Topcat
01-18-2009, 08:29 AM
Hi, this is my story I will try to keep it short otherwise there is a chance you may fall asleep :oops:
I have suffered from anixety and panic attacks since I was 4 years old, school phobia and a phobia of vomiting followed me through childhood, I did have several years here and there of living with no panic once I hit my teens and early 20s but 13 years ago just after I had my first baby my mum was diagnosed with cancer and my dad died out of the blue aged just 51, I spiralled out of control with excessive panic attacks, agoraphobia, claustrophobia and an intense fear of illness and death. My mum died 18 months later (she was also 51) and I became a total nervous wreck.
However, the days and weeks went by and eventually I became stronger, I now have two children but the anxiety has never fully gone away and I have accepted the fact that I may now have to live like this forever, I have tried medication, counselling, self help books, hypnosis and last year had a 12 week course of CBT.
I find it hard to travel (so holidays are rare and traumatic and always result in weight loss!!) I dont like to eat out anywhere as I am scared of being poisioned, I am obsessed by germs and get through tons of soap :| any change to my daily routine will bring on an anxiety attack even watching my children doing a school play makes me so nervous. I do work although I often feel anxious before work an have IBS which makes me more anxious, I can never make plans as I will worry as soon as they are made and I would never commit myself to giving anyone a lift anywhere as chances are I wll let them down! If a I have to attend a social event I get so anxious about the journey to get to it that most the time I make an excuse not to go.
My worst symptom is nausea and I tend to gag quite easily, so I feel sick and I become anxious, or do i feel anxious which makes me feel sick its like the chicken an egg story either way as soon as that nausea starts I become a nervous wreck.
Anyway I said it would be short and it is becoming a bit long now :rolleyes: I suddenly had this idea a couple of days ago that I should try an find a forum where I could to chat to people who understand my irrational thoughts and I found this one :D
I have suffered from anixety and panic attacks since I was 4 years old, school phobia and a phobia of vomiting followed me through childhood, I did have several years here and there of living with no panic once I hit my teens and early 20s but 13 years ago just after I had my first baby my mum was diagnosed with cancer and my dad died out of the blue aged just 51, I spiralled out of control with excessive panic attacks, agoraphobia, claustrophobia and an intense fear of illness and death. My mum died 18 months later (she was also 51) and I became a total nervous wreck.
However, the days and weeks went by and eventually I became stronger, I now have two children but the anxiety has never fully gone away and I have accepted the fact that I may now have to live like this forever, I have tried medication, counselling, self help books, hypnosis and last year had a 12 week course of CBT.
I find it hard to travel (so holidays are rare and traumatic and always result in weight loss!!) I dont like to eat out anywhere as I am scared of being poisioned, I am obsessed by germs and get through tons of soap :| any change to my daily routine will bring on an anxiety attack even watching my children doing a school play makes me so nervous. I do work although I often feel anxious before work an have IBS which makes me more anxious, I can never make plans as I will worry as soon as they are made and I would never commit myself to giving anyone a lift anywhere as chances are I wll let them down! If a I have to attend a social event I get so anxious about the journey to get to it that most the time I make an excuse not to go.
My worst symptom is nausea and I tend to gag quite easily, so I feel sick and I become anxious, or do i feel anxious which makes me feel sick its like the chicken an egg story either way as soon as that nausea starts I become a nervous wreck.
Anyway I said it would be short and it is becoming a bit long now :rolleyes: I suddenly had this idea a couple of days ago that I should try an find a forum where I could to chat to people who understand my irrational thoughts and I found this one :D