what the hell is going on???

[Snufkin]

This is going to be a long post, and I really hope and appreciate it if some of you will be able to take the time from your day and give it a read. I'm sure, alot of this will seem familiar. but alot of this is also new to me. I would really value any input you might have.

About 7 years ago I had my first panic attack. At the time I wasn’t even aware panic attacks existed, and so I thought something was wrong with me mentally (ive gone crazy). Naturally every time I stepped outside I was feeling this overwhelming feeling of fear and I just wanted to sit at home… I started avoiding situations and developed a panic disorder. Ive went to numerous doctors they all did tests on me and everything came back normal and finally one of them said its probably just a panic attack… after online research I started coming to terms with what it was and accepting that nothing will happen. My symptoms started to dissipate until I reached an equilibrium. I still had an elevated heartrate and my blood pressure seemed to go up in certain situations. I still was hyperventilating in certain situations (I didn’t realize I was hyperventilating then till about couple of months ago!) and I would get tense. I would always be aware of my heartbeat… that was definitely the most consistent symptom. Fine, I learned to live with it and I was even able to enjoy life to a certain extent. 5 years went by, and several months ago something happened. Something I cant even explain… my heart as it was pounding like it usually does when im aware of it… just went silent. Not in the normal way it went silent in a freaky all of a sudden like it wasn’t even there way. I freaked out… my pulse was racing but I couldn’t feel it. The next morning I was feeling rather weird and didn’t realize why I was like this. After a week of not doing anything I could feel my heart again and all was fine… except the next time I tried to get the heart rate going up it happened again… and again and again… and now I feel like I cant breathe… and now my heart is skipping beats…not once like it used to. but several one after the other, the heart just feels so much weaker… and then my sleeping became very disrupted. At first I thought I had real health problems. So again to the doctors I went. And again the results came back absolutely fantastic. I thought to myself, this is just a variation of anxiety right? But I knew how to get myself under control, I already had this shit before why is it so hard to calm myself down now? So I went to the psychiatrist. And we began CBT. But symptoms don’t seem to go away. They all just get worse. Im starting to be afraid to go outside… I feel agitated all the time. Even as I'm writing this I feel very very agitated. I still cant sleep well… when I go outside I feel a sense of unreality… EVEN THOUGH IM MAKING SURE IM BREATHING RIGHT! And I still feel like I cant breath. Lastly, this week I had 3-4 panic attacks… this is the most frequent amount of panic attacks I ever had. Today I felt like I was completely going crazy. This feeling was aggravated because after the panic attack I didn’t feel any relief just worse and worse feeling of crazyness. The scariest part that makes me feel I'm completely losing it is that these recent panic attacks seem to come out of the blue. At least before there was some negative stressful thoughts that brought them on. Today I was just chilling at home when this feeling overwhelmed me.

Can anyone relate to ANY of this? Please help. did anyone experience something similar?
im feeling hopeless. i dont want to become suicidal!

[PamelaB]

Hey,

The same thing happened to me. I could at least control my panic attacks with techniques I had learned. But , then a whole new period (of episodes) sprang up. Frustrating! Scary!

My doctor told me to keep a journal of my day's activities including what I ate and highlight when and what I was doing when I became panicky. I did this for a couple of weeks and, lo and behold!, every attack came after eating. I suspect food allergies (msg and food colors especially). I had changed brands of bread and added some "fast" frozen meals. I experimented by taking these out of my diet and the panic attacks are fewer and further between.

Try looking at allergies? Or have you changed anything as far as vitamins lately? Some of those additives seem to be triggers...

Hope this helps.

Namaste,

Pamela
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Only the ones who believe ever see what they dream,
ever dream what comes true.

[mama2009]

Well if it makes you feel better that is how my attacks feel. Yesterday I had one that felt like my heart had just completely stopped beating and I couldn't breathe. I just started on celexa because I couldn't control my anxiety and now I am waiting to see if it works. When I first started having attacks 8 yrs ago they were different from the attacks that I am having today. So I do imagine they can take on many different forms. Hang in there. Your not alone.

[Snufkin]

thanks for you replies!

i have a question, ever since yesterdays attack i been feeling very very agitated and restless. like im pumped with caffeine or on some sort of drug withdrawal (i dont take any drugs of any kind and never drink coffee). i really feel out of balance. should i take valerian? or is there something else i could try?

[mama2009]

I am by no means a dr. So I couldn't begin to recommend any type of medication. I do know that when I talked to my dr. I told him that I feel wired. Wound tight and full of rage. I by no means was exaggerating because that is how I feel. I am always pumped like something is going to happen. But now since he has given me some medication all I can do is wait and see if it works. And if it doesn't I keep trying until something does work. I also need to work on myself and try to get rid of the things that do set me over the edge. In the last 2 wks since I have had my meltdown I have struck 2 people physically that were close to me in a aggitated fit of rage. So after I did that I knew that something is wrong and that I needed help. I suggest you talk to your dr. and let him/her know how you truly feel. Don't beat around the bush. Just let them know everything that way they know how to properly medicate and help you. Don't continue to put yourself through it. I let my anxiety and depression go too long until I had a meltdown. Don't do that to yourself.

[Maisy]

Hi,

Just wanted to say that my attacks also come out of nowhere and often while I'm relaxing at home, watching TV or something. It's horrible because it makes you feel like it must be a physical problem as there doesn't seem to be any other reason for it. Also used to be quite a patient, gentle spirited person and am now irritated, irritable, annoyed and angry frequently. Sorry, I know none of that's particularly useful, just wanted you to know you're not alone in it all!

[Snufkin]

hi, thanks for your reply, its very comforting knowing im not alone in this and theres alot of people willing to help and share.

[coops025]

I had this at the hight of my Anxiety i very rarely get panic attcks now just have de-realiasion which is really annoying.

Anyway you will most likey want to know how i stopped having attacks (well not often). You said you dont drink coffee which is good as this most definatly trigger more severe attacks, i even drank lots on purpose to prove the effects of caffine and Anxiety attacks and ended up bed bound for a while. Basicly CAFFINE is a big no no, be aware that caffine is all over the place and its best to stick to plain old water.

Suger is another thing i have been messing with. I had lots and lots of it in an attempt to see how this affected me and it was bad, not as bad as caffine but close. So NO suger at all.

Once i had found what was putting pressure on my heart even though like you all test came back as normal i wanted to give my heat a break. Manesium is in a word fantastic for all the bodies muscles including the heart, it helps it beat with more ease, a bit like putting oil into a car Engine. Magnesium most certainly helped.

Another thing i did was to take a very small amount of Aspin every morning with my breakfast, this thins the blood and allows it the flow with more ease.

Hope this helps you out :)