Anxiety is taking over my life - My Intro

[Piglette130]

Hello everyone,

I don't know what I'm hoping to gain from this forum, but here I am. I am a 24 year old female with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and I'm currently going through HELL. I was diagnosed at 15 along with irritable bowel syndrome. For years I was incredibly functional. I had a tough year in high school, and some tough spots in college. I'm a type-A personality and I tried counseling and talk therapy along with xanax, but I never felt like talking to somebody did anything for me. I already understood that I wasn't "going to die" and I knew different ways to breathe and the other things they "taught" me.

Do any of you ever feel like your anxiety is 100% biological and not related to stress in your life?

I was on Paxil CR for years with great success, and I eventually went off it when I felt like I didn't need it anymore. Now over the past month, my anxiety has crept back into daily life, and this week I was in the ER with a massive panic attack. Today I started Paxil CR again, and I am PRAYING it will take effect soon. Right now all I can do is lie on the couch in a Ativan stupor or I'm an absolute, shaking, crying mess.

I am in danger of losing my job, but until I can get my feet back under me with the Paxil, there's no way I can get to work. I get so frustrated with GAD, because it's such a slow road to progress, and the rest of the work world doesn't realize that :cry:

My husband and I got married 6 months ago, and we're living paycheck to paycheck, but we're HAPPY. My problem is that I have a teaching degree, and he has a fine art degree. He's depending on ME to get and keep a teaching job in order for him to go back to school and get a graphic design certificate. Sometimes I feel like I might not want to be a teacher. But, I'm good at it, and my parents paid for my education. So I'd be letting everyone down if I don't teach.

well, it feels good to vent a little. I'd like to hear if you've had a similar experience, or if any of you are doing well with Paxil CR

Thanks

[Stones]

Hi Sarah,

I also SUFFER with GAD complimented by panic attacks and throw in some agoraphobia to boot. My attacks lately, like yourself been coming on super strong where I do not even want to go to work or if an attack occurs at work I have to leave. Fortunately I own the company so I am not in any jeopardy of losing my job but it is severely affecting my life in every capacity. I like yourself have done the cognitive therapy thing with the breathing, visualization techniques etc…
Currently I have switched medications and therapists. Currently I am taking BuSpar with my trusty Xanax when needed. The therapy now is not cognitive therapy. I am trying to find the root or trigger to my issues so we talk, I am confident that I will find it as I am sure you will too. I am still searching but I will not give up. For now accept that there will be good days and there will be bad days.
You ask if it is possible that your condition is biological. Sure it can be. I have discussed the same topic with my therapist. It’s is just like any other disorder or disease. You do not have to be this way and this is what I am trying to learn. The road is long but we can break this curse as it is hell and speaking for myself I feel as I am a walking nightmare. Do not wait for your meds to start working, instead of laying on the couch maybe try and go for a walk or just go get some exercise, distract yourself. This does work. It might be a temporary fix but who cares. One step at a time. You can do it. Do not worry about anything else right now, it is your time to fix yourself and you will.

Sorry for rambling, and remember if you every need to vent I am here going through the same thing.

Stones
:D

[Piglette130]

Thanks for your input stones. It's comforting to hear others dealing with the EXACT same feelings.
I am just waiting for the Paxil CR to kick in, because it worked so well for me before I went off it. I like that you seem to take ownership over your anxiety and demand to get to the bottom of it. I could see myself getting to that point soon, but right now I feel a bit helpless over the physical symptoms. It would be nice if there wasn't such a long wait to get it to see a psychiatrist. Fortunately, this afternoon I had a long talk with my Mom, then my husband. And I feel a little better after discussing some personal issues with them. So I have a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel--- says the girl who was on the forum 6 hours ago crying her eyes out.

I guess it will just be a roller coaster for a while, and if you're anything like me (since you're self-employed) you probably want things fixed now!!! That's something I hope to gain from therapy.

Here's to a good day tomorrow. :)

[Stones]

Sarah,

You're very welcome. Again if you ever need to vent or lean on someone I am here and there are many others willing and able to lend an ear.

I also feel good talking about these things with people going through the same stuff as they understand first hand.

Be well... :D

[Piglette130]

I had fewer panic attacks this weekend than last week, which is good.

I decided to leave my new job, and a big weight was lifted off my shoulders. I didn't realize how much of the anxiety was because of my discomfort in the new setting. At first my husband was angry because he thought I was just running away from something just because it was unfamiliar. But we had a long talk, and I'm very lucky that he's been so wonderfully understanding. I've recently had kind of a realization that I don't really want to do what I went to college for. I was terrified that my parents would be angry about the money spent. After talking with everyone though, I realized there are LOTS of things I can do with my degree. You know, it's sad to say, but if I had a million dollars, I think I'd have a lot fewer panic attacks. That's probably true for others too.

On another note:
Does anyone seem to find that a certain time of day is hardest for them?

My anxiety is worst in the very early morning. From about 4-6 I wake up with a panic attack almost every day. I do have Ativan for attacks, and I was thinking I may try setting my alarm for 2 or 3 to take .5 mg then go back to sleep. I do happen to be one of the lucky ones who sleeps through the night well. It's got to be hard for those of you who don't.

Anyway- Be well everyone.

[Stones]

Great to hear that your attacks have subsided this weekend. Question, did your new symptoms start when you started this new job? If so, it’s positive that you have recognized what is triggering your attacks, or one of your triggers. Myself, I own a few. It is also great that your husband is being supportive. I know that it must be hard for someone who does not understand anxiety & panic attacks to be sympathetic to what you are going through.

You ask about hard times of the day. The mornings for me are also a vulnerable time as well. The difference is that when I wake, thoughts just race through my mind which could spur and attack if I allow it to. My attacks have also happened in the afternoons & evenings so it’s tough to say that they always happen in the morning. What I have learned is to try and recognize why this is happening to you in the mornings or at any time and more importantly what are you thinking about at that moment. Once you find this out you may be able to confront the cause. You will then have your trigger which you can now address properly & face the fear.

If you are into some self education on this stuff I just finished the book “From Panic to Power” by Lucinda Bassett. Interesting read and may help you put a few things in order. It opened my eyes to a few.

Always here,

Stones ;)

Hey guys,

This might come off as stupid, but do you both 100% avoid caffeine (no chocolate, coffee, caffeinated tea, pop, etc.)? (why stupid) Because telling someone with anxiety to avoid caffeine, is like someone who is tall, being asked if they play/ed basketball. :)

I've noticed that since I totally avoid caffeine (and junk food), that i don't have anxiety attacks anymore. Yes, i still get anxiety, but it's much more manageable when i don't have the actually intense attacks.

Also exercising as much as possible can help reduce anxiety. Also meditation, getting some sun, etc.

I also take some supplements that also seem to help:

Vitamin C 500mg
Vitamin B Complex 25mg
Omega 3 1000g - 5000g
Vitamin D 500mg-1000mg (depending on the amount of sun you get)
GABA 300mg (you can take just before bed, and sometimes it can help ward off morning anxiety.

I'm also not on any medications.

Maybe you guys have some other things that tend to help?

Thanks!





















:D

[Stones]

Temmu,

Thanks for the suggestions, nothing is at all stupid. Speaking for myself I avoid caffeine regularly. Honestly, I do grab a cup of decaf once in a while. The exercise thing which I swear by I do daily along with some yoga has definitely helped me with the stress/anxiety and losing a few pounds as a bonus.

What is your experience in taking that GABA? I have heard some good and bad.

Thanks.

[Piglette130]

Temmu, no ideas are stupid... sometimes I feel like I'd try anything to make the anxiety stop!!!

I recently started avoiding caffeine too. Like Stones, I drink decaf coffee when I get a craving. I noticed a few months ago that my jitters are much worse following coffee or soda, so I cut myself off. I've also noticed I sleep a little better.

Like you, I try to avoid medications when I can, but I've come to the realization that a little bit can't hurt. My doctor would not prescribe something unsafe. I've been weaning off all the tranquilizers (Ativan, Xanax) because they make me SOOOOOOO tired. Instead, I've opted for 12.5mg daily of Paxil CR, which seems to be working well over the past few days. I also recently started walking and eating healthier, so we'll see how that helps. I'm trying to cut out refined sugar.

Always good to hear from people with the same problems.

Thanks!