changing negative thought patterns

[elgrande]

I beginning to think that an important factor in helping this condition is the way we think about things, in particular controlling negative thoughts. This as first seems to be a very difficult task afterall our thoughts often seem to occur spontaneously. I think anxiety sufferers have a tendency to look for the negative in everything which as we know is an unhealthy mindset to have. How has this happened and is this way of thinking contributing to the way we feel? I suspect at the point our anxiety was triggered (for whatever reason particular to that person) our minds in their anxious states began to latch on to negativity which then leads to a destructive cycle of "what if's". As we get older and our life experiences both good and bad increase then it seems apparent that our exposure to the negative aspects will increase. This then fuels the negativity and pessimism. Perhaps its not possible to stop the initial negative thoughts happening but rather than leave them stay unchanged we should deal with it immediately and try to change it. In other words accept that negative thoughts will happen but its how we actually deal with them that matters. Its an idea I'm slowly coming around to and in that last few days I've been trying it out. When a negative thoughts pops into my head I stop for a second and try to take a positive view instead. Its not easy to do but with practice I feel I'm getting better at it.

[Evilbob333]

I think what you're saying is pretty bang on, although i think the distinction is that EVERYONE gets negative thoughts. I find that the distinguishing point between a healthy emotional/mental state and an unhealthy one is the amount of time spent ruminating on the negative thoughts....i.e. you have a what if thought and then you spend the next however long getting worked up over, making up a more and more catastrophic story in your mind which brings wave upon wave of panic. An emotionally healthy mind would have the same thought but would dismiss it or not spend time ruminating on it.
I think the real key is to allow yourself to have the initial negative thought but dont let yourself carry it any further than that...it does take a lot of practice but can be achieved with effort! I think the hardest thing is to be 'aware' that you're allowing yourself to think these things.
And whilst we're on the subject of thoughts and rumination i think that its worth mentioning reassurance seeking, where we constantly ask those around us to pacify us and make us feel ok...even posting on this forum 'Is this normal?'. Whilst i fully appreciate why we do this (cos we're fully bricking it!) it encourages to ruminate and dwell on the thoughts that cause us fear.
My honest advice in recovering from these conditions is to just get into it...get out there, talk to people, integrate, interact, be busy. I know its not as easy as that but just three short months ago i hadn't left my mums house for three weeks, hadnt been to work for a month, hadnt gone on a thousand pound holiday, had lost my fiance...all because of fear. Now i'm doing so much more, back at work, going on holiday tomorrow with my new girlfriend, driving on motorways again. There is no magic cure and no magic pill...its just a matter of waking up everyday and saying 'No matter how afraid, no mattr how difficult, no matter how uncertain...I am doing what I want to do'.
Put simply;
Face
Everything
And
Recover

Hope this makes sense...i went into rant mode!

[elgrande]

A lot of people are not aware of their own negative thinking, they sort of think negatively and feel bad about themselves, but don't really realise what they are doing. Negative thinking is basically self-talk, but the negative kind, and we tend to believe what we tell ourselves, so if I look in the mirror each morning and think 'I am ugly' then I will believe I am ugly, if I tell myself over and over again each time I feel anxious or nervous that I am a failure, I will believe that I am a failure, no good, can never be successful or happy. Apparently about 70% of our self-talk is negative - which sort of explains why there are so many depressed people around with poor self-image and self-esteem ... but the important thing for us to realise is that we can change the way we think and talk to ourselves, and that will have a direct influence on the way that we perceive ourselves and the way that we feel. The way to do that is by consciously replacing the negative self-talk with positive self-talk, for instance by using affirmations (short positive messages).

[docajr]

I agree with what you have to say about the influence of negative self talk. I recently spoke to a group of teens and the common theme I picked up on, especially in those battling poor self image was a prevalence of negative thinking; that is focusing in on the negative of everything around them from their parents, to their school, to the things they don't like about themselves.

One of the concepts I hit on with this group of young adults is appropo to any group and it is this:

You don't defeat negative thoughts with positive thoughts. You defeat negative thinking with positive (spoken) words.

It is not enough to just think something good; in this case the one or two positive ideas are drowned by the mulittude of negatives cascading in the mind. Once you include the spoken word, however, the ears and mind become engaged and the effect is magnified.

This is one of the topics I discuss in my book Shake Off The Snake, and on the daily inspiration site listed below.

[kevinpanic77]

I beginning to think that an important factor in helping this condition is the way we think about things, in particular controlling negative thoughts. This as first seems to be a very difficult task afterall our thoughts often seem to occur spontaneously. I think anxiety sufferers have a tendency to look for the negative in everything which as we know is an unhealthy mindset to have. How has this happened and is this way of thinking contributing to the way we feel? I suspect at the point our anxiety was triggered (for whatever reason particular to that person) our minds in their anxious states began to latch on to negativity which then leads to a destructive cycle of "what if's". As we get older and our life experiences both good and bad increase then it seems apparent that our exposure to the negative aspects will increase. This then fuels the negativity and pessimism. Perhaps its not possible to stop the initial negative thoughts happening but rather than leave them stay unchanged we should deal with it immediately and try to change it. In other words accept that negative thoughts will happen but its how we actually deal with them that matters. Its an idea I'm slowly coming around to and in that last few days I've been trying it out. When a negative thoughts pops into my head I stop for a second and try to take a positive view instead. Its not easy to do but with practice I feel I'm getting better at it.

I totally agree! Check out my blog, I just wrote an article on automatic negative thoughts, and a "what if" article today which I think will help you and others.