My anxieties are ridiculous

[Rachael5350]

It's 2:45 am. Earlier today, I was glueing a wood frame to a mirror with 2 part epoxy. I didn't realize how serious this glue is. I started reading about it and now I have convinced myself I have ingested it somehow and I'm going to die a gruesome death. I'm 99.999999% sure I did not, but the stupid anxiety part of my brain won't let this go. I'm having acid reflux in my throat and I'm convinced I somehow got this stuff in my body. I was pretty careful. I didn't get any on my hands. So how could it get in my mouth? I smoked my e-cig that was near my worksite afterwards and convinced myself it got on my ecig and i ingested it. I checked it and there is no sign of the glue.

I can't sleep and I feel soo stupid. Thanks for reading.

[gypsylee]

Hi Rachael and welcome :)

I’ve seen quite a few posts from people having the same irrational thoughts as this, so you aren’t alone. I think what happens is that when we are stressed in general, our minds latch onto certain things which can be quite strange. It’s almost as if our brains need SOMETHING to worry about and they choose some silly, highly unlikely scenario. If it wasn’t the glue, it’d probably be something else! Writing it down and getting it out of your brain is a good idea because you can “see” how silly it is and maybe even laugh about it.

All the best,
Gypsy x

[Rachael5350]

Thanks for replying. I agree and have often thought the same thing. I also have hit and run OCD. If I see a pedestrian anywhere on the road, even if they aren't near me, I convince myself I ran them over. I constantly check my rearview mirror or turn around and go back and check. I have a diary documenting these incidents. I have read to not give in to routines, but I freak out if I don't.

I used to have panic attacks and generalized anxiety when I was younger. Now I'm in my 30s and I don't have the "panic" anymore because I am on zoloft. Just a constant loop of worry that never stops. I can't seem to stop worrying about smallest things. Most of the time it's ridiculous. I recently convinced myself I would die of a brain eating amoeba after swimming in a lake.

I craft and I am a big "do it yourself-er". In the future I will probably just stick to crocheting. Although, the mirror I was framing is gorgeous ��

[gypsylee]

My daughter and I were talking about intrusive thoughts yesterday actually. She’s only 16 and gets them, so I reassured her that she won’t act on them. The “hit and run OCD” is similar to this one time I was super anxious and I had to stop at a children’s school crossing. I was sitting there thinking “if I hit the accelerator now I could kill those children”. It was absolutely horrible and I was so relieved when they’d finished crossing the road. But see, with a non-anxious state of mind those kind of thoughts don’t happen to me and I’ll be thinking about more “normal” things. Claire Weekes talks about intrusive thoughts and describes them as something like “strange thoughts in a tired, stressed mind”. I try to always remember that because it’s so easy to get totally freaked out by them.

[Anne1221]

I can so relate! I hope you will keep crafting because it's a great outlet and fun for you.