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petrichor
11-18-2017, 03:58 PM
Trigger warning: body-image shaming.

I am just writing this to discuss how I have been feeling lately. I have noticed something new I have been doing and it is obsessing over my physical image. I have been scrutinizing certain features I find to be ugly and consider “flaws.” My ears are not very small and they are tilted to the front. Perhaps this “deformity” did not affect me as a child but it is definitely something I very insecure about now. I was called “Mickey mouse” as a kid and now I am referred to as “Dumbo” by a friend of mine. He has flapped my ears before and asked if that would enable me to fly. That hurts me a lot and I have called him out. He now only calls me “Dumbo.” I guess I can handle being called that but the flapping part really saddened me.

Other features I have been obsessing over are my cheeks, nose, and teeth. I find my cheeks to be very “chubby.” My nose is kind of wonky and is very visible in pictures. I also feel like it really extends outwards. I don’t know, I just don’t like my nose. My teeth are a bit crooked. It is not visible when I smile but I obsess over them a lot.

Sometimes, I am scared to look in the mirror because I fear I may see something I do not like, which will frustrate me. I pull and pinch at my fat when I am frustrated. I go to the bathroom more often now to check if my stomach is “flat.” I involuntarily pin my ears back.

I have also been scrutinizing my personality and such. I feel as though I am very plain and average. I feel like I annoy my friends a lot and I am a burden, despite the fact they tell me I am not one. They are very caring people yet I never believe the positive words they say about me (or anyone for that matter). I wish I could be smarter and more intelligent. I have been comparing myself to other girls and wishing I could be them. This is all very new to me. I have never obsessed this much. It really makes me sad – drains me of energy and makes me feel devoid of emotions.

I am really sorry if I said something that was rude or insulting. I really do not mean to be mean or insensitive. I just felt I needed to rant about this. I also want answers, I suppose.

Again, I am sorry.

DuckKnight
11-19-2017, 07:42 AM
Don't be sorry! I don't any advice but I'm weirdly happy to see someone struggling with the same issues I am struggling with.
In terms of the personality thing I have gotten to the point where whenever I am with my friends I can tell that they are my friends and they're lovely and supporting but as soon as I am not with them I start to over analyse and I don't understand why anyone would want to be friends with someone like me and I just see all of our interactions as being forced and weird.

sm3392
11-20-2017, 08:16 AM
We put our bodies through so much

nathalia1011
01-19-2018, 12:27 AM
im also feeling the same to you but i learned to chin up and be positive and be proud of what you have.

MrsMargo
02-02-2018, 01:26 AM
How are you getting on? I feel you're just depressed. Sometimes I feel the same as you do. “Don’t rely on someone else for your happiness and self-worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can’t love and respect yourself – no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are – completely; the good and the bad – and make changes as YOU see fit – not because you think someone else wants you to be different.”
Stacey Charter

Abel101
04-24-2018, 02:06 AM
Try to avoid negative thoughts.