SGW
04-04-2009, 06:36 AM
hi people, i just wanted to share my story, hopefull someone here will want to read it and can maybe offer me some advice, and maybe it might help someone also. id be gratefull for any reply
ok, for the past year of my life i have been in a bit of a bother, it started when after a very long partying every weekend lifestyle came to an abrupt end after having a fit whilst very drunk, it was one of the most scary moments of my life and as a consequence i gave up drinking, smoking, and a daily cannabis habbit all at once.
i was certain that the fit was a message telling me to sort out my life and get healthy and go somewhere, i started exercising very intensly and eating healthy and was really pushing it for a few months but i stared to develope an anxiety issue for no apparent reason. i hadnt seen any of my friends for a while so decided on xmas eve to go out and have a drink, i only had 2 and during the evening i felt a dejavu feeling exactly like i had before i had a fit, needless to say it scared the crap out of me and i returned home immediatley.
i spent the next few days completley fatigued and very upset that something was very wrong with me which resulted in panic attacks evertime id get up too fast or get out of a hot bath, at the time i didnt know they were panik attacks and genuinley thought they were some kind of heart attack or stroke or siezure.
so i started to feel very very ill and totally fatiuged, anytime i felt something wrong with me i was convinced it was related to my "health issues",
anyway i ended up spending so much time indoors alone that i became very anxious when going outside and as a result avoided it, i understood that i was devolping an anxity disorder but beleive that was additional to being very ill and was only a result of spending so much time indoors through being so ill.
after countless different tests and some very scary moments, for instance after an xray which had all the criterea needed to conduct tests for lymphoma, every test for physical illness had been exhausted and my doctor asked me "do you think this could all be down to your anxiety?",
at that point it clicked and i thought this sounds right.
i got prescribed citalopram at 20mg per day about 5 days ago and until today have been beating myself up over the fact that its anxiety, i feel like its my fault y'know?
but yeah what i want to know is, once you accept that anxiety is what is making your feel so bad does that then make getting over it any easier?
did anyone else feel like it was there fault when diagnosed for want of a better word feel like a "nutter" that is going to be messed up for the rest of there life?
has anyone recovered or started to and how releiving is it when it starts to get better?
thankyou for anyone who has read this, i just wanted someone to listen as i have no-one to talk to about all of this, any reply advice or reassurance is greatly apprieciated....... thankyou :)
ok, for the past year of my life i have been in a bit of a bother, it started when after a very long partying every weekend lifestyle came to an abrupt end after having a fit whilst very drunk, it was one of the most scary moments of my life and as a consequence i gave up drinking, smoking, and a daily cannabis habbit all at once.
i was certain that the fit was a message telling me to sort out my life and get healthy and go somewhere, i started exercising very intensly and eating healthy and was really pushing it for a few months but i stared to develope an anxiety issue for no apparent reason. i hadnt seen any of my friends for a while so decided on xmas eve to go out and have a drink, i only had 2 and during the evening i felt a dejavu feeling exactly like i had before i had a fit, needless to say it scared the crap out of me and i returned home immediatley.
i spent the next few days completley fatigued and very upset that something was very wrong with me which resulted in panic attacks evertime id get up too fast or get out of a hot bath, at the time i didnt know they were panik attacks and genuinley thought they were some kind of heart attack or stroke or siezure.
so i started to feel very very ill and totally fatiuged, anytime i felt something wrong with me i was convinced it was related to my "health issues",
anyway i ended up spending so much time indoors alone that i became very anxious when going outside and as a result avoided it, i understood that i was devolping an anxity disorder but beleive that was additional to being very ill and was only a result of spending so much time indoors through being so ill.
after countless different tests and some very scary moments, for instance after an xray which had all the criterea needed to conduct tests for lymphoma, every test for physical illness had been exhausted and my doctor asked me "do you think this could all be down to your anxiety?",
at that point it clicked and i thought this sounds right.
i got prescribed citalopram at 20mg per day about 5 days ago and until today have been beating myself up over the fact that its anxiety, i feel like its my fault y'know?
but yeah what i want to know is, once you accept that anxiety is what is making your feel so bad does that then make getting over it any easier?
did anyone else feel like it was there fault when diagnosed for want of a better word feel like a "nutter" that is going to be messed up for the rest of there life?
has anyone recovered or started to and how releiving is it when it starts to get better?
thankyou for anyone who has read this, i just wanted someone to listen as i have no-one to talk to about all of this, any reply advice or reassurance is greatly apprieciated....... thankyou :)