will work on tapering off of it. he also said he would like to try me on xanex again.. as soon as he said that i was like wow wow woo.. not doin that shit again and ive known to manny people to get really hoooked on it to it creeps me out. but after talking to him for a few more mins i felt a lot better about it. the main thing he told me was he was kinda glad im scared of getting horribly hooked on it.. sounds dumb but i understand what he meant by it.

and i feel more comfortable about the fact that its the lowwwest dosage possible and its the really slow releasing one. he said there will be a very small dosage almost constantly running through my sytem. alot differnt than when you take a like a .5mg fast acting (like i used to be on) and it help you in less than like 45 min and then 6 hours later you feel down again and it tended to knock me out after.

so yeah sry im so long winded :P. i guess ill just have to see how it helps. im going back to see him in 5 days as well so that seems to take load off my sholders knowing there will be someone i can talk too soon that i know understands