Loved ones

[giftofgrace]

I am nineteen and I have had a variety of mental health problems over the years (i know its sounds mad doesnt it? I'm only a teenager!) Part of it was because of an incident in my family. Unfortunately this left me feeling unable to talk to them and explain my feelings. As you can imagine it all got worse and pretty soon I would just ignore my family for days at a time.
It got so bad I could bare string a sentence together in front of them because I would either choked up with anger or guilt.
I met my partner about two years ago and we have sinced moved in together. I felt able to trust him from the start.Since we have met and I have mellowed slightly I have been able to confide more with my friends and my family. Which has really helped.
But I've still got anxiety problems and I'm on medication. Because we live together and we're pretty isolated from a lot of people sometimes his emotions gets so involved with the situation its hard for me to talk to him. He takes a lot of it personally now. It makes me feel like I'm treading on eggshells. I'm finding it really hard at the moment to find a way of communicating with him that won't make him feel inadequate; he always says he feels bad because he can't "fix me". Help!

[rampagerose]

I don't have the answers, but I can certainly relate. My whole life after the depression was recognized, I've had men always saying they will, "Fix me" or "Take care of me" or be the one to "Make me smile", and that's just them completely not understanding what the problem is. Then, when you get frustrated, they take it personally, as if it's their own fault they can't help you, or if you're just being stubborn, or that you hate them. Which is all not true.

It's super difficult to balance a relationship with unresolved problems. I haven't been able to do it yet. I always end up hating the other person for getting in my business.

The best you can do is explain that it isn't something that can be helped by others. It's a personal journey to get balanced health. You kinda have to be able to work out a system of "time out", when things are just so mixed up that you spend a bit of that time apart while you get your head together. The best thing another person can do to help someone with anxiety is just to say, "Okay, I don't understand, but I'll be here if you need to reach out for me."

[Topcat]

It must be hard for partners to have to deal with us anxiety sufferers, I drive myself mad so god knows what I do to my b/f, friends and family :roll:

But if you are already able to open up more that is a step forward in the right direction, your b/f will never be able to fix you but if you let him know that his support in just being there for you helps that may make him feel better about the situation.

Unless someone has experienced anxiety/panic/depression it must be very hard for them to understand.