Anxiety controlling/ruining my life?

[noonanjs]

I'm Jaclyn 23/ engaged living at home and starting training to be a probation officer on monday.
I am a self proclaimed golden child and extremely hard on myself.
I have been having debilitating anxiety for months now and I keep feeling like my fiance is going to leave me because it's too much. I am on xanax and buspar. (paxil, neurontin, lexapro, ect all did not work). Went to the hospital last night because I thought I was having an asthma attack. I can't handle the physical symptoms that are real but I know I am creating them. My biggest fear is dying and my most common symptoms are tight chest/choking sensation. I have a degree, good family, gorgeous fiance, brand new job and yet here I am with no where to turn. No specialist in the area. I am SICK of psychiatrists. SICK of being a guine pig.
Tingling fingers
tight chest
sweating
clenching jaw
chest pain
weird tingle on left side of chest
feel like can't get full breath.
I want to breathe again. I want to laugh and not live on a moment waiting for the next strange feeling in my body to set off a chain reaction of symptoms. I want to enjoy my life and stop living in fear. I want to LIVE! I want to let go and not worry every second of my life. I feel like everyone around me has their fingers crossed waiting for the day I am okay, for a full day, for once. I just want to breathe and not think about breathing!
Jaclyn

[ali8385]

Oh my goodness! What you are going through sounds very similar to me...I am 23, engaged, however live with my fiance, have a good job, lots of friends, am an absolute perfectionist when it comes to myself. I ahve the most awful health anxiety and OCD. Have had CBT, psychiartry etc. The health anxiety at the moment is worst, I can't go a day, wondering what the ache in my back is and have have heartburn feeling a lot too. I have also had the tight throat, cough etc. and never go a day without worrying why and what it is. I listen to every tiny thing - ache or pain, rumble etc. that my body does and just have constant anxiety. I just want a day without this...I was in control of it but over the last 3 months I have been bad again...and just want to enjoy life without worrying! Happy to chat if you are ever online. There must be a way through this!