my sister once told me that I diden't say hello in the right

[help_me]

way. HOW MEAN IS THAT

[Topcat]

I think you should read this;

Being A Victim Is Always A Choice


Do you blame your past, your family, your partner, your job, your circumstances or a host of other things for your unfortunate place in life. If so then, by definition, you are choosing to identify yourself as a victim.

Now I know that being a victim feels awful but what I'm going to say next may help you reconsider making such a choice. Choice? Yes choice! That is because that's exactly what your making. Let me explain.

What is the purpose of believing yourself to be a victim? You might say that there is no purpose. It's just a fact, right? Well, please, if you will choose to read on, consider the following argument and see if it applies to you.

One purpose of identifying one's self as victim is so that:

1) One can blame someone or something else for one's situation, so that,

2) One can feel relieved of any blame or responsibility for their situation, so that,

3) One can feel better about themselves i.e. more relaxed, calmer, more self accepting, greater self worth, and greater self esteem.

So in summary:

(A) Identifying one's self as a victim helps them feel more relaxed,calmer, more self accepting, greater self worth and greater self esteem.

Now re-read statement (A) and decide for yourself whether it sounds like a rational or reasonable statement to you.

In order to help you you may wish to recall the last time you felt like a victim. You probably felt some or all of the following: hurt, anger, fear, diminished, shame, weak, powerless, helpless etc.

Now in this last description of feeling like a victim did you feel anything like: relaxed,calmer, more self accepting, greater self worth and greater self esteem? Not likely. Hence, even though you may have agreed with the logic that led to statement (A) it appears that the conclusion, statement (A) itself is not feeling true to you is it? Well that's because it isn't!

If you recognize this small fact then you may wish to acknowledge this to yourself right now. Once you've done that notice how you feel inside. If you've followed me so far you may be feeling some or all of the following: a sense of relief, more relaxed, more hopeful , stronger, more confident, lighter, more expansive, happier. and a greater sense of self worth.

[help_me]

also my brother hates the way I dress and so do his friends and Im sceard that he's going to have a go at me for it when he next see's me

[Robbed]

Here's another thing to consider. Your family can quite often be your worst enemy. This is not at all uncommon, as MANY people have/have had this problem in their lives. You are not the first and you certainly won't be the last! So my best advice is to try not to let them get you down. Because it seems like they are quite content to do so. And DEFINITELY do not base your self-esteem on what THEY think of you. Because I know all too well that a few bad words and hard feelings from people can be enough to sow a rather nasty seed that can be VERY hard to get rid of once it takes hold.

[help_me]

I just hate how they have a go at me about what I choose to wear and how I should of grown out of it by now :(