Terrified, Only Word I Can Use

[ManWithTerror]

Back in 2001 I ahd alot of deaths and changes in my life going on. I went to see the doctor because I was getting short of breath all the time and had trouble keeping food down. My blood pressure had risen to an uncanny mark and the doc asked if I was snorting cocaine in massive amounts because he hadn't seen someone have their blood pressure that high unless they were on drugs for my age.....24 at the time. Of course I said no I'm just stressed out. Ran tests after tests and he told me that I need to find ways to calm down and get more exercise. My arteries were fine but a part of my heart wall wasn't working because of the high blood pressure. So I took his advice, moved out of home and traveled the east coast on a flooring job. Well about two years ago I had to take a desk job. Started to gain weight again and kept having the occasional shiortness of breath attack.

Well this past December everything came crashing down and I felt just like I did in 2001 only this time the EKG read abnormal with Q and T Wave inversion so they thought I was having a heart attack. This scared the living daylights out of me. Took XRays and Blood work and it all came back normal. Redone the EKG and said it was better than the first a good deal but still off some. My blood pressure when I went in was 210 over 150. After they injected me with Ativan within an hour it went back down to 144 over 88. Sent me home with a script of Ativan saying I suffer from anxiety. This I already knew.

Well started to work out again, eat better, made lifestyler changes but the stress still remained. The more weight I lost the lower my blood pressure would be when I was calm. It got to the point where I would wake up in the morning and it would be 125 over 82 with a heart rate of 55 BPM. I had a system going on where if I felt stressed out I would go work out and feel better after a while.

Last week is where the terror comes in. I started to get irritated and feel an attack coming on so I went to work out. After I did some pushups all of the sudden if felt like my stomach dropped, my heart rate instantly went up to 140 BPM, felt like someone injected my with straight adrenaline, palms got sweaty, felt like I couldn't take a deep breath, and I actually thought to myself well this is it. I'm checking out. It was to the point where I just wanted to pass out but then it popped in my head that if I did that I might never wake up. So I took two Ativan that I had leftover and another two waves adrenaline felt like it hit me to the point where I felt like I was having a heart attack but didn't really feel any chest pain. Then I had a couple bouts with the pain that lasted a split second like twice and then finally after an hour I was able to get myself calmed down watching TV, fell asleep, and woke up in the morning with a blood pressure of 122 over 80 with a heart rate of 50 BPM.

Now I don't know if this is exactly what people call a panic attack or if something else is wrong with my body but it has me terrified to the point that now I am afraid to exercise in case it triggers it again. And if I think on anything related to anxiety, depression, or heart health I can feel an attack coming on.

This sucks.......all I want to do is live a normal life and I go thru this EVERY single day for the past two months and it's spiraling me down into depression because two thoughts are always on mind. It's either heart issues which at 31 and having no family history of it really brings me down or it's a mental issue so that means my mind can't grasp that when it happens and that in itself could freak me out into having a heart attack.

Terrified.

[anadirinlife]

the same exact things happen to me. i feel waves of adrenaline, followed by a fast and pounding heart rate and it scares the hell out of me. i've been to the ER a million times. each time they give me something like ativan and tell me to go home. i've had my heart checked out by cardiologists who say its in perfect condition. it's all in my mind. i'm completely with you though. i go through the same thing.

[danstelter]

From what you say, it sounds like it is in your head, and this is quite a complex situation, perhaps beyond the expertise of those in this forum to help you.

I would advise seeing a counselor (VERY helpful-it helped me a ton), as that is a person who can help you think through this difficult situation. Aside from that, counseling is very beneficial in reducing anxiety, and that is probably what needs to happen. You should take every step possible to reduce your anxiety at this point. The anxiety does sound similar to my girlfriends, who suffers from panic attacks and went to the ER once where doctors were baffled and told her she was fine. I have never heard of anxiety attacks killing anyone, but I can relate to your experience. So, seek out further help because that is probably your best option.

Be sure to ask for further questions/guidance if you feel you need it.

[Stones]

I go through the same ugly thing, especially the cycle of non stop dark thoughts where the outcome it bleak. These thoughts do not seem to let up. However, I have started to see a therapist to try and get to the root of the situation. I am personally trying the medicated with therapy route. I am still suffering from these racing thoughts but I do see some improvement since last month. I was a complete mess, missing work, didn’t want to do anything, depressed etc… I think the anxiety makes us ultra sensitive to any little pain of any type going on in our bodies which brings upon anxiety. Well that seems to be what happens in my head anyway. Hope that helps. Dan’s (previous post) has got it right go get yourself some professional advice/help and face it. You will get better.

Need some more input we are here.

:D

[ConanOBrien]

i think you will be ok.