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Ryan21
02-08-2009, 05:54 PM
I'm starting to feel like nothing helps anymore. I go to my therapist and doctor regulary due to my anxiety/depression. My doctor just switched me from lexapro 20 mg to luvox cr 150 mg on friday. He also decided to take my blood to test me for any abnormalities (hypoglycemia...possibly other things as well).
I've been feeling panicky all day long today and yesterday. It's starting to become a daily thing where everyday is a challenge for me. It is hard for me to do anything. It is like everything is an obstacle. I can't even take a shower without thinking about all the things that it requires to get up and do it. I've been dealing with anxiety and depression for about 3 years now and I don't feel any better today than I did 3 years ago.
I guess it just feels like a never ending journey to control this stupid anxiety. I have tried so many different medications and I am on my 3rd different therapist.
I just so badly want to be cured of all this and be back to my normal self.
In a weird way I almost hope that I do have hypoglycemia because atleast then I will have an explanation for why I feel so crappy all the time.
It's strange because I'm constantly thinking that something is wrong with me but then I say to myself "its just your anxiety". Its hard for me to always accept that though when there is this voice that keeps telling me I have something seriously wrong with me.
Does anyone have any advice for me?
Thank you.

Obelysk
02-09-2009, 12:16 AM
Well its a hard process as you might imagine. what has helped me is to rationalize every single one of my fears. I tell myself that yes I have a mental problem that I do have issues but it doesn't change who I am. I acknowledge it, all of its issues and side effects and than I try to completely take the focus away from it and move on with my life. For the most part it has helped me, during the past month and half I have felt almost completely normal. It hasn't gone away though (its keeping me from sleeping at this very moment that is why I am typing this) its here with me. What I have done is to try and think positively and try to do things that make me happy. Even if I feel like shit I try to do things that bring happiness to me, I don't let it dictate how I am going to live my life. I don't fight it, I live with it.

Topcat
02-09-2009, 06:31 AM
I agree with Obelysk, you must accept the way you are and to not focus on how you feel all the time if you are to move on from this.

Why take the medication if it doesnt help? When I took medication i actually felt worse for it, it was only when my body was free from the side effects (that I blamed all on anxiety) that I could actually determine what symptoms were anxiety and tackle it head on. Talking to a therapist is ok but they cant change you, only you can change you and its a challenge but definately one worth taking :)

If you dwell too much on how you feel and let it drag you down then thats what it will do, it is only when you truely decide that enough is enough that you can fight back and start to gain some control.

I used to dread waking each morning, looking for symptoms of illness, scared to leave the house, no energy to do anything until I suddenly decided enough was enough and I would not spend my entire life living like that. Of course I still have bad days but now they are few and far between now.

angel_112
02-09-2009, 08:16 PM
hi ryan,

i feel the exact same way as you. I have actually missed work for a week and a half now because I'm scared to even walk to work (it's about an hour's ride to work and another 15 min walk to parking lot). I know when i say this it sounds really dumb but I am seriously scared of that. I also get scared taking a shower too because i feel lightheaded when i do. Also, when I eat, and feel full, i feel very anxious.

I don't know why we have these kinds of things, and especially when i get sick or when i have a cold, i cry because i feel so scared.

I want to live normally, i want to be happy and not fearful. I hope you know that you are not alone and we can all be here for each other as we struggle through this.

danstelter
02-10-2009, 12:43 PM
Why take the medication if it doesnt help? When I took medication i actually felt worse for it, it was only when my body was free from the side effects (that I blamed all on anxiety) that I could actually determine what symptoms were anxiety and tackle it head on. Talking to a therapist is ok but they cant change you, only you can change you and its a challenge but definately one worth taking :)


This is spot on. If medication does not help, don't take it. It might be responsible for the symptoms you are experiencing as well.

And yes, only you can change you. People that feel seriously flawed, like you, have low self-esteem. A great way to increase self-esteem, which will eliminate these feelings of worthlessness, is to get out into the real world and find what it is that you do well. Find ANYTHING!

Volunteer for after-school reading programs, at the human society, or wherever it is that you would enjoy volunteering (even just a couple hours per week is greatly appreciated). Find some fun hobbies like sports, art, or whatever is that you enjoy. Spend your free time developing your skills in the areas that interest you and you will soon realize that you have many different talents! Once you realize what you are able to do, your self-esteem will increase. If something doesn't work out, do something else. Everyone has gifts that are useful. If you think you have nothing, you haven't looked hard enough.

Good luck and work hard at it!

giftofgrace
02-11-2009, 02:00 PM
I used to get really bad attacks about my hair falling out and i would get so panicky about getting rid of them. I used to think if I did actually think about too much it would actually happen! Then i can't remember where I got it from but someone told me half the problem was coming from actually trying to fight the feelings. She said accept it and move on. So next time it happened I just lay there while that horrible feelings srpead over me. It was excrutiating at first but it did work in the end!
Don't give up!

aqil1000
02-17-2009, 12:51 AM
I used to get really bad attacks about my hair falling out and i would get so panicky about getting rid of them. I used to think if I did actually think about too much it would actually happen! Then i can't remember where I got it from but someone told me half the problem was coming from actually trying to fight the feelings. She said accept it and move on. So next time it happened I just lay there while that horrible feelings srpead over me. It was excrutiating at first but it did work in the end!
Don't give up!

yeah, thats the spirit! for me, if i get reeled up on occasions, i'd just go for a jog and run myself tired and my problems would go away! :lol:

Its a mental itch not worth scratching 8)

aqil1000
02-17-2009, 01:01 AM
I'm starting to feel like nothing helps anymore. I go to my therapist and doctor regulary due to my anxiety/depression. My doctor just switched me from lexapro 20 mg to luvox cr 150 mg on friday. He also decided to take my blood to test me for any abnormalities (hypoglycemia...possibly other things as well).
I've been feeling panicky all day long today and yesterday. It's starting to become a daily thing where everyday is a challenge for me. It is hard for me to do anything. It is like everything is an obstacle. I can't even take a shower without thinking about all the things that it requires to get up and do it. I've been dealing with anxiety and depression for about 3 years now and I don't feel any better today than I did 3 years ago.
I guess it just feels like a never ending journey to control this stupid anxiety. I have tried so many different medications and I am on my 3rd different therapist.
I just so badly want to be cured of all this and be back to my normal self.
In a weird way I almost hope that I do have hypoglycemia because atleast then I will have an explanation for why I feel so crappy all the time.
It's strange because I'm constantly thinking that something is wrong with me but then I say to myself "its just your anxiety". Its hard for me to always accept that though when there is this voice that keeps telling me I have something seriously wrong with me.
Does anyone have any advice for me?
Thank you.

Hey Ryan,perhaps one thing you could do for yourself is not to be dependent on something else(your medication) to solve your situation.what you really need is to understand that you very much dictate how you feel. You're in control of your body.

Your subconscious mind is spawning all these worries.You gotta put a stop to that dude.

what you really need is a shift in mindset in how you interprete your body reactions to the fear that you have. The constant fear that you have aggravates your condition, not until you have removed the FEAR itself.and for that, you gotta start conditioning your mind..

there are self-help books in the market..do check the net for some tips to manage your anxiety.

Robbed
02-17-2009, 02:28 AM
There is one thing you have to remember about acceptance: it can't be turned on like a light switch. It just doesn't work this way. True acceptance takes time, practice, and patience. And this is one thing that SO many therapists, self-help books, etc fail to mention. So people tend to feel that if they cannot accept anxiety disorder and all of its symptoms right off the bat, it's just not going to happen. This is perhaps a bigger cause of failure than anything else. So when you start to feel disturbing symptoms of anxiety, do your best to try to accept that it is only anxiety disorder, that the symptoms are basically harmless, and that they will abate as you recover from anxiety - even if you can only do so a little bit. Because over time, every bit counts.

Ryan21
02-17-2009, 03:40 PM
Thank you all for your replies. I think that sometimes it really helps when I'm feeling down to get on here and read what you have written. I'm trying to learn to accept my anxiety and if it means having to do things like belong to this online forum then so be it. Just writing out what is on your mind to people just like you can almost act as an instant relief.

One question I do have is about suicide. I don't consider myself to be suicidal or anything like that but sometimes the thought might cross my mind for a split second. Don't get wrong I love life and I don't want to die but sometimes it just pops into my head... I think sometimes its because how much you hear about anxiety and depression causing suicide. So then I think to myself oh my gosh what if I freak out and drive my car into a telephone poll or somehow lose control and do it. Or I will read about side effects of meds that I'm on and one of them will be suicide. So I'm like oh crap I don't want to do that.
I guess my question is do you think that makes me legitimately suicidal or is it just my anxiety playing tricks on me?