ASU_Student
06-12-2009, 05:45 AM
I don't know where to start...im 20 years old, and I think my anxiety is driving me to insanity. I really don't have a reason to be so down on my life, I look around and realize im lucky to be where im at and probably dont deserve it.
But I worry everyday. I worry about how my actions effect myself, my friends, my family. Im sucessful in school and in my social life, but I spend most of my time wishing I was something Im not and picking apart every bad piece of myself. Im sick of my sleepless nights thinking about how terrible I am and fearing for the future. Im always on edge and freak out at the smallest things.
Its wierd, every now and then I wake up and have a normal day. But that is exreamly rare, most of my days are filled with anxiety, worry and panic.
I tend to cover up my anxiety by acting childish and I always have to be drunk at parties to calm myself down and feel like I belong. I do good with girls, but all my realationships end because I dont feel like I deserve them and end up treating them like shit for it (ya I dont know how that works)...
Im sick of constantly worrying about everything for my health to my school work to what people think about me. Noone notices my anxiety except my closes friends...My friends have this joke going that they will pay for my prozac medication if I go to the doctor to get 'fixed'. They think something is wrong and I need to either see a doctor or start doing yoga or something to center myself.
Ive been planning on looking for help for awhile but I don't know where to look. I know my family would gladly help if I asked but I fear that will put a burden on them and that just causes more anxiety for me...
Where do I start to turn my life around??? Ive tried to fix my anxiety myself but I can't do it, I need direction
But I worry everyday. I worry about how my actions effect myself, my friends, my family. Im sucessful in school and in my social life, but I spend most of my time wishing I was something Im not and picking apart every bad piece of myself. Im sick of my sleepless nights thinking about how terrible I am and fearing for the future. Im always on edge and freak out at the smallest things.
Its wierd, every now and then I wake up and have a normal day. But that is exreamly rare, most of my days are filled with anxiety, worry and panic.
I tend to cover up my anxiety by acting childish and I always have to be drunk at parties to calm myself down and feel like I belong. I do good with girls, but all my realationships end because I dont feel like I deserve them and end up treating them like shit for it (ya I dont know how that works)...
Im sick of constantly worrying about everything for my health to my school work to what people think about me. Noone notices my anxiety except my closes friends...My friends have this joke going that they will pay for my prozac medication if I go to the doctor to get 'fixed'. They think something is wrong and I need to either see a doctor or start doing yoga or something to center myself.
Ive been planning on looking for help for awhile but I don't know where to look. I know my family would gladly help if I asked but I fear that will put a burden on them and that just causes more anxiety for me...
Where do I start to turn my life around??? Ive tried to fix my anxiety myself but I can't do it, I need direction