Bec
11-29-2008, 02:51 AM
Hey everyone, I think what Im experiencing at the moment is anxiety/panic but Im having real problems trying to convince myself its this. I had quite a bad hangover yesterday and felt ill all day, a bit sickly and fluey, my mum felt ill the other day as well so for a while I just thought it was probably either what she had or still the effects of the hangover. Then I thought I heard my heart beat really pound for a few seconds and was really restless worrying over lots of things during the night, had a bit of sleep but not much then woke really early in the morning and felt really stiff, achey, tense and I could feel a bit of pain that came and went in my arms and hands and numbness in my fingers. My chest felt tight and a bit painful and because my arms were getting pains as well I began to get really frightened and shivery. I do have a complex about my heart, at the first sign of any odd pain or twinge in my chest my brain immediately thinks heart attack. The rational part of my brain thinks it is anxiety but then the pains start up again and I cant get away from thinking Im about to die and my hearts failing. The symptoms are less when I really try and distract myself but they're still here a bit now, Ive not had a full blown panic attack but I keep doing silly things like checking my pulse and heart rate and convincing myself its abnormal.
Again the rational part of my mind that can never seem to win me over knows theres quite a definate cause of panic/anxiety if thats what it is. My dad died last April of a sudden heart attack at home as a result of undetected heart disease. It literally seemed that everything was fine one minute, then he was just gone the next, in hindsight he seemed a bit run down and stressed for a while before it happened but nothing out of the ordinary for a middleaged businessman. He was relatively young, aged 47. It came as a huge shock to us and everyone he knew. A couple of weeks after I had a few days of really bad panic attacks, I was convinced I was dying and that I was going to have a heart attack, and was annoyed at myself for being all worried about myself and seemingly interrupting everyone elses grief, I really really couldnt help it but felt selfish at the same time..Id feel generally weak, feel the plunge of fear/shock down into my stomach, get aches, pains, tightness in my chest, dizzyness, shortness of breath, rapid heart rate, blackouts, shakiness and really thought something terrible was about to happen. I went to the doctors and she reassured me everything was fine medically and it was panic attacks and they were normal considering what had happened, she checked my blood pressure and cholesterol levels and they were normal. She also said 20 yr old females would make medical history if they just suddenly died of a heart attack, which I had to laugh at a bit and felt really silly.. Since then Id had no other signs of anxiety but it seems that now, months later, with no real reason other than continued grief, stress, and depressive episodes ..its back. I dont really know whats happening to me, and thought I'd overcome the anxiety months ago, and cant seem to really convince myself that anxiety is what it is anymore. My dads' dad died young of a heart attack as well so heart disease is pretty agressive in the family, and another thing Ive never had this fear before but since last night Ive been scared to go in the room where my dad died incase it happens to me too, and thats obviously completely irrational.
I dont really know why Im posting all this on here, I think i just wanted to vent a bit and organise my thoughts, any of your opinions would be much appreciated though, I can rationalise things but generally feel really overwhelmingly scared.
Again the rational part of my mind that can never seem to win me over knows theres quite a definate cause of panic/anxiety if thats what it is. My dad died last April of a sudden heart attack at home as a result of undetected heart disease. It literally seemed that everything was fine one minute, then he was just gone the next, in hindsight he seemed a bit run down and stressed for a while before it happened but nothing out of the ordinary for a middleaged businessman. He was relatively young, aged 47. It came as a huge shock to us and everyone he knew. A couple of weeks after I had a few days of really bad panic attacks, I was convinced I was dying and that I was going to have a heart attack, and was annoyed at myself for being all worried about myself and seemingly interrupting everyone elses grief, I really really couldnt help it but felt selfish at the same time..Id feel generally weak, feel the plunge of fear/shock down into my stomach, get aches, pains, tightness in my chest, dizzyness, shortness of breath, rapid heart rate, blackouts, shakiness and really thought something terrible was about to happen. I went to the doctors and she reassured me everything was fine medically and it was panic attacks and they were normal considering what had happened, she checked my blood pressure and cholesterol levels and they were normal. She also said 20 yr old females would make medical history if they just suddenly died of a heart attack, which I had to laugh at a bit and felt really silly.. Since then Id had no other signs of anxiety but it seems that now, months later, with no real reason other than continued grief, stress, and depressive episodes ..its back. I dont really know whats happening to me, and thought I'd overcome the anxiety months ago, and cant seem to really convince myself that anxiety is what it is anymore. My dads' dad died young of a heart attack as well so heart disease is pretty agressive in the family, and another thing Ive never had this fear before but since last night Ive been scared to go in the room where my dad died incase it happens to me too, and thats obviously completely irrational.
I dont really know why Im posting all this on here, I think i just wanted to vent a bit and organise my thoughts, any of your opinions would be much appreciated though, I can rationalise things but generally feel really overwhelmingly scared.