TheShortBus
04-23-2009, 01:18 AM
Ok so heres the deal. I found this site almost exactly a year ago when I started having some pretty serious panic attacks. I'm a 20 year old guy have a good family and close friends, but get depressed pretty easily. Well when everything started I was having really bad panic attacks and dealing with "not thinking anything was real, like I was in a movie or somthing...". Well when all that was goin on I pretty much didnt leave my house for a few weeks, and then I just had major anxiety all the time evan after. Mainly I think it was anxiety of the panic attacks comming back at a bad time and stuff like that. Had them come on out of no where while I was driving a few time... not fun, surprised I didn't run my self or anyone else off the road trying to speed home, my "safe zone." Well I ended up going to see someone and getting on some meds and it seemed to help. After awhile they really started to bug me and I just decided to get off them. It was hard to get used to the anxiety and panic attacks coming back, but I'm actually starting to get the grasp of controlling them and calming my self down.
Well I decided to get back into school and went for about two months until my panic attacks came back full force.. It got so bad every time I was at school that I had to drop out.. Well it's been a few months since then and I've gotten a lot better. Only thing is I haven't been sleeping hardly at all and I've been really depressed. I don't have a job right now, but ive applied to a ton of placed and go in and bug them, but just cant seem to get called back. So i pretty much stay up till all hours of the night and sleep in super late (if i sleep at all).. 2 of my room mates are full times students and the other has two jobs.. so its pretty depressing sitting around by myself all day.. and knowing they dont understand... one of them can be a real d!ck too and thinks im just lazy and just crzy when i try to explain what im goin through.
they all 3 have girl friends as well, so im always left out of stuff. and thats another thing.... one of there gril friends recently hooked me up with one of there good friends. we had been talking for about a month and really seemed to hit it off. i was really starting to fall for her, and loved hanging out. well she asked me if she could stay over one night and she did. we hooked up and after wards we just talked all night. and she said it was weird how comfortable she felt with me so soon and i said the same. well we were still talking and nothing else had change, and im positive i didnt say anything to puch her away... but 2 days ago i get a text from her sayin she "wasnt that into me anymore, and she feels really bad"... haven't seen her since then, but she keep talking to me and shes the one who always text me first to talk... so im pretty confused and really bummed about all that. it made my sleep schedual even worse and just will make me randomly depresses at times during the day... oh and guess what... my anxiety came back when this happened as well....
so im up right now thinking about how crappy i fell about just my life and situation in general.. i just never seem happy and cant seem to motivate myself to do anything. although i have started playing hockey again to get some exercise. but i have to be up for that at 9 and its after 3 here.... done this a few times now and i end up just getting sick from exerting myself and having no sleep...
blahhhh wow yeah sorry all thats such a ramble but i just needed to write and see if anyone could give me some advice
Well I decided to get back into school and went for about two months until my panic attacks came back full force.. It got so bad every time I was at school that I had to drop out.. Well it's been a few months since then and I've gotten a lot better. Only thing is I haven't been sleeping hardly at all and I've been really depressed. I don't have a job right now, but ive applied to a ton of placed and go in and bug them, but just cant seem to get called back. So i pretty much stay up till all hours of the night and sleep in super late (if i sleep at all).. 2 of my room mates are full times students and the other has two jobs.. so its pretty depressing sitting around by myself all day.. and knowing they dont understand... one of them can be a real d!ck too and thinks im just lazy and just crzy when i try to explain what im goin through.
they all 3 have girl friends as well, so im always left out of stuff. and thats another thing.... one of there gril friends recently hooked me up with one of there good friends. we had been talking for about a month and really seemed to hit it off. i was really starting to fall for her, and loved hanging out. well she asked me if she could stay over one night and she did. we hooked up and after wards we just talked all night. and she said it was weird how comfortable she felt with me so soon and i said the same. well we were still talking and nothing else had change, and im positive i didnt say anything to puch her away... but 2 days ago i get a text from her sayin she "wasnt that into me anymore, and she feels really bad"... haven't seen her since then, but she keep talking to me and shes the one who always text me first to talk... so im pretty confused and really bummed about all that. it made my sleep schedual even worse and just will make me randomly depresses at times during the day... oh and guess what... my anxiety came back when this happened as well....
so im up right now thinking about how crappy i fell about just my life and situation in general.. i just never seem happy and cant seem to motivate myself to do anything. although i have started playing hockey again to get some exercise. but i have to be up for that at 9 and its after 3 here.... done this a few times now and i end up just getting sick from exerting myself and having no sleep...
blahhhh wow yeah sorry all thats such a ramble but i just needed to write and see if anyone could give me some advice