phone problems and fear of being alone

[jowelletje]

Hey everybody,

I'm new on this forum. I'm dealing with depression and anxiety problems and am in therapy for it but want to know what works for people that have the same problem. I get scared when I'm alone.. I start thinking about stuff to much and I always end op calling and annoying my boyfriend. How do I get myself to stay away from the phone and not to freak out when I'm alone all the time? I would really like to give my boyfriend some space but I seem incapable of doing that. Then after I made a call again I feel even worse and guilty. Usually when I'm around people I know I'm ok because I'm distracted but when I'm alone, especially in the house the fear strikes. Does anybody recognise this and what do you guys do about it? Any practical tips are welcome.

[Charlene]

Hi jowelletje,

It sounds like you're having a very tough time right now but please know that so many people fear being alone, especially people with anxiety. It's very common. However, obviously, you don't want to chase away your boyfriend by coming off as being too insecure and dependent. At some point, you will need to resist making those calls when you're alone. The only way to overcome your fear of being solitary is to sit with yourself and see that there really isn't anything to be afraid of. One day, make that choice and be alone. Just try it. It will hurt, yes. But you can do it. Nothing bad will happen to you. And be proud of yourself for doing it. And then try it again. You need to practice being alone, going through the unbearable feelings, but reassuring yourself with kind words, that you can do it, and that there is nothing to fear. In time, if you practice being alone continuously, while at the same time, reassuring yourself that you are okay, you will soon realize that you are living this truth.

[Barcadia101]

Facing your fears is the best way to fight them. Just sit on your own for some time and talk to yourself. Try to remind yourself some nice things that you have done for yourself and others on your own.

[rhirhi18]

Hi :D I was thinking the exact same as you today that to try and get through this living hell of anxiety and depression I cannot sit on my own without texting calling or getting my boyfriend to come over I don't want to push him away but I only feel like I can cope when I'm talking to him this sounds so clingy but I was never lilke this before anxiety and cus I feel like I'm gna die etc I feel like I need to spend as much time with him as possible

Rhi

[jj1983]

Does suckj,esp.when you have a small child here and sometimes may feel dizzy or like you may faint from your anxiety being so bad...it is hard to deal with sometimes