kevin
01-25-2006, 04:24 AM
Hi, my name is Kevin.
Basically I'm just here because I'm trying to figure out how to get rid of my anxiety. I will give you the low-down:
I was a heavy Marijuana user for about 5 years, when suddenly if I smoked the amount of dope I normally would I would start having extreme anxiety (felt scared, paranoid, and felt weak and defenseless). It got worse, I didn't stop smoking pot, and while high I began having "panic attacks", where I would think I was having a heart attack, dying, that nothing was/is real, and I thought "what would happen if I (insert worse possible thing to do in the particular situation, such as drive my truck off a bridge)". I also started dwelling on death, asking the questions for which there are no known answers, which gave me even more fears, anxiety, and depression. After smoking pot, I would also find the need to hurt myself just so I could feel pain, and pain would make me feel "real" in a sense. I would also try to make myself vomit, as vomiting also had this effect of "realism" and would take my mind off of my anxiety/panic attacks long enough for me to be able to breath for a few moments.
So anyways, I stopped smoking pot, but I found even while sober I began feeling dizzy and have a false sense of reality (even to this date I still do). The attacks were getting worse and worse until I did some reading on the internet and realized that I have a problem, an anxiety and panic disorder problem. So far the only things that help are if I watch something I find funny, or I fill my head with so many thoughts I can't possibly think about my disorder therefore avoiding another panic attack. Sometimes the attacks come out of the blue, and I can't control them and I feel like I'm going to die, I think about death, I feel like I'm having a heart attack and I can't breath and I have no idea how I'm breathing or how I control my bodily functions which sends me even deeper into a panic attack.
I've gone to the hospital and got medication; Zoloft (which I should be taking regularly, and I haven't even taken 1 pill of it because I'm afraid to) and Lorazepam (which I've only taken a few times before, because I find it makes my chest/heart feel weird, and doesn't really help that much). So I have stopped taking the medications, the only things I find that help are heavy drinking (when I'm drunk I NEVER have panic attacks, and very little anxiety) and when I'm laughing at something or something grabs my complete attention. Music also helps my anxiety while I'm listening to it loud.
Now I read that computers can be a large contributor to anxiety and whatnot, so I'm going to try and stay away from my computer/TV for a while, and if I notice it's making a big difference I may be doing further research into this. I've already read several threads in this forum, but if anyone here identifies with the problems I'm having and can suggest a solution or a "cure" then PLEASE HELP ME. I AM SICK OF LIVING THIS WAY AND I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH LONGER I CAN TAKE IT!
Thank you for your time,
-Kevin
Basically I'm just here because I'm trying to figure out how to get rid of my anxiety. I will give you the low-down:
I was a heavy Marijuana user for about 5 years, when suddenly if I smoked the amount of dope I normally would I would start having extreme anxiety (felt scared, paranoid, and felt weak and defenseless). It got worse, I didn't stop smoking pot, and while high I began having "panic attacks", where I would think I was having a heart attack, dying, that nothing was/is real, and I thought "what would happen if I (insert worse possible thing to do in the particular situation, such as drive my truck off a bridge)". I also started dwelling on death, asking the questions for which there are no known answers, which gave me even more fears, anxiety, and depression. After smoking pot, I would also find the need to hurt myself just so I could feel pain, and pain would make me feel "real" in a sense. I would also try to make myself vomit, as vomiting also had this effect of "realism" and would take my mind off of my anxiety/panic attacks long enough for me to be able to breath for a few moments.
So anyways, I stopped smoking pot, but I found even while sober I began feeling dizzy and have a false sense of reality (even to this date I still do). The attacks were getting worse and worse until I did some reading on the internet and realized that I have a problem, an anxiety and panic disorder problem. So far the only things that help are if I watch something I find funny, or I fill my head with so many thoughts I can't possibly think about my disorder therefore avoiding another panic attack. Sometimes the attacks come out of the blue, and I can't control them and I feel like I'm going to die, I think about death, I feel like I'm having a heart attack and I can't breath and I have no idea how I'm breathing or how I control my bodily functions which sends me even deeper into a panic attack.
I've gone to the hospital and got medication; Zoloft (which I should be taking regularly, and I haven't even taken 1 pill of it because I'm afraid to) and Lorazepam (which I've only taken a few times before, because I find it makes my chest/heart feel weird, and doesn't really help that much). So I have stopped taking the medications, the only things I find that help are heavy drinking (when I'm drunk I NEVER have panic attacks, and very little anxiety) and when I'm laughing at something or something grabs my complete attention. Music also helps my anxiety while I'm listening to it loud.
Now I read that computers can be a large contributor to anxiety and whatnot, so I'm going to try and stay away from my computer/TV for a while, and if I notice it's making a big difference I may be doing further research into this. I've already read several threads in this forum, but if anyone here identifies with the problems I'm having and can suggest a solution or a "cure" then PLEASE HELP ME. I AM SICK OF LIVING THIS WAY AND I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH LONGER I CAN TAKE IT!
Thank you for your time,
-Kevin