any one out there like me?

[fear_cloud]

im sure you are all thinking that the subject line is a little lame, but with all the things ive read, and nurses ive seen, they've never given me a definiate answer as to whats wrong with me. obsessive complusive thoughts, was the closest thing to a diagnosis that ive gotten, but i can't find anything about that.

so heres my deal.
it all revolves around my mother.
i'm 19 years old and when i sleep over anywhere, i'm always terrified about calling her, and her not answering the phone,
she can't go anywhere without me.
and i hate going places, so mostly i force her to stay home.
she has RA, so i worry about that
then for a while, if she had her cell phone and she was with my dad then i was okay, but as soon as she didn't answer once, i would panic.
then i started calling almost every 30 minutes or i would want to talk to her until she got from point a to point b.
i'm so so scared that she will disappear and i won't be able to find her.
this all started when i was in grade 6, at least thats when i remember it getting out of hand.
also, i'm starting to do the same things with my boyfriend.
i get angry when he doesnt answer the phone//i worry about him when he's not at home
he doesnt have a cell phone so it makes it so much harder for me.

and some other random things, are i constantly think about something bad happening, i must prepare myself for something bad. i have to plan out every part of my life, and i am incapable of starting anything in fear of failing what i try.

anxiety orders seem to be the thing to have nowadays, most of my friends like to boast about having some sort of panic attack, and i just wanted to shake them and be like YOU ARE FINE!
and then my one friend of ten years, who i thought completely understood why i was the way i was told me,
"i thought all friendships were like this, but they arent"
and she ended up fucking me over and now i dont speak to her.

sometimes i feel like im just some controlling little baby, who can't be away from her mommy.
but as much as i wish that i could be alone for 2 fuking minutes, i can't without worrying about worrying, if that makes sense.

anyways, i decided to join this forum to see if anyone knows at all what im talking about.

[ThePhoenix]

I know what your talking about, I have never been too bad with it but at times I have been undly worried sick about people I know.

If someone doesnt answer the phone when I am certain they are home or they arent where they are ment to be my mind races with whats gone wrong.

What I do if I am ever feeling like that, if you can do it, is try to forget about her and what she is upto and not worry about her for a period of time and prove to yourself that she will be fine.

I dont live at home anymore but when I ring up and she doesnt answer I put the phone down and try not to think about what could be wrong and try again the next day, or later that nite and prove that nothing bad happened if I wasnt around to control it. Keep doing it over time and see how you go!

[jbii]

anyways, i decided to join this forum to see if anyone knows at all what im talking about.

You are not alone. I've had fears of my mom dying, or something bad happening to her when see is alone.

[NigelWalmsley]

You know I sometimes wonder if having all of the technology we do today can make a problem like this worse. My point is that because we can usually always "get a hold" of anyone at any time, we expect it as the norm. Everyone has the ability to be in constant contact with everybody else. We can even see each other and talk over the internet. If a person suddenly can't be reached you start to ask questions like: "Why does this person not make themselves available to me?" Your mother sounds like she is doing a good job with making sure she is there for you while at the same time, not making you feel bad or weird about always wanted to check up on her. It might help to think of the situation this way: You probably worry about your mother more than she worries about herself. Here is another one, and excuse me for being maybe, a bit too philosophical but the bond between you and your mother is one that probably exists in a realm beyond what is in the here and now. It probably transcends today and reaches into eternity in some way. Hopefully that thought gives you some peace.

[dtrotter]

you are definitely not alone. I was worrying sick about my mom would die of anything. Especially, nowadays the world is heavily polluted and the food are processed with different kind of chemical. There's nothing we can really do sometime, we have to believe that things will going to be alright.