What i've discovered so far

[seizetheday]

Like all of you, I have some days that are better than others... but after trying to figure out anxiety for a while i think i've found something that makes me feel better.. and maybe it will help you too. I find that one of the big reasons why i feel anxious in social situations is because i'm not being honest with myself and i'm not acting like i want to act. You have to speak and act from the heart. You can't always try and make other people happy.. even with small things... for example last night i was with a friend and my girlfriend phoned me.. we talked for a few minutes and i was feeling fine.. and then it was time to say goodbye.. she said i love you and i said i love you too.. but my friend was in the same room and for some reason i felt awkward saying that infront of him so i said it really quickly kind of like i was just trying to get it out of the way when would normally say it with affection... if that makes any sense?... anyway, after i hung up the phone i immediately felt anxiety/guilt kicking in. I was worried that my girlfriend knew that i was behaving like that because my friend was around.. but if i was just honest with myself from the beginning and acted as i would have if no one was around, i don't think there would have been any anxiety. Since then i've thought about other situations and thought about how i act differently around other groups of people just to fit their needs. You have to believe in your own thoughts, beliefs and opinions and ask yourself "how do i REALLY want to act in this situation?" and then just try to do it.. it's hard not to focus on what other people think about you, but you have to try to live in the moment and try to not think too much. Thats another thing i really noticed is that people with anxiety think about everything and analyze everything way too much.. it's a hard habbit to break, but i think it's one of the keys to getting over this dam curse haha :)

[Piglette130]

I kind of agree...

Though, a lot of the time, I feel like my GAD happens for no reason, I recently left a new job because I felt like I had to be "fake" all the time. After reading your post I thought about it, and being fake and pretending might have been what was causing some anxiety for me.

good thought.

[Robbed]

After reading your post I thought about it, and being fake and pretending might have been what was causing some anxiety for me.

'Being fake' does not cause anxiety disorder. Some people even thrive on it. Rather, stress is what causes anxiety disorder. Coming to this realization is hard for some people, since many of us have certain preconceived notions as to exactly what stress is. Specifically, many of us think that stress means workplace stresses (ie tight deadlines, difficult projects, bad supervisors, etc), relationship stresses (ie controlling/abusive spouses, infidelity, money issues, etc), or something similar. And nothing else counts as being stress. But other things, like having to 'be fake' against your will, are also stressful. And if these sorts of things cause enough stress for a long enough time, the resulting stress can cause anxiety disorder. This is VERY important to consider, as SO many people out there do not recognize stresses such as this (or, perhaps better put, don't recognize that what they feel IS stress). They figure that, because they felt OKAY most of the time before having anxiety disorder, the must not have been stressed. And, after developing anxiety disorder, they figure that their anxiety disorder MUST be 100% biological (since they don't think they were stressed before). This, of course, just leads to hopelessness and dependency on medications which need not be.

[Piglette130]

Anxiety is different for everyone and you should not tell people what does and does not cause their anxiety. Yes, stressors lead to anxiety, but there is a large biological aspect to this disorder, and for some people, like myself, attacks can happen even when there are not specific stressful situations.

I don't feel that this forum is a place for us to judge peoples' posts. Criticism and telling people what they "should" be doing or realizing is not being helpful. Some of us come here to vent and share ideas, whether or not they are "correct" in your opinion.

I came to the realization that being "fake" at work, and pretending to be someone I'm not was causing me to be anxious. Please do not tell me that's not possible. You are not my therapist, and you are not me. :x

[DDiaz]

In my opinion ( this is just that) most of the time what triggers a panic/anxiety attack is just that, a trigger.

Most of the time, these triggers don't make much logical sense, even to us. But there is no denying the very real feelings of the very illogical trigger.

I believe that there is a thought process going on at a much deeper level that we are not aware of, then some how we trigger the trigger and BAM anxiety out the roof.

Because the root cause is an unconscious thought process, that explains why everybody has different symptoms, different triggers and different side affects to medications.

The human mind is a very complex thing...there is so much about the brain that we don't understand.

[Piglette130]

DDiaz, I completely agree!!! Thanks for the input.

[Robbed]

Anxiety is different for everyone and you should not tell people what does and does not cause their anxiety. Yes, stressors lead to anxiety, but there is a large biological aspect to this disorder, and for some people, like myself, attacks can happen even when there are not specific stressful situations.

I don't feel that this forum is a place for us to judge peoples' posts. Criticism and telling people what they "should" be doing or realizing is not being helpful. Some of us come here to vent and share ideas, whether or not they are "correct" in your opinion.

I came to the realization that being "fake" at work, and pretending to be someone I'm not was causing me to be anxious. Please do not tell me that's not possible. You are not my therapist, and you are not me. :x

No need to get nasty here. I'm just saying how I see it based on my experiences with anxiety disorder. Anyway, from what I have found, stressors need not be necessary to cause panic attacks. Stresses over time simply cause the disorder itself. Once the disorder exists, attacks can then occur at any time, and for no reason. It would seem that once the disorder is under way, your mind operates rather erratically And to try to make sense of what is happening from minute to minute is pointless. As for being fake at work and pretending that you are someone you are not, this is simply a stressor.