My story

[Hib9]

Hello,

Well I just wanted to introduce myself and hope that writing and getting this out will help me to recover a little bit. This is hard for me. I have read some stories on here that I definitely relate to, and that's a good thing. I feel like I can't really describe how I am feeling to the people in my life without sounding "crazy", so I try not to. I have anxiety all the time. Day and night. All the time. I am constantly worrying about something. Whether it is money issues, my health, my family's health and safety, or my relationships, I am constantly worrying. It is to the point now that if I am not worrying, I find something to worry about. Not on purpose...but that is how it happens. It's as if I feel like if I am not worrying, then something bad will happen. I am an outgoing and fun-loving person....always have been. But I feel that person slipping away slowly, falling victim to the anxiety and panic attacks. The spells of sweat, chest pains, butterflies in the stomach (not the good kind), etc etc. I'm sick of it. I have such great people in my life and I should be happy. But I can't help but worry all the time. I am going back to therapy very, very soon. I stopped going because I thought I was "doing just fine". But it's worse now than ever. I read somewhere that a mental condition is like a physical condition in the sense that if it goes untreated, it only gets worse. I have went to the hospital in the past because I thought I was having a heart attack and going to die if I didn't go. The doctor told me I had anxiety issues, and to take meds (he gave me a few pills, I believe they were zoloft).
Anyone else feel like this? Just wondering. It did feel good to write it all out. Be well everyone.

[Stones]

Hib,

I can totally relate to what you are going through. I also have a racing mind that will not stop worrying. I have also had the chest pains, sweats, nausea, etc... Isn't it beautiful. Seriously though, you can minimize and or stop these feelings but you have to get some help. Either by talking to a family member or as I did seek out some professional help. I have been at this therapy thing for a month now and notice a big differnce. I had to take the route of meds and therapy for now as I could not deal with the panic/anxiety any longer, it was starting to rule my life. It is the people that do not seek help that will stay or worsen their condition. Try to stay positive as anything negative will bring on the anxiety. I am her if you need to vent. Hope you feel better. ;)

[Hib9]

Hi Stones,

Thanks so much for your reply. It is very nice to speak with someone who can relate. It is true, I do need to seek help. I just need to find a therapist who I am comfortable with, as that has been a problem for me in the past. This morning is actually not a very good one at all for me. For some reason, I woke up this morning with such a feeling of dread it was ridiculous. I had really bad dreams and woke up not being able to distinguish what was real and what wasn't, and even after I realized it was just a dream, I couldn't let go and got anxiety so badly, about everything I get worried about all at once. I almost stayed home from work, but honestly sometimes I am afraid to be alone with myself, because I am left just with my thoughts and that can be bad. So I made myself come to work and I'm glad about that. At least it takes my mind off things.....
Do you find yourself being able to easily talk with your therapist about things? Thanks again for the talk. It helps.

[Stones]

Hi Hib,

Sorry you were not feeling so hot this morning. Glad to see that you went to work and my guess is that you probably feel a bit better. I fight with this almost everyday although it has been better for me lately. I find your reply almost surreal as what you are experiencing is EXACTLY what I go through. I also wake in the morning with my mind doing about 100mph and with uncomfortable anxiety levels. I would almost say that it feels as if I am just nervous to the core. That feeling usually does dissipate as I get up and get going and actually distract myself. Are you on any meds? As far as a therapist is concerned I am on my fourth one and I think that I have found the one that can help me. I find it very easy to dump everything and anything off my chest at our sessions, this has helped. In the past I did not feel that way. It really feels great. I am a person who internalizes a lot of issues which I think may play a major part in my anxiety. I have one pointer for you until the next time. When you start to feel this anxiety/panic feeling, do not fight it. Let it come on; see how high on a scale from 1 to 10 that you can get it. By doing this it will dissipate those unwanted feelings quicker.

Try and stay positive you can beat this. :D

[Hib9]

Hello,

Thanks for the reply. Wow I can't believe you feel the same way. I always think it's so crazy that it happens in the morning, as the day has not even yet begun so nothing has even happened yet to worry me. I wish I could just say that it is a new day with new beginnings, but I can't. No, I am currently not on any meds. I was on some before (I forget the name) and it made me feel like I was in a daze. I think it was just not the right prescription for me. I am glad that you have found someone that you like for a therapist. That is a good thing and is important. I need to find someone, as I did enjoy being able to dump everything out as well. Another thing is, I try to talk to my friends but they just don't see eye to eye and they compare everything to how they feel about things, and it doesn't match with my feelings. I also use exercise as a mechanism to cope. However, I haven't bee to the gym for a week straight in a couple of months, have just been going here and there. But it did help before, even though sometimes my mind would race as my body was tiring out. However, afterward if I accomplished something like running longer than I thought I could, I would feel proud and good about it. I feel like I need to find way more time in my life for physical things like that. Also, I feel as though I need to tell my friends that I can not be around them when they drink alcohol. It is not a good thing for someone like me who worries constantly. I am okay when I go out with them and hang around them, but it is not that great and I am starting to pull away, as I will worry afterwards about something I may have said or did to offend someone or that they think badly of me now as a result. Even though I may not have said something bad, I will think of something, anything that could have happened that will result in a bad outcome.

If you don't mind me asking, what types of things do you worry about? I worry about my relationsips (that my boyfriend will leave me...we have a great, strong relationship but I will find anything at all that will worry me about it, and will think constantlty that he will leave me and it will all be over)...I can't even enjoy good times with him because I am afraid they will end soon. I also worry very much about money, debt, future plans, and health issues and my family's health and well-being. Thanks again for the talk.

[Stones]

You and I are not the only ones. So many suffer with these same symptoms. I also think that the feelings in the mornings must mean that I losing it as what could possibly be on my mind then. I think I read something that said over 7 million people fight anxiety. Good to hear that you are exercising as that is a great stress reliever. I am at it everyday and it helps. I know you say that you don’t want to go out with your friends as there is always alcohol. I completely understand your situation as alcohol and anxiety do not mix it will make it worse for days. The only thing you have to be careful about it you do not want to shelter yourself. Yes I am guilty. I have little by little cut mostly everyone off because of that all they do is drink and I can not be around that as I am not strong enough to say no right now. I am a business owner which employs roughly 10 people. I am constantly worried about my business, my health especially my heart, my relationships with my family and wife, what the future holds, and I am in the process of selling my house and buying another yeah the plate is full. I am trying with help of course to not take myself so seriously. I am a bit of a perfectionist which also is frustrating as I am usually let down by my expectations of others. Seems as I am in a never ending circle of thoughts. Jeez I am actually having some chest zings right now. You have to let it go and keep this stuff in check and that is way easier said then done. You have to stop worrying about miscellaneous stuff and focus on yourself. Choosing to be positive and having a grateful attitude is going to determine how you're going to live your life.

FYI I also joined http://dailystrength.org
I am a member under the “Anxiety Support Group” I am listed as CrazyDiamond77. This site/forum is a pretty good site as there seems to be a lot more members who respond pretty quickly. We are all in the same boat and looking for the answer. Check it out and if you join shoot me a message.
I am always here to talk. ;)