I have anxiety and just need to talk to someone

[Kerry]

Hi I am 16 years old and I am suffering from anxiety. I have anxiety of people, I can't stand to walk the streets on my own, were as I'm fine when I'm with people I know. I feel more comftable and relaxed when I'm walking with someone I know. I tend to walk really fast and am very cautious and aware of people. I panic when people look at me I sometimes feel when they look at me they can see right through me and know everything about me and once I jumped when someone was running past me. It's as if I feel someone's going to hurt me. I haven't told anyone like my family because I always keep myself to myself I never tell anyone how I'm feeling. I'm a very private person and I don't like letting anyone in because I don't want anyone to see whats inside my head. I'm just afraid of what people may think, I seem to think they will laugh at me. I keep myself gaurded that way I can protect myself. I don't really know whats the cause of it. For years my mum was mentally abusing me and maybe thats why I'm afraid. Sometimes I find it hard to deal with my emotions and I'm also very depressed and unhappy which links to my anxiety but my depression is caused by alot of things, my past and my lonliness. I have a phobia of people, a social anxiety of daily situations. Sometimes it's not that bad but other times I can really feel it in me. I'm a very shy and quiet girl but I can tell it's more than that. I know phychologicly it's in my head. I have a fear of daily life and sometimes feel I will never get through life. When I'm walking the streets I tend to look down at my feet and sometimes I loose my breath it's hard to explain but it's like I can't breathe properly I seem to hold my breathe. I'm dealing with it on my own I don't want to see anyone about it. I know as scary as it is I have to push myself and face my fears and I will overcome this. I have no one to talk to and I just want to talk to someone which is why I have decided to express my feeling on here.

[shoe]

kerry, I have experienced many of the problems you speak of, and know how hard it is to deal with it all and keep going on. Welcome to the board btw :)

I really do think its a good idea to see a therapist, even if you feel like facing it on your own. Its nice to have someone in your corner rooting for you and trying to help you overcome things. (we can at least do the rooting for ya ;) )

There are books and supplements and things you could take to help you try to tackle things on your own, but alot of the time I think its best to have someone - even a friend - help you work through things. A few books I read seem to even assume that everyone has someone they confide in and trust completely, but thats not always the case (as with me). And if I need to have the support of this nonexistant person I sure as heck am not gonna be able to work through the suggestions they have of using that person as support and partial therapy. Which is why having a therapist would at least be a start.. for me at least. But if you have someone you trust and confide in, that too could be a start. The people on this board are very supportive too so that could also be a little help in your corner :)

[scatmantom]

yep i can relate to that

nice to see an essex girl on here, i used to live in barking a few years ago and i went to school in dagenham..but i live miles from there now!

i think you should tell ur family about it, and possibly ask to see a doctor, its scary the 1st time but its worth sorting out while u are still so young and have so much time to get better

good luck!

[Littlebobo]

Hi Kerry,

I can relate to your problems completley, I used to run everywhere when i was out alone becuase i was scared i was being followed by some one, feeling my heart pounding through my chest every time i stepped out the house also meant that i found myself avoiding going out completley, I have avoided telling myself i had/have a problem for years although i knew i did - i had thought that i was insane or going mad but I just recently visited my doctor which has taken me a very long time to do but I feel so much better since. You have made the first step coming to a place like this to open up to someone. I know things are hard for you at the moment you are also going through your teenage years which are also sooo confusing, I think you should go to your doctor this condition is not uncommon and they will be able to help you and get you on track and feeling a whole lot better in your head.

I would love to hear how you get on, I am rooting for you !..Lisa xx