School and Anxiety!

[crxman321]

Hi Everyone I'm a Senior in HighSchool in wonderful Ohio. I've been Dealing with my Servere Anxiety as I like to say since I was really Little and so far nothing has seemed to Help. Effexor xr, Zoloft, Paxil, the List goes on None of them Helped Me. After having Several diff. Doctors and still not getting anywhere it wears on You after a while. School for Me has always always ALWAYS been a Terrible Terrible Experience. Sigh... My recent Doctor said I've been put on the Wrong Meds all this time and what I need is a anxiolytic just for Anxiety I guess it wont Hurt to Try it. Are 2nd Semester Started Today and I have a new Teacher who always calls on Me to Read infront of Everyone and I'm nervous before hand b/c I'm wondering if She's gonna call on me or not lol. So when She does My Heart Beats that much Faster and I freak out. All Last Night I couldnt Sleep at all My Heart was Pounding and it woudnt Stop so I went to School Super Tired and Super Super Nervous. I couldnt even sit Still and Everyone else looks at Me like I'm a piece of Shit or something. Walking out to the Pop Machine after My Class infront of Everyone is scary to Me. I feel like Everyone's Eyes are on Me and there Thinking something Bad about Me. I't just really SUCKS... I told my Teachers about my Anxiety but they Still want Me to get up infront of Everyone and do Presentations and I'm Sorry but thats something I dont need right now. Talking infront of Everyone Sitting down is Hard enough I was looking for some kind of Help But it's never what I need to make a Healthy Difference :cry: They always say Your just using this as a Crutch....... What are You gonna do in the Real World?
How are You gonna Survive keeping a Job? This is what I have to say about that School is School and it always will be. Theres nothing else like it unless Your going to College or something which I'm not. Yes I'm sure I would be Nervous about Starting a New Job and as far as that goes lots of other things would bother Me to. But Walking into that Building Everyday with a Million idiots and Being "In Class'' is a whole entirely Different thing all togeather. Work and School are the same in some ways but in this case there very Different to.

[scatmantom]

hey man

sorry to hear ur having a hard time. I had a difficult time in school as well. Personnally i never have taken meds and i never will, but i hope they do the trick 4 u.

All i can advise is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy CBT. Its worked for me and i think it could be wot u need, ask ur doctor about it


hope that helps

[crxman321]

Thanks for Your Kind Words I've never heard of this CBT Stuff before I'm gonna do some Research on it and see what My Doctor says. As for School I wish some of My Teachers wouldnt give Me such a hard time about the Anxiety and My Work. I mean why should I have to look Retarted and completely scared out of My mind by Standing up infront of Everyone. Thats like making a Handicaped Person who can Barely Read and Write give a Speech infront of alot of People. I could stand up there and do it and be a Complete Wreck All Day and get Mad Fun of. It's a Real Disorder that causes Me Loads of Social Issues obviously. If I can fall Asleep at Night thats a big Deal.... What I really think I should do is contact the Superintendent and talk to Him about this or just tell the Teachers what I'm doing and what I'm not doing. Maybe setup a Meeting or something IDK Sigh :( :( :(

[shoe]

crxman, I can associate with what you are going through. Its such a shame many teachers don't treat anxiety disorders as a real tangible problem and instead think the best thing to do is to keep throwing someone into something that causes them severe distress in hopes that they will eventually 'get over' it.

I think you should have your therapist write a note to the school, and also try to talk to someone in the school who will actually listen and make things happen for you. There is no reason why ignorant teachers should be the cause of a student's worst nightmares. It really pisses me off, because I went through the same thing.. eventually I refused to do ANY talking in class and I got punished for it, sent to detention, got lousy grades etc. They really screwed up my chances for going to a good college. Even psyhologists back then were as ignorant and uninformed as the teachers! @#*($#@ lol, sorry had to get that off my chest

Currently I go to college and I have found teachers that are receptive to my anxiety disorder and are willing to offer me alternative assignments to presentations and whatnot, so its alot better for me to face things.

crxman, as far as medications go, SSRI's have failed me as well. Benzodiazepines on the other hand have worked WONDERS for my anxiety - I am so grateful to have found them and wish I had access to them back when I was in school. I don't know if there's a certain age you need to be before being put on them, but you might consider asking your doctor about those. Also, beta blockers might help too. Both take effect fairly quickly (between 20 minutes to an hour and a half for me), and don't require long term use.

CBT is probably the wisest course of action but it takes time and effort and I'm pretty sure its best to do when you have some distance between you and your feared situations. Being thrust into your nightmare on a daily basis like you are at school probably wouldn't work well alongside CBT. Man, I really hope you can get the teachers to stop putting you in those situations. Or at least get something that can help ease the pain.

keep us posted :)

[crxman321]

I called The Superintendent a few Minutes ago He's the only Non-A** at My School. Well since I'm on a I.E.P. He said He was gonna Talk with my Classroom Aid and see if they can come up with something to Help Me. The only Problem is Tomorrow is Friday and that means School so what do I do about that? He was like I'l let You know what were gonna do in a Day or Two. Having Anxiety Attacks all Night before School and then when I get in My first Class is Enough Forever. I didnt go to School Tuesday I went Yesterday and I didnt go Today... Sigh now I'm freaking out b/c I dont know what to do about Tomorrow I dont wanna get in Trouble but I dont wanna go and feel Terrible either. My Doctor only comes in Once a Week and thats Tuesday I havent been to Her for a while b/c None of the Meds. have done any Good. :evil: :( Back in 8th Grade The School took Me to Juvenile Court B/C I Missed like 50 Days that principal was an complete D*** to begin with. Like I said I'm a Senior I have a Few Months left just Help Me Finish and leave!!!!!!!!! Tonight if I Freak out and cant Relax and Sleep and have a Panic Attack Should I go to School?

[scatmantom]

thats a toughie, personnally i think u should go to school but I dont know how bad it is for you. When im at my worst theres isnt much that i am able to do...but i still force myself to do things like work or uni cos i dont wanna get the sack or drop out!

[crxman321]

I know for a Fact if I go Tomorrow it wont be Good. When I came Home Yesterday My Stomach was all Upset and I had a Headache and I was just Super Tired and Depressed/Nervous. I wanna go to School so I can pass all my Classes and get the F*** out of that Place Forever. But I cant do it and as far as that goes I shouldnt have to do it if I'm gonna have Anxiety Attacks and Headachs and be in a Pissed off Mood Everyday. The only way this is gonna Work is if The School Works Something out for Me. If something is Worked out for me Attending School would'nt be a Problem this Year I've done pretty Well compared to other Years. And I wouldnt get in Trouble either. :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x

[crxman321]

Well I'm gonna Go to School Tomorrow.. :? :oops: sigh.... The Superintendent told Me to go to my ClassRoom Aids Room in the Morning to get something Worked out. I Hope something Good happens for Me I know I'm gonna be on Edge and trying not to Freak Out. I only have a few Months left I'm sure I can make it.

[crxman321]

:( I'm not Happy to say that I didnt go to School after all. Friday morning a major Panic Attack hit Me and I couldn't Calm down. I't doesn't Help that I haven't been to my Doctor in a really Long time either. But like I said them Meds didn't Work anyways. To say Yeah I've been to my Doctor just sounds Better and helps the Situation when Talking to Someone like a Teacher or ect. LOL :mrgreen:

[scatmantom]

im sorry to hear that u didnt go in, but at least u hav had time to think things through. There are medication free treatments available and i think you should have at look at those.

[crxman321]

I just want School to be Done with :cry:

[crxman321]

It just Sucks when People in your Class laugh at You and say Mean Comments. I've came this Far I should be able to Deal with it....

[scatmantom]

when people say things to you...it is possible to just ignore it. Its difficult, but really they are the 1s with something wrong wit them if thats wot they need to do to get thier kicks. Just stick at it, and if things are out of hand tell a teacher or your parents. You dont have to tolerate people treatin u that way.

[shoe]

crxman, sorry things aren't going much better. I hope you try your best to get through it. We're rooting for ya either way, you know :)

[crxman321]

Thanks Guys the Kind words really mean Alot :) . I have some Good news finally Today I went to School and the Superintendent talked with my ClassRoom Aid. Now I have Three Classes with Her and just one Regular Class!! When I meet new People ofcourse I'm really Nervous. And I guess so Nervous that I cant Think and I say Stupid Stuff. If I was Asked a Question I might Say something Way Different and It wont make any Sense. Then I get that look like umm ok? I'm not gonna Talk to You anymore your Retarted. I't doesnt even have to be a Stranger but thats when it's usually Worse. Maybe someone I havent Spoken to in a while ect. Anyways what brought this on was at Lunch today. A Girl that I know but havent Talked to in a very Long time Sat across from Me. She was asking Me why I didnt have my Lip pierced anymore. I said really fast Mr. Thogmartin made Me take it out b.c incase I would get Hit or something. Then she was like That was the Purpose umm ok Then I felt Stupid I dont even think thats what She asked Me but it could have been IDK it's WHACK!

[shoe]

anxiety does get in the way of thought doesn't it hehe. I've been in the same situation.. saying something completely wrong, or missing what someone said, etc. :?

I don't understand what you mean about having classes with the classroom aid.. is she a teacher that tutors you one on one?

[scatmantom]

glad to hear its going well. Make the most of it and keep tryin to push urself further and u will soon find urself makin even greater progress!

wooooooo hoooooooo

:)

[crxman321]

Thanks scatmantom, I'm on a I.E.P She's the Special Education Teacher She teaches several different Classes. I got switched to Her for my Elective Classes that I need. Before I was in Regular Classes with Regular Teachers and they didnt know about Anxiety and ect. And no It isn't one on one

[crxman321]

Today in Band my Teacher was like Adam take these Keys and go unlock the Door and help get the Snares out. We have like 156 People in are Band everyone was Looking at Me and I instantly Freaked out. I find it so intresting how the whole Anxiety thing works in a slipt Second I cant Think/Talk and I feel all Strange. At first I turned around not faceing Him after He said to catch the Keys it's like I heard Him but at the same time I didnt at all. Then People were like ADAM.. to get my Attention Then I turned back around my Classmates were like Oh jeez, Oh Boy He wont catch them ect. I caught the keys but I still didnt know what I was to do with them. He was like it's the Gold key with the Number 8 on it I could foucs on that and Everything else He said. Then a second after I calmed down sorta and Remembered to get the Drums out. I looked over and the Door was already Open so I was Pissed and like what the F*** all that for nothing? The Door was In his View I dont know why He didnt see it Open lol anyways yeah Things like this have happend to Me since 1st Grade no Wonder I'm as bad as I am Now. *SIGH* Man do I HATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATE Situations like that...no wonder some People don't leave Home!

[shoe]

crxman, glad to hear you have the classes switched to that Special Ed. teacher :) Must be a relief

The band thing.. yah I hate how panic can just leap into your body from like nowhere.. it's totally caught me off guard many times, and it is so hard to fight against it to remain composed and aware of others. Of course, they say its better to not fight a panic attack, just to let it happen - but that sure isn't easy when others are watching! :oops:

[caseman]

wow anxiety in school def sucks and it is def worse because you have nowhere to go hope it gets better man - Caseman