tripin4u03
02-26-2009, 06:26 AM
So I have anxiety and depression, so do alot of people but I also just have to tell you about coming around to it and just get it out of me because no one around me can understand as weird as it might be but I think someone on here can be the same as me ( I HOPE).
After I got engaged My fiance and I moved to Minneapolis, I thought my anxiety was bad back in Arizona man it like was 20 times worse when I moved. It got so bad I wouldnt leave the house. I tried to drink a glass of wine before leaving (but i had to drink 2 glasses to even get mail or do laundry so I didnt even bother to drive not worth it). So I went about this for 3 months until I finally was able to have my fiance make a phone call to set me up and see a psychologist. I missed the first appt because i was so scared I had a panic attack. So I had to set it up and my fiance took the day off so he could drive me. I also have panic attacks while driving so I like how he can drive me so I dont have to pull over.
After the first appt I told her all about me and what was going on with me and how i have a funny ocd (i have to have every wrinkle out of the covers and sheets its hard but I am a master at that lol) I know its funny because My fiance tells me all the time when I am waking him up and telling him to help me. She helped me make an appt with a psychiatrist for my anxiety and depression. This is where I lost it I swear.
The first appt was terrible. My mother and father are both disabled (dad and mom have ptsd from military and my dad has a lot of medical problems, also my mom is an alcoholic only drinks at night after 9 pm) Well I THOUGHT you were allowd to tell your psychiatrist about you without feeling hurt. She told me because of my parents disability they were incapable of providing me of a certain lifestyle...which is completley not true they gave me everything and anything i wanted. Then she said I must have felt very abandoned because my dad was in the army and had to leave. Second I am not in college nor can I be until I get this under control and I told her about getting married and she said "well how can you marry someone if you dont even know yourself" I do not believe that at all. Then I told her about my fiance and shes like "so he doesnt have a degree or in college either"...I felt like they were all personal attacks against me and I was shocked because she kept on going.
She gave me lexapro and clonazepam. I took them for the month testing and this is where it got weird. the clonazepam was supposed to help me sleep (even though I told her twice that it wouldnt because I had a friend give it to me) so I took it doesnt help with my anxiety maybe a tiny bit but ill still go into a panic attack, dialates my eyes till you cant see any blue, makes me spacey, i dont eat, and the worst I dont sleep and I get amazing energy (I cleaned the house and painted the bathroom did all the laundry in 2 days while starting it). I still am hyper when I take it and it doesnt help me sleep but I can stay up for days not to mention the lexapro, both of those and i was up for 2 -3 days without any sleep and when I did I only slept for 4 hours at a time ( I still do this because the medicine screwed me up). The lexapro also added depression galore to me.
I went to a folowing appt and I asked my psychologist what I should do about what she said (it left me sad and crying for awhile) so I wrote what upset me down and all my reactions to the medicine and I told her about how she made me feel and she said "oh so you dont like having people give you their opinions" my jaw dropped I looked at her and I was like is this lady kidding me. I like opinions but not when each one feels like a personal attack on me or my family. I am still in shock... well it went downhill from there. she just kept on about why I feel these certain ways blah blah. So I told her about how my reactions were to the medicine and I told her the clonazepam works for the day (it gives me energy plus allows me to leave the house) and she said your the first person I have ever had that reacts this way to that. Then she said well I will just take you off of it and then she says "i don't think you need to be on anything" . I was like this lady does not listen to me at all... and all i was thinking is Great now im going to have to go to square 1 and figure out what to do and how to help myself. I didnt think anything else would get worse but then she handed me a flier and told me about "group meetings" i could go to and I was stunned...I couldnt hold back and I told her she is an idiot. I am sorry but I have to have my fiance drive me places when I leave the house so I dont have a panic attack, like I am going to be able and go to a GROU MEETING!!! I dont know this doctor but I don't think shes cut out for this, She gave me a sample of lunestra for sleeping (didnt work wide awake like always). I called my fiances psychologist (i also talk to her and she said it doesnt sound right). I have never made a follow up appt with her because i think she is crazy!
I just want to know if anyone has gone though and psychiatrist like that and they dont listen to you or anything and judge you. And also I want to know if theres anyone out there that has the same medication reaction, since Ive been little medicine has reacted weird to me. I tried other medications but it didnt work. One doctor gave me adderal to see if it would help me sleep but that didnt even work. I stay up still for 2-3 days and sleep for only 4 hours. Does anyone have suggestions to what might work for me (majority of sleeping pills dont work either). I cant even understand why. So please feel free to write me about what you think.
I am sorry for writing so much, its not like I sleep or anything lol.
After I got engaged My fiance and I moved to Minneapolis, I thought my anxiety was bad back in Arizona man it like was 20 times worse when I moved. It got so bad I wouldnt leave the house. I tried to drink a glass of wine before leaving (but i had to drink 2 glasses to even get mail or do laundry so I didnt even bother to drive not worth it). So I went about this for 3 months until I finally was able to have my fiance make a phone call to set me up and see a psychologist. I missed the first appt because i was so scared I had a panic attack. So I had to set it up and my fiance took the day off so he could drive me. I also have panic attacks while driving so I like how he can drive me so I dont have to pull over.
After the first appt I told her all about me and what was going on with me and how i have a funny ocd (i have to have every wrinkle out of the covers and sheets its hard but I am a master at that lol) I know its funny because My fiance tells me all the time when I am waking him up and telling him to help me. She helped me make an appt with a psychiatrist for my anxiety and depression. This is where I lost it I swear.
The first appt was terrible. My mother and father are both disabled (dad and mom have ptsd from military and my dad has a lot of medical problems, also my mom is an alcoholic only drinks at night after 9 pm) Well I THOUGHT you were allowd to tell your psychiatrist about you without feeling hurt. She told me because of my parents disability they were incapable of providing me of a certain lifestyle...which is completley not true they gave me everything and anything i wanted. Then she said I must have felt very abandoned because my dad was in the army and had to leave. Second I am not in college nor can I be until I get this under control and I told her about getting married and she said "well how can you marry someone if you dont even know yourself" I do not believe that at all. Then I told her about my fiance and shes like "so he doesnt have a degree or in college either"...I felt like they were all personal attacks against me and I was shocked because she kept on going.
She gave me lexapro and clonazepam. I took them for the month testing and this is where it got weird. the clonazepam was supposed to help me sleep (even though I told her twice that it wouldnt because I had a friend give it to me) so I took it doesnt help with my anxiety maybe a tiny bit but ill still go into a panic attack, dialates my eyes till you cant see any blue, makes me spacey, i dont eat, and the worst I dont sleep and I get amazing energy (I cleaned the house and painted the bathroom did all the laundry in 2 days while starting it). I still am hyper when I take it and it doesnt help me sleep but I can stay up for days not to mention the lexapro, both of those and i was up for 2 -3 days without any sleep and when I did I only slept for 4 hours at a time ( I still do this because the medicine screwed me up). The lexapro also added depression galore to me.
I went to a folowing appt and I asked my psychologist what I should do about what she said (it left me sad and crying for awhile) so I wrote what upset me down and all my reactions to the medicine and I told her about how she made me feel and she said "oh so you dont like having people give you their opinions" my jaw dropped I looked at her and I was like is this lady kidding me. I like opinions but not when each one feels like a personal attack on me or my family. I am still in shock... well it went downhill from there. she just kept on about why I feel these certain ways blah blah. So I told her about how my reactions were to the medicine and I told her the clonazepam works for the day (it gives me energy plus allows me to leave the house) and she said your the first person I have ever had that reacts this way to that. Then she said well I will just take you off of it and then she says "i don't think you need to be on anything" . I was like this lady does not listen to me at all... and all i was thinking is Great now im going to have to go to square 1 and figure out what to do and how to help myself. I didnt think anything else would get worse but then she handed me a flier and told me about "group meetings" i could go to and I was stunned...I couldnt hold back and I told her she is an idiot. I am sorry but I have to have my fiance drive me places when I leave the house so I dont have a panic attack, like I am going to be able and go to a GROU MEETING!!! I dont know this doctor but I don't think shes cut out for this, She gave me a sample of lunestra for sleeping (didnt work wide awake like always). I called my fiances psychologist (i also talk to her and she said it doesnt sound right). I have never made a follow up appt with her because i think she is crazy!
I just want to know if anyone has gone though and psychiatrist like that and they dont listen to you or anything and judge you. And also I want to know if theres anyone out there that has the same medication reaction, since Ive been little medicine has reacted weird to me. I tried other medications but it didnt work. One doctor gave me adderal to see if it would help me sleep but that didnt even work. I stay up still for 2-3 days and sleep for only 4 hours. Does anyone have suggestions to what might work for me (majority of sleeping pills dont work either). I cant even understand why. So please feel free to write me about what you think.
I am sorry for writing so much, its not like I sleep or anything lol.