Is this Social Anxiety?

[12345]

I really have a problem about how people view me. One reason may be that I'm gay, but that hardly makes me uncomfortable. What really gets me is just how I'm viewed personality-wise. Example:

I don't have much money, but my roommates have always let me drink anyway. Recently, though, a few things happened that made me feel really uncomfortable:

1. I was asked to throw down money for beer and I could only produce a dollar in change. My roommate then said, "What is this? We just won't have a party this week, it's cool." = humiliation

2. I hadn't paid for beer at all, but thought my roommate wouldn't mind if I made a Kahlua, as he was making one for another roommate right across from me. When I tried to do it, he took it from me and told me that I shouldn't try to do that before asking, and especially if I hadn't ever paid for beer before. In that situation, I felt so awkward around him that I felt afraid to ask, and felt I'd feel even more humiliated for asking. Afterwards, I went in my room and didn't come down for the rest of the day, charting out bad aspects of my personality and how to stop being a moocher, after much research.

I constantly feel like I'm causing everyone around me to feel uncomfortable, and I feel awkward around other people. I want to be my roommates' friends, but I feel like they talk about me secretly behind my back.

I constantly have this feeling that people always perceive me as less-than or just annoying or unpleasant to be around, even though they invite me down to beer pong, etc. despite my lack of money—I feel that they're doing it to discreetly humiliate me even more, in order to make fun of me later when they're by themselves.

I'm really worried about myself. I don't feel like I want to do anything violent or harmful, etc. to them or myself, but I just have this constant feeling, in addition to worry, fear, inhibition and just general awkwardness and indecisiveness about even the smallest physical movements (note, I've been off of Xanax for 2 months, for inability/inhibition to find a psychiatrist).

What to do? Is this social anxiety or schizophrenia?

[danstelter]

This is kind of interesting. Some parts you say like the awkwardness, thinking about your movements, and the indecisiveness around others sound like social anxiety.

But then this constant obsessing about what other people are thinking of you doesn't seem to cause you worry (if I am reading this right). It sounds like you might have some paranoia, but I don't see anything that would suggest you are schizophrenic...

What makes you think that you are schizophrenic? What kinds of physical symptoms do you experience when feeling awkward/indecisive around others?

[FunPie]

Social anxiety is a bit of an anomoly compared to most anxiety disorders, since the cause is typically reduced dopamine availability, while most anxiety disorders (and major depression, bipolar, schizophrenia) are caused by increased dopamine. http://ajp.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/con ... 60/10/1836 (http://ajp.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/content/full/160/10/1836)
http://focus.hms.harvard.edu/2005/Sep2_ ... logy.shtml (http://focus.hms.harvard.edu/2005/Sep2_2005/pathology.shtml)
http://panicdisorder.about.com/od/cause ... TStudy.htm (http://panicdisorder.about.com/od/causes/a/COMTStudy.htm)

Ironically, dopamine causes happy feelings in most people, but too much can lead to depression. This is the reason why dopamine enhancers used to treat depression have failed, because they are simply raising their already high dopamine levels. Ironically, social anxiety, caused by lower dopamine, can also lead to major depression, but the average person with depression have elvated dopamine levels. This shows that two opposite sources can cause the same symptoms. THis is why it is vital that you see a health care provider, to pinpoint the cause.

This is why you hear of comorbid Panic disorder and Bipolar, but rarely comorbid Bipolar and Social Phobia. So, it is unlikely that you have both, since they stem from different sources, but you sound like you have something, but I don't think it is social phobia or schizophrenia. (If I were to pick from one of the two I would definitely pick Social phobia, I don't see any signs of schizophrenia) Paranoid thoughts can be caused by increased dopamine.

[joey9]

Nothing that you have said sounds like schizophrenia, so unless you are experiencing other symptoms that you haven't mentioned then it doesn't sound likely. It does sound a lot like social phobia though. And the problem with social phobia is that it is, unfortunately, a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you are constantly worried about what other people think about you, your behaviour will change because you are monitoring it so closely. You feel awkward and that feeling will show, and it's entirely possible that you will make others feel awkward too and they will react accordingly. It's not really your behaviour that is the ultimate problem here - it's your feelings about those behaviours. But the more you think about how you are behaving, the more monitored and unnatural your behaviour will become, and the more awkward people will feel around you. There are ways to overcome it, CBT being probably the most effective. You need to train yourself not to be so introspective, and also not to care as much about being judged (although I know this is easier said than done). There are plenty of books out there that focus on overcoming this and its very possible. I used to be very socially phobic but I'm pretty much fine now. You could also work on your general health as this will help to be less susceptible to anxious feelings which will make social phobia worse.