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View Full Version : Feeling like I should not start Citalopram 5mg just yet...opinions?



o2G2o
10-07-2017, 10:10 PM
(If you are in a rush, skip to the end for my question!)

​Hi all, I've spent most of the morning reading your posts on this topic. I've gleaned that everyone should expect side effects while getting used to the drug, but that is actually not my concern in this case.

I'm a 41 year old male and I smoke and drink, both within moderation (though I aim to quit smoking this year). I eat pretty healthily and my BMI is ideal. I'm not very active, but doing physical activities is something I generally tolerate very well.

I've been coping with very on/off mild to moderate to severe anxiety for about 10 years. Before realizing what I had was anxiety, it was much worse. At one point I could barely go outdoors, and though I was terrified of hospitals (I think I have a PTSD-type condition after a pericarditis situation trauma, where I was alone and sure I was dying of a heart attack in the ER) I was also terrified to be more than a 5 minute drive from one.

Eventually I got over my panic attacks for the most part - the key for me is actually a little morbid but I'll share anyway. Short of actually being suicidal, I did "give up" fighting the imaginary battle against impending death. That is to say, my reaction to panic (in my case a feeling that I'd 100% definitely die of a heart failure at any moment) eventually became one of "well fine, if I'm gonna die, then just get it over with already". It also sort of led to anger and taunting of a supreme being I actually don't believe in. "You want me (god)? Come and take me, then!" Anyway, I digress.

After several weeks and possibly months of this new laisser faire attitude toward my own survival, I noticed RAPID diminishing of my panic attacks and anxious feelings in general. This lasted about a year or so, with virtually no anxiety. Then I moved.

I had a lot of stress with the move; new job situation, money stresses, extreme loneliness and other issues. My anxiety came back with a vengeance and my old tricks weren't working.

For a year or so the anxiety came and went, I continued to use alcohol as self-medicating which actually worked pretty well (never drinking to get drunk, just a couple/few drinks a night to take the edge off).

Fast forward to a few months ago, and I started getting a lot of chest pain. It seemed to go away with burping most of the time, but old habits die hard and every sensation, tingle, stab or uneasiness sent me into panic mode.

My ears got hot, my pulse raced, I felt I couldn't breathe and got very lightheaded - I wanted to teleport home from wherever I was, and if I was driving at the time you could amplify those symptoms by a factor of 20. The underlying fear was STILL that I'd have a cardiac/pulmonary problem and not be able to get help, and would die. Traffic was rough. I'd be looking for ambulances stuck in traffic with me so that I could keep pace with them in case I had a problem. Absolutely ridiculous.

I finally got a family doctor, an advantage I'd not had since I was living back home with my parents 23 years ago. We did blood work, but it was a month of waiting as no one seemed able to find my results. My blood pressure was EXCELLENT and nothing indicated that I had any heart related problems.

Last night I finally got the results from my bloodwork. Even my liver and kidney function was now ideal, despite the drinking (my previous bloodwork a couple years ago showed very fatty liver). I was over the moon. My doctor said my health is actually exceptional. I was in "significantly better health than most people" he said. I feel like I can do anything now.

Here comes the dilemma. He prescribed me 5mg of Citalopram last night to even me out. I hesitate to take it, as I feel like my newfound confidence and excitement about life might be enough in and of itself. I feel like I can beat anxiety on my own, which is not to shame those who cannot. By all accounts, I should have probably been on SSRIs since 5 years ago and my life probably would have been a LOT better for it.

What do you guys/gals think? Should I wait it out or "just take the meds anyway"?
Great forum you have here, I will try to contribute as much as I can!

Jeff

Anne1221
10-08-2017, 05:45 PM
Well, don't just "take the meds anyway" because as you say, "you feel you can beat anxiety on your own." You should try to do that. Then, if you have troubles, you can take it.

That being said, if you hadn't said you feel "you can beat the anxiety on your own" and how great you now feel, I would say, "By all means, take it." You've had plenty of anxiety and alcohol is in no way a good way to cope with it. How did your bloodwork years ago show a fatty liver and now it looks good? That's confusing.

NAJ
10-09-2017, 06:03 AM
Just keep in mind if your anxiety does return that it takes 3-4 weeks for the meds to fully kick in.

I have to say though that 5 mg's of Citalopram is almost nothing, that is a starter dose.

I was on 40 mg's of Citalopram for 10 years with no adverse side effects then I felt it was losing it's effectiveness so I am now on 150 mg's of Zoloft.

Anne1221
10-09-2017, 07:42 PM
Yes, 5 mg is just used as a starter to build up.

And, I didn't mean to sound rude in my reply, it's just that in reading your post I saw so much history of anxiety. And it's hard for that not to come back, and if it does, you can give the 5mg a try!
I wish you all the best!

Ponder
10-10-2017, 05:47 AM
Reality Check. It's futile to compare one's experience on a dose and use that as a gauge for someone else.

Since I am here now, I'll just say what I thought this morning whilst reading this post.

To the OP. - excellent self assessment. I think you answered your own question. If not ... keep posting. Only you can find the answer to such; despite the many who will try.

Again ... excellent write up. Re-read and keep posting.

o2G2o
10-10-2017, 09:30 AM
You've had plenty of anxiety and alcohol is in no way a good way to cope with it. How did your bloodwork years ago show a fatty liver and now it looks good? That's confusing.

Thanks for the reply, Anne! I agree that alcohol is not a good idea for self-medicating and I actually apologize for my somewhat advocating its use as self-treatment in my choice of words. As for the fatty liver, it's an amazing organ. It only takes on average 5 weeks for a liver to fully heal itself from *almost* any abuse you throw at it, so even though I am still drinking, my body must have adjusted itself to my very steady intake and somehow balanced me out. I may be drinking slightly less than back when my last test was done. In any case, I was expecting it to still be at least somewhat fatty, but as it turns out my function is perfectly within the norm.

o2G2o
10-10-2017, 09:49 AM
Reality Check. It's futile to compare one's experience on a dose and use that as a gauge for someone else.

Since I am here now, I'll just say what I thought this morning whilst reading this post.

To the OP. - excellent self assessment. I think you answered your own question. If not ... keep posting. Only you can find the answer to such; despite the many who will try.

Again ... excellent write up. Re-read and keep posting.

Thank you, I pride myself on understanding my own mind pretty well! I will give it a shot without meds and I'll be around to help others when possible. Cheers

o2G2o
10-10-2017, 09:50 AM
Just keep in mind if your anxiety does return that it takes 3-4 weeks for the meds to fully kick in.

I have to say though that 5 mg's of Citalopram is almost nothing, that is a starter dose.

I was on 40 mg's of Citalopram for 10 years with no adverse side effects then I felt it was losing it's effectiveness so I am now on 150 mg's of Zoloft.

Glad to hear you didn't experience anything rough, that eases my mind a little! I do believe that this dose was exactly as you say, a way for my doctor to see if it had a positive effect. He wanted me to report back after 2-3 weeks.