Leaving home

[lembo]

Hi I am a 29 year old women. I am an anxious person who lacks selft esteem and confidence due to parents being over protective and questioning everything I do.

When I was 21 I met a guy who was 33 - my dad went mad and told me I had to finish with him or move out. I have always wanted to try nursing but was told that it wasnt the right thing for me.

My dad has had a control over me even worse since losing my mum; I iron, clean up after tea etc and give up my plans with my fiance to clean for my father all just to keep the peace.

I've been with my fiance for 4 1/2 years now and I love him to bits. We have been looking at houses for the past year and none have proven to be the right one. For the last 4 1/2 years my partner has been made to sleep on the couch when he stays at mine, when I am at his parents we are allowed to share a bed.

Because this situation cannot carry on any longer and is making us both miserable we have now decided to rent for 6 months. I'm really worried that I won't be able to make the move out and whether me and my fiance will be able to live together.

I have not been happy in any job that I've had and feel that I could do better, the only reason I end up in these jobs is because my father tells me I should apply for them. Every thing I do I worry what my father would think, its really driving me mad.

Thank you
Sarah

[Topcat]

You are a grown woman and your dad sounds like a control freak, move on and enjoy life with your very understanding fiance. I am sure you will be better away from your dad and you will wonder why you didnt do it years ago when someone is manipulative it really makes you doubt your self worth and knock your confidence.

I know its hard and you will probably feel guilty but you deserve happiness too and there is nothing stopping you still seeing your dad and helping out when you can.

Hope it all goes well
:)

[Robbed]

I'm really worried that I won't be able to make the move out and whether me and my fiance will be able to live together.

Ask yourself this one question: Could things possibly be any worse than they are now if you move out with your fiance?

[Vicki]

I think your Dad is causing you a lot of problems because it's in his best interests to keep you miserable and at home! He might not be doing it to be mean, he might even be terrified of being alone himself and is scared he's going to lose you!

Move out... you'll be fine! Tell your Dad honestly that you have to go live your own life but you'll be there for him as much as you can. In time he'll hopefully come around but if he doesn't then you got out before you spent another 30 years being treated harshly by him.