metal4life
07-01-2018, 04:06 PM
Hey, basically im really depressed for a few month now, i have dystimia maybe so ive been depressed for years but with ups here and there where it got really bad. Well i cant anymore, not that i want to kill myself way, my illness anxiety doesnt allow it for me to kill myself, even if i wanted it. But i wouldnt mind disapearing for one day to another without pain. So ive been unemployed for months (ive been scammed from one of my mums friend) long story short he used me as low payment. I cant work anywhere because off my anxiety, thats why im home. So i help out my mum at her work, gardening and stuff but now that im in this phase again, i dont want to. I HATE GOING TO WORK!! I cant tell her because everytime i tell her something she says the tipical shit everyone says that im tired hearing and she doesnt actually understand it, she always says, well you need to think about your future, yada yada, she doesnt listen. Also anxiety makes it imposible to talk about it so im here REALLY not wanting to help her out beacuse im tired and shit. I asked her to call at health center and make an appointment but shes like you can do it yourself, looks like she already forgot i have abxiety isuess... not really a surprise. I dont even know what i want from you guys but yeah. I want to die, but cant, so im trapped in this prisson. PLEASE! dont come to me saying the stuff like youre not alone or is gona be okay because im literally tired and pissed off hearing these things. So how awfull you guys lifes goin?