Can anyone relate/ help my problem?

[ryanthegunner]

Hi all.

My names Ryan, im 17 years old from England.

The last few days i believe ive been getting bad anxiety problems. I have a rather scary problem about imaging people sexually, when i look at children im scared ill become a peadofile, i watch programs about crime and scared ill become a murderer. I dont understand why. I come from a good family, ive been bought up well, never done a really bad thing in my life. Im just scared and wondered if anyone has had the same syptoms. I also just get scared when i think of some of these things which causes the panic attacks.

The problem has only been going on two days now and i cant live my life, ive had to book time off work because i cant face people. But i cant leave my mum without feeling scared. Ive felt sick now for 2 days also which is making me feel so bad.

I went to the doctors yesterday thinking i had depression, and didnt explain everything to him because i thought he would report me to the police for being a "freak". He gave me some tablet which are supposed to trap the nerves to to the heart of something so i dont panic. Im only supposed to take them when i really need them. But im struggling without them already.

Is this a normal Anxiety problem? Or am i something else and need mental help? How can i get over this so i can get back to work and be normal. Its depressing me and making me think my lifes not worthwhile. Like i said, i know the things im thinking are wrong, but im scared i might end up doing one of there, even though i know its wrong and im not like that.

Please dont think im a weirdo and try to help me.

Thank you, Ryan.

[vikstar]

Hello Ryan,

Hope you've been holding up okay? What you describe sounds like an anxiety disorder called Obsessive Compulsive Disorder or OCD. Obsessions are repetitive unwanted thoughts that make you feel anxious. For eg, fear of contamination or dirt, fear of harming yourself or others
intrusive sexual thoughts, fear of illness, religious or moral issues. Compulsions are repetitive behaviours and rituals, like cleaning or putting things in a particular order, washing, counting, hoarding, touching repeating actions over and over again. This makes you feel stressed or anxious, annoyed and frustrated, down or depressed, a sense of shame (and a wish to hide your OCD from others). You can still have OCD without having any complusions, just the thouhts - in which case it's a case of "Pure-O". Please don't beat yourself up over it. So many people experince OCD to various degrees, it's quite common actually. It usually happens to really nice people too! So ironic really. There's heaps of help out there and I recommend you go and see a Clinical Psych or Counsellor who will help you overcome the stress this condition is causing you. Don't be ashamed to tell the psych everything - I'm sure they've heard it a thousdand times before. In the meantime, I recommend you buy a book called "The Imp of the Mind: Exploring the Silent Epidemic of Obsessive Bad Thoghts" by Lee Baer, PhD. You can buy it online too, which is good. Hope this information finds you well and keep your chin up matey :-)

Vikstar