dunky
04-02-2009, 09:28 PM
Hey, my name's Matt, but you can just call me dunky if you want. I've had anxiety and social phobia for a while, but wasn't actually diagnosed until earlier this year. I had a string of panic attacks following finals at school (University of Texas at San Antonio) and had to move back home with my parents in San Marcos, Texas. I feel like this anxiety is winning its battle against me, the only times I've left my house were to go on dates, and most of the time just picking the girl up and bringing her here. I really want to be able to get out more and I'm hoping that being a part of this community will give me the courage to try harder.
I'm taking Paxil for my anxiety/depression and Clonipin as my little anti-anxiety pill when I really need it. My body also interprets my anxiety physically, giving me a sour stomach and Irritable Bowel Syndrome, which is not a pleasant thing to have when you are going somewhere new and don't know if the bathroom is clean or even if there is one. I've made several attempts to go back to my apartment in San Antonio, just for a few minutes, not even staying overnight or anything. Every time I feel sick to my stomach or like I have to go to the bathroom. My most recent attempt I literally stood in the middle of the living room, paralyzed with my anxiety. I tried hard to push past it and actually go into my room, but I couldn't, I ended up leaving.
I'm afraid of getting a job or going back to school. I've actually dropped out of school because I just could not go to the campus, no matter how hard I tried. I've been fortunate that my friends and recent girlfriends have been supportive, but most of them are all living out of town now that they're in college. The ones that aren't out of town have jobs, so the only times they have free are late at night or on the weekends, where there's usually more people out and about and I can't handle a lot people. I've been to the movies once in about a year or so, and that was during the day time and, aside from my girlfriend at the time and I, there were only 3 other people in the theater. I'd really like to get past all this, but it's so hard.
If anyone has some tips or something that might help me, or even if we can just talk, I would really appreciate it.
I'm taking Paxil for my anxiety/depression and Clonipin as my little anti-anxiety pill when I really need it. My body also interprets my anxiety physically, giving me a sour stomach and Irritable Bowel Syndrome, which is not a pleasant thing to have when you are going somewhere new and don't know if the bathroom is clean or even if there is one. I've made several attempts to go back to my apartment in San Antonio, just for a few minutes, not even staying overnight or anything. Every time I feel sick to my stomach or like I have to go to the bathroom. My most recent attempt I literally stood in the middle of the living room, paralyzed with my anxiety. I tried hard to push past it and actually go into my room, but I couldn't, I ended up leaving.
I'm afraid of getting a job or going back to school. I've actually dropped out of school because I just could not go to the campus, no matter how hard I tried. I've been fortunate that my friends and recent girlfriends have been supportive, but most of them are all living out of town now that they're in college. The ones that aren't out of town have jobs, so the only times they have free are late at night or on the weekends, where there's usually more people out and about and I can't handle a lot people. I've been to the movies once in about a year or so, and that was during the day time and, aside from my girlfriend at the time and I, there were only 3 other people in the theater. I'd really like to get past all this, but it's so hard.
If anyone has some tips or something that might help me, or even if we can just talk, I would really appreciate it.