CAJWD
05-14-2009, 07:29 AM
I have to go and have my first mammogram today and I'm terrified. My doctor found a lump, but thinks it's nothing, but I have to have the tests to confirm.
The problem is that now I'm worried about dying of cancer - I can't sleep - can't eat and have constant thoughts of dying young.
When this wasn't an issue - it was something else that would be bothering me. It just seems that I'm always at a crossroads with my untimely demise and it is soooooo terrifying!!
I'm at the point where I don't enjoy anything in life, because the thought of death sneaks in all of the time. I also worry about my children and husband and their deaths - I'm totally consumed by the thoughts.
How do I start enjoying life again? Because living like this is really unbearable.
The problem is that now I'm worried about dying of cancer - I can't sleep - can't eat and have constant thoughts of dying young.
When this wasn't an issue - it was something else that would be bothering me. It just seems that I'm always at a crossroads with my untimely demise and it is soooooo terrifying!!
I'm at the point where I don't enjoy anything in life, because the thought of death sneaks in all of the time. I also worry about my children and husband and their deaths - I'm totally consumed by the thoughts.
How do I start enjoying life again? Because living like this is really unbearable.