2+ Week Anxiety Attack

[Amir2490]

In all my life, I never thought I'd find myself writing in a forum like this. But here I am and here's my story. I would appreciate any insight into it.

More than two weeks ago, I was watching hockey on TV. During the intermission, they did a short story about a 19 year old boy who had just lost his battle with cancer. It shook me a little but I didn't spend too much time dwelling on it. Later that night, I noticed a pulsating/vibrating feeling in my right calf. I thought nothing of it and just continued on.

The next morning, the vibrating was still there. Two days later, I made the mistake of googling my symptoms and got results for some horrible neurological diseases. Almost instantly, my arms and my legs became weak and my head became light. Also, muscle twitches galore. I was at school when this happened and I figured I could just walk it off. I walked home, which was about a 40 minute walk but by the time I got home, I felt worse. I became paralyzed with fear. I felt weak, dizzy and the trembling had spread to my trunk as well. I also felt edgy more than ever.

The next day, I walked to the emergency room and they did a series of blood tests but found nothing. That should have made me feel better, right? Wrong. It only made things worse because I was convinced that my symptoms were due to some neurological condition.

The symptoms continued throughout the week. I couldn't take it anymore, so I went to see another doctor the following week who did a few more blood tests and I'm currently waiting for those. He thought it might be anxiety and prescribed some Atavin. By the time I got home, I was extremely exhausted/. I knew the Atavin would make me more drowsy but I took one anyway. It didn't help. If anything, it made me more anxious.

I returned the next day for a follow up appointment but my doctor was still certain that my condition wasn't anything serious. He was willing to refer me to a neurologist but the wait time was a month. The problem with that was that I'm going to Europe in two weeks.

I'm just rambling now. It's now been two weeks and my symptoms have become a little better but I still feel light headed and the trembling still comes and goes. I've been eating relatively well but I don't know when this thing will come to an end. Sometimes my anxiety escapes me but the physical symptoms still remain. Is this normal? More disturbing are my sleeping patterns. I can't sleep more than a couple of minutes before waking up with overactive thoughts. These thoughts aren't really about anything significant but they're significant enough to preoccupy me.

I'm supposed to be leaving in two weeks and I don't know if i'll be well by then. I just want to get better again. No drugs.

[tmays]

That's rough. Not sure what to tell you bro but you may want to try cbt. It is helping me deal and works pretty fast if you counter your thoughts in the tea forms everyday. Once you learn to counter your thoughts a lot of physical symptoms start to disappear or did for me anyway.

[CAJWD]

Wow! You sound a lot like me!
The internet can be a great tool, but it is also a dangerous tool sometimes. Self-diagnosis can drive you mad! I know - I've been there. You can scare yourself silly!
I have been paralyzed with fear over being ill also. I'm going through that right now and am undergoing tests. I'm scared to death! Honestly our thoughts can be our best friends or our worst enemies - and we need to learn to put them in check. That's what I'm trying to work on, but it is difficult.
You are a young man in the prime of your life with many adventures and happy times ahead of you - I'm sure.
I hope you find the strength to carry on with your plans for your trip and have the time of your life.
All the best to you.
CAJWD

[chrisz]

I get those weird physical sensations like your talking about every
once in a while. I have learned to ignore them, and in a few days
they disappear.

Chrisz

[Amir2490]

I appreciate the responses and the support. They definitely. I'm pretty fairly certain that my mind would be at ease if I knew without a doubt that I didn't have a serious physical ailment.

I'm trying my hardest to ignore the muscle twitching and the muscle tightness but it can be pretty distracting. I'm also having really horrific dreams at night. My dreams all take place in the near future. For example, my dream last night was about me going to the doctor today. In my dream, they had found something serious with me so when I woke up, I was quite spooked.

Taking baths help me relax a little but I'd like to know if you guys have any other relaxation techniques. I read a couple of posts about people trying to control their thoughts by giving themselves positive advice in their minds. This doesn't work too well with me because I'm aware that they're just empty words. I tried experimenting with pressure points and although it had some effect in the beginning, it doesn't anymore.

I'd like to know more about your guys' anxiety. Does it stem from hypochondriasis or other sources? I'm firm believer in getting to the source to resolve the problem that's why I'm not too keen on popping pills.

[Penny Owen]

Amir,
From what you have described, you are a victim of your thoughts and thought patterns. I think that you are imagining all kinds of things which is translating into physical symptoms. But face the facts - your anxiety attacks have been brought about by hearing about tragedy - this was the trigger. Instead of counterbalancing these thoughts, you have somehow allowed them to dominate.

Once after hearing about a tragic event, my heart went into overdrive and I couldn't sleep because of it. I eventually had a 24 hour heart monitor on me which proved the point - there was nothing wrong with my heart. When I realised that the tragic event had triggered off my anxiety attacks, I settled down.

Like suggested, try Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. But as you want instant results, just flip your thoughts over. When a negative thought enters your mind flip it over into a positive one. Honestly, it can be done.
I do it all the time now. It saves me a lot of pain in the physcial symptoms I have when I hear of something tragic or something awful is happening to me. It is a technique I've perfected over the years and it has kept me from being an anxiety junkie.

Enjoy your trip to Europe. Keep feeding your mind with happy thoughts and your body will respond!

All the best,
Penny

[Obelysk]

You remind me of me about a year ago. The worst thing you can do is to try and worry that there is truelly something physically wrong with your body. I cannot tell you how much I searched online and how many different diseases I attached to my anxiety, every week it was something new. lol After a lot of research and empty theory after empty theory about what was wrong with me I decided to simply admit that I indeed had a anxiety disorder and I soon realized that what I was doing was complete counter productive to my anxiety. Instead of me trying to relax my body and my all I was doing was worrying more and more about could be instead of what it really was. The way I see is that if you worry that much feel that much fear and worry than it must be anxiety. At least that is what I did....

[Penny Owen]

Hi Amir,
Thank you for your feedback. My anxiety attacks were always triggered by some event in my life, whether it be my relationship with my daughter going really badly wrong or something that had happened at work. When my mum died suddenly, that brought on anxiety attacks too and I had to go to the doctors because I couldn't sleep at night for fear of a heart attack, my heart was beating so hard. So that's me. I'd been suffering with anxiety since a child but reckon I'm 90-95% in control now.

You ask about relaxation techniques. I have four CDs of meditation and I listen to them early morning and last thing at night. Not always, it depends on whether I need to quieten my mind. Like you I had the most awful dreams, more nightmares than dreams and I would wake up several times with my heart pounding against my chest. Because of them, I didn't want to go back to sleep for fear of having another one.

I too decided that I didn't want medication so knew I had to brave this out without it. I took up t'ai chi, meditation and yoga. I do t'ai chi and meditation every morning, just for half an hour (I play one of my meditation CDs whilst doing it), then before bed if I feel anxious.

All these techniques work for me ... so does exercise about 2-3 hours before bed-time. This has something to do with the release of 'happy hormones'. Whenever I do exercise, my anxiety tails off. Do you find the same. I go jogging nowadays and by the end of the jog, I am physically tired but somehow more mentally refreshed.

To start off with, flipping your thoughts from negative to positive doesn't work too well because you don't believe that it will make much difference.
I was asked to keep at it as once I saw some proof that it works, I would be heartened by it and so would try it again and again. It takes 30 days to create a habit so although it didn't seem to be working that well, I kept on with it and after 30 days of practice found that I had a new healthy habit which worked well for me. In other words, it worked for me in the end!

I overcame my fears that way ... and believe me, I had a lot of them, lol :):)

Amir, don't let this beat you ... you can do this and we are all here on this forum willing you on.

Keep saying to yourself ... I can do this, I can beat this anxiety disorder and slowly and surely, you will. Every one is different so you can't put a time-frame on this. But once you have set your intention, it will come.

Happy recovery.
Let us all know how you are getting on and don't hesitate to keep talking to us guys. We know what you are going through.

All the best,
Penny

[Amir2490]

Thanks for your support Penny and everyone else,

I've taken some of your advice and although I feel little better mentally, many of my physical symptoms still remain. For example, I tried doing some exercise by going on a brisk walk in town but I felt so lightheaded and tired that I had to stop. Also, I still find my legs and trunk vibrating all the time. The good news is that my muscle twitching has gotten a lot better.

I'm trying to book a appointment for a neurologist next week just to get some peace of mind. I'm flying away the week after that....hopefully.

Thanks Again All and I'll let you know how it turns out in the coming week.

Amir :unsure:

[Penny Owen]

Hi Amir,
Thanks for keeping the forum updated and thank you too for trying some of our tips. I relate to what you are saying ... I too felt very tired and I too still had some symptoms. This is natural - your body isn't going to get rid of the physical symptoms straight away ... but the more you do emotionally/mentally, your body has no choice ... it has to follow. My stress and anxiety was deep rooted and I had four sessions with my therapist before I felt well enough to do much exercise at all. All that stress takes it out of your body and so it needs some time to recover. But recover it will ... you see no-one dies of anxiety - it is not life-threatening per se ... but too much stress will make your body age as it has to keep on producing cortisol and lots of other hormones to keep it balanced. Basically your body gets worn out trying to keep abreast of all the fight or flight symptoms. That's how the therapist described it to me.

You keep on thinking good thoughts (and stay distracted from the thoughts that are making you feel ill) and try and relax as much as possible, and trust me ... your physical body will eventually respond.

Listen to some quiet music if you can't make it outdoors to do some exercise ... just so long as you try to relax.

Make it your goal to relax at least an hour a day and hopefully more symptoms will disappear. When I got my heart checked out and found it to be OK, I relaxed and guess what ... no more hugemongous heart palpitations!!!

Take heart and look forward to your trip to Europe!

All the best,
Penny

[Amir2490]

Hi Penny,

Thank you for staying with me on this. So although I begin to feel a little better mentally, you're saying the physical symptoms will take a little longer to go away?

You know how you saw the cardiologist and your heart palps went away? I want experience the same thing except my symptoms are neurological but neurologists take a long time to book. I just called one today and there was a 1 year waiting list.

I just need the peace of mind.

[Penny Owen]

Hi Amir,
This is where I am a bit out of my depth because as far as I know, my symptoms weren't neurological. My doctor just explained to me that my symptoms were self-induced and that I could with a lot of effort on my side control my thoughts and in so doing, control and eliminate the physical symptoms. It took me four sessions of cognitive behavioural therapy, lasting about 1 hour and I bought the book 'cognitive behaviour therapy for Dummies'. After that four week period, I was free of the debilitating symptoms.

Yes, you do want peace of mind. The reason why I started to respond for your plea for help is because like me, your anxiety attacks were triggered by a life event (hearing about tragedy and then fearing the worst for yourself). So I thought I might be able to help you there because one of my many episodes was triggered by something similar. At one time I'd convinced myself I'd had a heart attack - the pains seemed to be so real that I was absolutely gobsmacked when the doctor told me that I had had no heart attack and that my blood pressure was normal. He then asked me if I had been under any stress and out it all came.

For some immediate help, can you see a therapist - can you see one of those before a neurologist? It is so good to talk to someone who understands what you are going through. When my therapist explained to me what had been going on in my mind and then my body, I was so reassured that I was basically OK. When she said 'right this is what we're going to do, I didn't feel so lonely anymore. I kept a lot of stuff inside me because I thought I was going mad - I didn't want friends and family to think I'd lost the plot. Talking to the therapist was such a relief. She'd been through this with lots of others and she kept on reassuring me that I was going to get better. And I did ... not straightaway but putting the CBT tips into place and changing my lifestyle helped to accelerate my recovery.

I live in the U.K. and so our medical healthcare system is different to yours so I am at a loss as to how you can get the help you need. But hey let's keep talking and one day you will write and tell the forum that you are now doing just fine. It will come to an end ... just think the right thoughts and do the right things and you will come through this.

Sorry I can't help more. Keep us all updated. We're all with you on this.
For sure.
Keep positive.
Penny

[Amir2490]

Hi,

It's been over three weeks now since this started and I can't say i've improved much. Though I'm having ups and downs. I started taking the ativan when things get too intense and it help take off the edge a little but it does little to nothing for the physical symptoms (muscle tightness, internal shaking, etc) I've also been experiencing derealization even when i'm feeling alright which is still quite disturbing.

Penny, I took your advice and I went to see my therapist last week. I only got to see him for an hour and there's only so much one can accomplish in an hour. I don't feel like the session helped much. I'm set to leave for Europe in exactly a week and as such I probably won't get a chance to see him again.

I've tried doing some daily exercise but i just feel so tired and lightheaded all the time. I went to see my family doctor who looked over my blood work. He told me to stop worrying because I don't have anything. It doesn't feel like I don't have anything.

I'm down to my last Ativan and i'm determined to keep them for emergencies. I always thought there was a certain romance about depression/anxiety since many of the worlds greatest artists and geniuses suffered from depression and anxiety. After experiencing for first time first hand, I've learned that there's nothing romantic about it at all.

I don't want to feel this way anymore. I don't want much. All I want is a place to call home and a nice person to share it with. My head hurts.

Thanks Penny. I don't know you but i appreciate the reach out.

[Penny Owen]

Hi Amir,
Thanks for keeping us all updated. Sorry there's hasn't been much progress - after one session, there rarely is. Have you tried any cognitive behavioural techniques yet? It's your thoughts which are causing your physical symptoms. You are like me - I have been through the physical symptoms you describe and I came through them ... in time.

With my therapist, over the four sessions, I came to understand how my thoughts were leading me to my physical symptoms. She got me to express myself and I had some 'aha' moments. I lacked self-esteem, so everything was a ruddy great mountain to climb.

Once I understood my triggers (what was causing my thoughts to be bad ones), I was able to control my thoughts. Because I could control my thoughts, I was able to control my behaviour. And because I was behaving differently, the physical symptoms disappeared ... I really mean that, Amir, they disappeared. One day there, next day gone. If only I realised that our thoughts were so very powerful, I might have had a much easier life (I'd been suffering from anxiety attacks off and on since childhood).

I don't want to pry but sit down and make yourself comfortable and explore why you think and feel like you do. You will find that there are issues which are causing your unhappiness, manifesting into anxiety.
Get rid of that unhappiness or unhappy thoughts and you turn your life around. It's all about what is happening in your head. Change your thoughts, change your life for the better.

I only suggest CBT because that is what I used but I was talking to a friend yesterday who is going through a really bad divorce and a very tough time, she is using neuro-linguisting programming and has bought a book to try and help her through these difficult times. Like you, she doesn't want to go on anti-depressants. But she feels like she needs some help.

Even small shoots of physical improvement are a sign that you are making progress. With CBT I went from a heart racing like a formula one car going round a race track to a car going on a leisurely spin.

But you need to believe that this can be the same for you.

Have a great time in Europe. Focus on that trip and ask in your prayers for a total recovery ... can be done, honest!

All the best,
Penny

[tmays]

Bro this takes time and effort but if you take Penny's advice you will get better. Cognitive therapy that she mentions is cbt the same thing I mentioned and it really does teach you to change your thinking and after a while lose all the physical symptoms. Everything Penny is telling you is right and mirrors what I have experienced. Have you read any cbt books? Read the one by sam obitz and do the tea form exercise in it whenever you feel anxious and you will start to change the way you think and eliminate the cause of your anxiety and physical symtoms.

[Amir2490]

tmays,

I can't find the book anywhere.

[tmays]

Amazon has used copies here:
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_gw?ur ... tz&x=0&y=0 (http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_gw?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=sam+obitz&x=0&y=0)

or you can buy it new direct here:
www.tao3.com (http://www.tao3.com)