Have How To Be A Good Conversationalist Books Helped You?

[MainerMikeBrown]

As I'm sure you know, their's been lots of books written where authors of those books try to help readers with shyness/social anxieties become better conversationalists.

Have you read any of these books? And if so, did you find it to be helpful?

A few years ago, I read a book where the author believed that it was okay to start a conversation with someone by talking about the weather because just about everyone knows what the weather has been like that day. I'd have to agree with that.

However, the author went on to write that it's bad to talk about yourself much while you're talking with another. Rather, you should talk about the person you're chatting with a lot more because they don't care about you. Instead, they like talking about themselves, as they're interested in themselves more.

I disagree. If you only talk about the other person all the time and if you ask the person a lot of questions about them, after a while, they're going to think you're being too nosy, I believe.

Also, if you feel very uncomfortable chatting with others, I think it takes a lot more than reading a book about how to get better at being a conversationalist to actually get better at feeling comfortable while conversing with others.

What do you think?

[MainerMikeBrown]

To me, it's rather unpleasant when you're trying real hard to talk to someone and you can't think of anything to say to them, and they don't talk to you much either.

[domainer]

For conversation you have to be patience.

[MainerMikeBrown]

Becoming calm around others (if you have that problem) and being a good conversationalist doesn't happen overnight.

So you're right, Domainer, patience matters.

[IAmCamille]

It's true. It takes a lot of patience. And also, gestures and facial expressions make a lot of difference when you are in a conversation.