Wallicio
04-03-2009, 03:33 PM
Hi,
Im I have never been one to express my feelings very well but as of late have not been feeling myself and i think i may need some help.
When my partner miscarried (4months ago) i never really talked about it, never told any of my mates. the other half told all of her family, apart from my boss which i had to tell to get the time off to drive the other half to the hospital no one knows.Hit the bottle fairly hard took up smoking again and kept myself to myself. I felt this was my way of dealing with things. Then I started talking to myself, real conversations about possible outcomes to the result in the recent miscarriage. I started having partial and full body spasms where i would be thinking to myself then at the end of a conversation jerk my leg or raise my arm as an outlet for the bad vibe to go i guess. the only real release was sleep. Nobody noticed it thankfully but it never really went away fully.
More recently (last week) i went to my friends wedding. had an excellent time and was a really happy drunk. But now am having trouble remembering what happened im having flashbacks of various proportions and not going into much detail but i think i may have had a couple of panic attacks resulting in me saying wrong things to the wrong people. The tirigger is worse this time. my partner has noticed me jibbering away at myself work colleagues are beggining to look at me funny. my boss heard me having a conversation with myself. all i can think about is the wedding and what i may or may not have said. the thing is its been a week and if i was to have said something it would have come out by now but i cant stop thinking about it. the knee jerk reactions have come back and i keep going over and over things in my head its driving me crazy i just want the voices to stop. i have started slapping myself on the head, not intentionally it just comes out of nowhere. Also its like a mild terrets, i will be talking to myself in my head then a whole sentance will come out?? when i say after dinner sat next to my mrs... " I dunno, what a donut i dont know why" she replies with "what did you say?" what do i say to her?? was just thinking out loud?? im mean come on Im a normal bloke?? I shouldnt be doing this surely?
I really sound looney tune and reading through this its starting to sound alcohol related but the first trigger wasnnt and i havent touched the stuff since the wedding.
Is there anything i can take to stop me being so anxious?
Please help?
(thanks for reading i know its a long one.)
Wallicio
Im I have never been one to express my feelings very well but as of late have not been feeling myself and i think i may need some help.
When my partner miscarried (4months ago) i never really talked about it, never told any of my mates. the other half told all of her family, apart from my boss which i had to tell to get the time off to drive the other half to the hospital no one knows.Hit the bottle fairly hard took up smoking again and kept myself to myself. I felt this was my way of dealing with things. Then I started talking to myself, real conversations about possible outcomes to the result in the recent miscarriage. I started having partial and full body spasms where i would be thinking to myself then at the end of a conversation jerk my leg or raise my arm as an outlet for the bad vibe to go i guess. the only real release was sleep. Nobody noticed it thankfully but it never really went away fully.
More recently (last week) i went to my friends wedding. had an excellent time and was a really happy drunk. But now am having trouble remembering what happened im having flashbacks of various proportions and not going into much detail but i think i may have had a couple of panic attacks resulting in me saying wrong things to the wrong people. The tirigger is worse this time. my partner has noticed me jibbering away at myself work colleagues are beggining to look at me funny. my boss heard me having a conversation with myself. all i can think about is the wedding and what i may or may not have said. the thing is its been a week and if i was to have said something it would have come out by now but i cant stop thinking about it. the knee jerk reactions have come back and i keep going over and over things in my head its driving me crazy i just want the voices to stop. i have started slapping myself on the head, not intentionally it just comes out of nowhere. Also its like a mild terrets, i will be talking to myself in my head then a whole sentance will come out?? when i say after dinner sat next to my mrs... " I dunno, what a donut i dont know why" she replies with "what did you say?" what do i say to her?? was just thinking out loud?? im mean come on Im a normal bloke?? I shouldnt be doing this surely?
I really sound looney tune and reading through this its starting to sound alcohol related but the first trigger wasnnt and i havent touched the stuff since the wedding.
Is there anything i can take to stop me being so anxious?
Please help?
(thanks for reading i know its a long one.)
Wallicio