Need help classifying my illness

[Billiamair]

Hi I am a 19 year old college student from New Jersey. My entire life I have always been completely dependant on my parents or other people to take me from place to place. I am constantly lost even if I am two blocks from my house. This was normal until I reached about 10 years old and realized that other children would always know how to get back home from the grocery store, a friends house, wherever. Im almost 20 and still cant get back home from pretty much anywhere.

By the time I was 17 and getting my license my agoraphobia or whatever I have multiplied like 1000 times. The only place I could drive was to school which is two blocks away from my house, and it took a long time for me to memorize the route. My mom had to show me the way a countless number of times. I would be completely fine driving if I knew where I was going, so driving to school wasnt that bad.....but I would get stressed out that a friend might ask for a ride home and I would have to blow them off.

Once my friends started driving to each others houses instead of having their parents drop them off my social life turned to 0. I was forced to stay at home every day because I couldnt get to any of my friends houses on my own. I finished out high school a total outcast.....and I have no social anxiety at all.

Once I started college my parents showed me around the campus many times before I was comfortable enough to get to class, cafeteria, whatever. The only times I would go out would be if I was following a group of friends. No matter how close we were to campus, at an off-campus party or whatever I would NEVER know how to get back. I would pretend to be really drunk and use that as an excuse with my friends. Sometimes I would get a cab to pick me up and take me back to campus and I would find out it was 2 roads away.

It's my first summer back at home after starting college and since I have a social life at school I cant stand to sit around all summer in my house. I've already started to hang out with my old friends again, Ive been pretending my car is in the shop and having people pick me up and drop me off back home everywhere I go. When people are dropping me off at home, the only way I can direct them is to tell them to drive to our high school and then showing them the one route I know. I think in time I could learn my way around my whole town with MUCH MUCH effort......but when I think of driving to a yankee game or the city when I am a father it seems like an impossible task.

Sorry for the long post, I still have so much to say about my illness but hopefully some of you can tell me what I have or relate based upon my description.

[shoe]

Billiamar, not sure what that would be classified as. I'm sure a lot of people would get nervous if they were lost and had no idea how to get home. It seems like you are okay going places so long as you have a person driving you to and from there?

Do you have problems with memory Billiamair, or is the memory lapse specific to this type of situation?

From what I understand, memories are formed based on what we are 'paying attention' to. In other words, we could be watching a whole group of people move around, but when asked what the person in the middle was wearing, we may not recall it. If on the other hand, we were told beforehand to focus on that specific person in the crowd, we would remember that person but potentially miss out on what the other people are doing or wearing - even though our eyes capture it all. We can only consciously 'process' just so much. (note that those with photographic memory have an unfair advantage here - they can recall & playback those images in memory and pick out the details after the fact. how lucky! ;))

If you aren't specifically paying attention to things on your way from place to place - and picking up landmarks, road names, etc - you're going to need to repeat it. Anxiety, being the curious creature it is, can either help or hamper your ability to pay attention and remember things. If you're a little too anxious you might be panicking and thinking of worst-case scenarios whereas you should be focusing on things around you. That kind of thinking over time can develop into a type of 'automatic' function in the brain and you might not even realize you're thinking that way.

Also, memories are very fragile in the first few moments we experience something - if theres no transfer from our 'temporary storage' to our 'permanent storage' areas in the brain, the memory can be simply lost. Also, bonds between memories and concepts are fragile and need to be strengthened by 'repeated use' (or recollection) of those memories. Without referencing it again it will fade away quickly.

Also, associating one memory with another memory or concept makes more 'connections' to that memory and strengthens the links to that memory even further. It's kind of like imagining roots of a tree, only each individual root becomes a 'link' to another part of the brain (the tree itself being the memory in question). You start out with only a limited number of roots (say 1 or 2), but as you reference the memory and relate it to other ideas and concepts and memories, new 'roots' grow from that tree and plug into other areas of the brain. And each time those connections are used the roots grow thicker and stronger. Hmm.. lets see if I can draw in text..

O O
| /
O----O
| \___O
O

lol, well so much for that. and it looks like I'm way off topic! hehe, I just happen to like pondering the mysteries of the brain.

Anyway, I think keeping a notepad and writing down things might be in your best interest. Not only will you feel a little safer that you have it written down and can reference it, you will also be strengthening the connections to that memory just by writing it down. Even using some type of recording device would produce similar effects.

In addition - buy some maps of your area, or print some off the web. The traditional fallback! I always keep one around ;)

I'd still talk to a doctor about this problem though, especially if the memory thing isn't specific to the driving. A psychologist could also help if it is specific to driving and you find it too difficult to overcome it alone. :)

dan

[shoe]

I know that last post was long and probably a 'stating the obvious' type of thing, but I found an article that kinda relates to what I was talking about regarding attention that I thought I'd post a link to:

http://www.apa.org/monitor/nov01/sw.html

That talks about how people tend to focus more on 'threatening' stimuli and have trouble concentrating/focusing on other things, and are more likely to remember the feared thing than anything else. It suggests that some therapy may want to focus on training people to shift their focus away from those threatening stimuli.

dan

[klb]

Hi I am a 19 year old college student from New Jersey. My entire life I have always been completely dependant on my parents or other people to take me from place to place. I am constantly lost even if I am two blocks from my house. This was normal until I reached about 10 years old and realized that other children would always know how to get back home from the grocery store, a friends house, wherever. Im almost 20 and still cant get back home from pretty much anywhere.

By the time I was 17 and getting my license my agoraphobia or whatever I have multiplied like 1000 times. The only place I could drive was to school which is two blocks away from my house, and it took a long time for me to memorize the route. My mom had to show me the way a countless number of times. I would be completely fine driving if I knew where I was going, so driving to school wasnt that bad.....but I would get stressed out that a friend might ask for a ride home and I would have to blow them off.

Once my friends started driving to each others houses instead of having their parents drop them off my social life turned to 0. I was forced to stay at home every day because I couldnt get to any of my friends houses on my own. I finished out high school a total outcast.....and I have no social anxiety at all.

Once I started college my parents showed me around the campus many times before I was comfortable enough to get to class, cafeteria, whatever. The only times I would go out would be if I was following a group of friends. No matter how close we were to campus, at an off-campus party or whatever I would NEVER know how to get back. I would pretend to be really drunk and use that as an excuse with my friends. Sometimes I would get a cab to pick me up and take me back to campus and I would find out it was 2 roads away.

It's my first summer back at home after starting college and since I have a social life at school I cant stand to sit around all summer in my house. I've already started to hang out with my old friends again, Ive been pretending my car is in the shop and having people pick me up and drop me off back home everywhere I go. When people are dropping me off at home, the only way I can direct them is to tell them to drive to our high school and then showing them the one route I know. I think in time I could learn my way around my whole town with MUCH MUCH effort......but when I think of driving to a yankee game or the city when I am a father it seems like an impossible task.

Sorry for the long post, I still have so much to say about my illness but hopefully some of you can tell me what I have or relate based upon my description.

sounds like agoraphobia to me???

[babycristy]

It seems from your post that you are not afraid to socialize, you just get anxious of new situations since you have a hard time memorizing direction. Your memory or sense of direction might not be good. Like shoe stated, it could be you anxiety of the worse case scenario that distracts you from paying attention to details such as landmarks, roads, numbers, etc...

This might sound like the simple solution, but I admit to have no sense of direction when I started driving (I am 19 also). When my friends would go to clubs at the beach at night, I had to either follow or go in their car. I told them flat out, "I have no sense of direction, I can't even get to my own house if you guys strand me somewhere." They looked at me wierd then laughed but they knew I was serious due to prior incidents where I would get lost. If this helps any, go to www.mapquest.com (http://www.mapquest.com) and print out maps of the places you are going. This might sound a bit off, but it worked for me too. One day I figured, I need to learn direction (Where the express was, how to get to the mall, etc...) So I literally filled up my gas tank and drove around town. I was totally lost but I forced myself to find my way back. When I was so frustrated and did not know where to go, I just pulled over and breathed. I even got a panic attack once or twice. But that ride of exploration allowed me to take the initiative and make mistakes but at the same time correct them. And if you get lost, you can always call your parents to come and get you if worse comes to worse. Do not be afraid or your anxiety will only get worse about it. What I suggest however is to not get into neighborhoods (houses, complex, etc...) bc you will get very confused. Stick to the main streets that are familiar to everyone.

[brickyard_red]

Wow, what we need is for you to drive and me to be in the car with you and tell you where to go. :lol: I am so afraid of getting lost that I won't go anywhere unless I know exactly the route in my head that is going to be taken or I have a map. Preferably from AAA because I have gotten terribly confused for the internet maps. :? :x

I won't drive far from my house by myself, actually I won't drive far from my house period. If it is a long way, more than 5 or 10 mintues, I have someone, mainly my mom or husband, take me. I almost panic when I have to ride with someone other than them. My husband is who I feel the most safe with, my mom's driving habits make me nervous sometimes. :roll:

I am terrified of getting lost and not being able to find my way home for a long long time. And getting lost in a bad neighborhood where I could be car jacked or snatched and then I start thinking about never being able to see my family again. Just writing this out is making my stomach clench up. :? :(

I don't know why, but I even get afraid of this with hubby in the car drving. I know that everytime we have gone somewhere and even when we HAVE gotten lost, we always have found our way back to where we are supposed to be. But I panic to the point where he has to look at me and tell me to calm down and "shut up"! :roll: :oops: So, now when I'm panicing in the car with him when I 'think" we're lost, I keep it to myself as best I can, but most of the time he knows and pats my leg or my hand and tells me that we are going to be o.k. and that he knows right where he is. (Even though sometimes I don't think he does and he's just saying that to try and make me feel better.)

Also, he had a navigation system put in one of our cars, the one we take on vacations, and that makes me feel somewhat better, but it has even had us make a wrong turn here and there so now I don't even fully trust it. :roll:

I think that the ideas given about writing down roads and landmarks and having a map in the car with you will help alot. Keep us posted, k?

Cath :)