I can't take my anxiety anymore.

[kt20]

Hi I am new to this forum, My name is Kate and I am 20 years old. I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression when I was 14, I have been on medication since. I have been taking lexapro for a while now and I found that it helped a lot, since I started taking endep(also an anti depressant) for pain that I am having. noticed that I was getting anxious more and more,I couldn't take it anymore so I took myself off the endep,I was then later to find out that endep,lexapro and another medication I was taking for other problems,had interfered and resulted to me having Serotonin Toxicity. I ended up in hospital and there wasn't much they could do because I wasn't showing symptoms to the point that it was dangerous.So all they have said is to drink lots of water to flush it out of my system and they said I am lucky I took myself off endep, because otherwise I may have had a seizure.

I have been having constant panic attacks, I am anxious 24/7,not eating because I have no appetite and I don't see how the serotonin can be flushed out of my body if they are still telling me to take lexapro. I have never been this bad in my life, this anxious,constantly.And when the panic attack gets bad, I shake.I am so lost,I can't handle it anymore, I would rather be dead than have to deal with it.All my psychiatrist said really is to take serepax when needed,I took 2 yesterday,in different amounts of time and it still took me a while to get to sleep.I finally did and then woke up with another panic attack.This has been constant,for more than a week now.The serepax doesn't even seem strong enough anymore.I don't even like taking it, I don't want to have to result to that,but it gets that bad that I do.

My mum is waiting on a call back from my psychiatrist because she is also lost in what to do.I'm scared they'll put me in a psych ward,nothing only that but worried my boyfriend will leave me.. He is supportive but having your girlfriend in a psych ward wouldn't be easy.
I am so lost and I want to give up,I can't handle living like this.It seems as if the lexapro is making me worse.Or the serotonin toxicity still hasn't left my body.

Please help me.

[Knawx]

Kate :D

I have had anxiety for around 7 years, and yes it sucks. No way around it. Just know that you are not alone.

Also things will get better sooner or later. I to have had some pretty bad times. In fact 2 weeks ago was the worst my anxiety had ever been. I got a new job and moved, it was just too much change.

I just remind myself everyday that having panic attacks, and feeling anxiety is okay. I tell my brain that it's fine if it wants to feel that way. Somehow that makes me not so fearful of the attacks.

Is there anything in particular that makes you feel anxious? Or is it just that overwhelming feeling of waiting for the next attack to happen? -

Believe me, life is worth living, even with anxiety and depression. Never forget that you are not alone in this. Their are so many people here willing to share how they feel, and with that knowledge it will help you. :)

[kt20]

Sometimes the anxiety just comes on out of nowhere, for no apparent reason.And I know this sounds silly but the main thing that gets me anxious is the thought of how we are here,the thought of the earth.It really freaks me out and makes me anxious.I know I am not alone and I do try self talk with myself but it just doesn't seem to work anymore.

[Knawx]

Sometimes the anxiety just comes on out of nowhere, for no apparent reason.And I know this sounds silly but the main thing that gets me anxious is the thought of how we are here,the thought of the earth.It really freaks me out and makes me anxious.I know I am not alone and I do try self talk with myself but it just doesn't seem to work anymore.

Kate, that is so interesting because my first anxiety attacks were brought on by the thought of eternity.

I am a religious person and do in fact believe in an afterlife so as I got older I started to try and wrap my brain around things like time, existance, and why we are here.

Here's something for you to think about Kate, anxiety often affects people who generally have a high IQ. Or in other words people who are smart or very creative. The fact that you even contemplate things of such magnitude tells me that your mind functions on a higher level than the average person.

The bad part about this is that anxiety is a direct result. If you look back in history at all the great minds such as Einstein and Newton you will see that they also suffered from anxiety. Even though they didn't know it back then.

Again, remind yourself that others have the same thoughts as you. It will help knowing this. :D

[Charlene]

Hi Kate,

Knawx is right. He's written a good many messages filled with a lot of kind words and helpful advice. Life is worth living! :) Don't give up on the idea that you will get better. You will! Through all the darkness Kate, there is a glimmer of light. Try to cling to that. You won't be stuck at this level of anxiety forever. It will lessen in time, I assure you. I get the feeling that you've been a little hard on yourself for having this disorder. Try not to feel like you're deficient in some way just because you have this. All of us here have it too! Just as Knawx said, we are extremely sensitive, creative geniuses (with very active imaginations - - we could all become famous Sci-Fi writers)! Just because those around you don't have this particular disorder, that doesn't make you a lesser person. You are brilliant Kate. Stick wtih the forum, peruse around. Have a read at what others here have done to help them overcome the rough patches. You'll find something that appeals to you and if you try to implement it yourself, I'm sure you'll find that you'll get good results.

[ThePhoenix]

Hi Kate,

I am sure your not alone in feeling like you cant cope with the anxiety, most of us have probably been in the same place at some point especially when you cant see an end to it.

It wont always be that bad and good times will come back again!

I cant help much in terms of the medication because I havent gone down that road but trust your docs and people around you, they know what they are doing! :)

Hang in there.

[dtrotter]

Hi Kate,

Don't give up on yourself. You mend to be a happy teenager. You can go through it. You have been fighting it for atleast more than 5 years. why give up now? Things will be better, throw away the medications, and start to discover what is the root of the anxiety, and get it fixed. Be it that, you always felt that you have no friends? abusive parents? anything...

[njc38]

That is exactly how my anxiety started, through thorts of the eternity when i was around 11..but anxiety wasnt majorly apparent to me until about 16 when i took my gcses and the pressure got too much...which caused major anxiety. I have just this year started to get help because i finally admitted that this is what i had! I get anxiety attacks out of nowhere and it gets me really down too. I have recently become interested in surfing and this keeps me focused now, getting through the attacks and days at work of feeling anxious 24/7 just to know that on the weekend, i can drive for 3 hours, think long and hard about stuff and surf...it chills me out. Silly that it is extreme sport yet its wat reduces my anxiety. I think it is ebcause it makes me feel alive.......

Keep your head up and explore self-help techniques such as writing diarys to identify your triggers of your attacks. Also look into Cognitive behavioural therapy as this is supposed to be effective..I am starting this next week, so will let you know how i get on with it.

Most important, remember that you aren't alone and dont have to be alone, even if people at home dont always support you, you know that us lot will as we are all in the same boat.

Good luck, here if you need to chat x

[Constantinos]

Hi Kate,

I am 35 years old and i have been suffering from panic attacks, anxiety, for the last 10 years, though if i can recall correctly i had panic attacks since the age of 10 - 11 without knowing what i was going through. In any case, the last 3,5 years i do psychotherapy and it helped me a lot. I can not say that i am 100% confident for myself but saw a lot of improvement. In addition to that i read an article lateley that helped me lot and i am quoting this below. Believe me it is going to help you.

Panic Attacks are completely harmless. Although they look really bad, they feel like your mind is out of control, you are feeling like running and hiding from yourself, and you are afraid that you are going to die, still, completely harmless. The secret and method to overcome your problem is that "Without fear of them they cannot exist". I will quote below a part of a text that helped me a lot. Please read it and it will help you.

"In quick overview, to end a panic attack - an overwhelming feeling of fear - you have to pass through the wall of apprehension to the other side of your fear (no, this isn't some weird faith healing or new age crap). This works! I wish I could take you there by the hand myself but YOU have to do it. The trust in it working is something that goes against all aspects of our sense of survival and takes some time to really believe in. Yet IF you are experiencing a fear/panic attack I found the only way to beat it is to try to let the feeling be as worse as it wants to be. Let it be as bad as you can make it. And, because it truly IS a self-created fear, once you have made the desire to travel to the "OTHER side" of fear by letting it do its positively worse to you then ...there is NOTHING...nothing there. No fear. The other side is NO fear at all but a big smile. The moment of realization is a wonderful experience. For me, it was THEN that I realized that these "out of control" feelings were finished!

Stress is the major instigator for panic feelings. Perhaps you had realized a certain level of stress that had exceeded your ability to release it. I say, "had" because probably the event that triggered these panic attacks is over with. There are many relaxation methods for lowering stress and all of them are beneficial. Understanding your stress and learning to manage it will always help you throughout your life. However, the panic attacks were probably the culmination of that initial stress event. I don't care WHAT or HOW you arrived at these feelings - you have them and you don't like them and you want to get rid of them! Right now it's not important that your mother was mean or your father ignored you or if you are a perfectionist, or obsessive, etc. I am not trivializing your situation. Panic attacks feed off of themselves. They are a common disorder that can trouble even the most intelligent or the strongest person. They are an entire entity all in themselves. These feelings seem so powerful and they scare you. But your mind is NOT going bananas, being lost or slipping away into insanity despite your fear or your past. You are only doing what seems natural...fighting them in trying to get control over them. But you are trying to STOP FEAR! Fear is not under your conscious control. It is controlled instinctively in reaction to WHAT YOU BELIEVE! And right now you believe that you are THREATENED! Instead, you are going to accept it and let it become you and, thereby, stop the overreaction. Read on!

Probably you have suspected a myriad of potential illnesses and feared some significant health problem that your physician has not found or explained away as "nerves" or some other reference to your nervous system. If not, please visit your doctor and remove these questions! He/she may even prescribe anti-anxiety drugs that may help you to deal with your panic feelings if you need immediate results. Some medical professionals like to describe panic as a chemical imbalance that might respond favorably to medication. I tried several of them. I preferred to not use them because I didn't like the side-affects and stipulations for use. But for some sufferers medication is very helpful. However, in the absence of a real medical problem, you are, at present, afraid of the panic attacks themselves or simply put, AFRAID OF BEING AFRAID!

I have to be blunt! There is no THING causing this (unless there is a specifically identified illness, situation or event like a wild animal attacking you). It's not a place or situation or thought...not that couch or that car or that room or that strange feeling in your eyes, stomach, head, arms, or that crowded place! Not a brain tumor, not cancer of anything, no breakdown of any nerves! Only you! To think otherwise..to think that a certain room or situation CAUSES you to have the attacks...is false. Sure, I understand that when you are in a place or situation where you have felt these attacks before that you are aware of being there and fear THAT place or situation. BUT IT'S YOUR NERVOUS SYSTEM being on a high state of alert. You must understand that it's coming from you! You also are exaggerating those strange feelings that you are having in your body into MAJOR significance. You are boxing in your life more and more by HIDING from these! It's NOT these places or situations or feelings, and I know that's hard to accept. But this is where you change your attitude from HIDING to "giving up"! From superstition to a rational approach!

Once you apply the attitude, "I will let this feeling of fear be as worse as it wants to be, I don't care anymore", and let it happen, let yourself go towards it and begin to believe it (the prime objective), then the truth starts to comes out. You become a little less afraid. IT TAKES PRACTICE. (Research in treatment of obsessive-compulsive disorder has demonstrated that persistent practice of skills such as these can result in measurable changes in brain function without medication.) As you begin to "pooh-pooh" these fear feelings and establish the attitude of non-caring more and more you get closer to the rationale about them. Eventually you will be ready for the time when you truly try to make it worse while having a panic attack - and THAT is a key moment!

Good luck