Major stress problems - Feel like it's a vicious circle

[needinghelp]

Hi all. I have been having MAJOR stress problems as of late. I will give my background really quick. In the past (Over 3 years ago), stress was not too much of a problem in my life. Recently (about 3 months ago), I broke out of a very toxic 3 year relationship. Basically, the relationship left me suffering emotionally, academically (2 years behind in school), financially (Lost $12,000 in savings), physically (40 lbs weight gain), and mentally.


Anyways, I have always had attention problems to an extent, but in school I would always be able to pull the grades up to at least a C+. I had thought I had ADD for a while, and I still think it's something that's plausible. The first few months of the breakup (Up until 1 month ago), I was an emotional wreck and did not even want to get out of bed in the morning. I missed many classes and schoolwork. I am now trying to pull up my grades and I am having great difficulty. A recent example of this is last week when I freaked out on an introduction to a research assignment, basically spent 10 hours on it (The last hour was the only portion spent actually writing) and I ended up with a D-.


I originally had 5 classes, which I dropped one so now I have 4. One is a research class worth more credits because of it's intensity. One class, I am doing fine in (to my knowledge). The other 2 are questionable, and the research class is in major trouble. I get so stressed out because I am now 2 years behind (23 and a semester of school left to go just to get a lousy Psych degree), I am working 20-30 hours a week and trying to afford my tuition and car insurance, and things seem to go wrong and cost me money (IE - Car breaking down). I do not even know what I want to do with my degree (If I ever get it) and I am unsure if I want to double major afterward.


I am trying my hardest to catch up in my classes. I am unable to absorb new material or concentrate at any length, always feel tired and lethargic, and my self-esteem is going down the drains as a result. I get into these anxiety modes where I do not know what to do and I just freak out and vent. I usually walk outside and vent to myself without others around. It doesn't help unfortunately and my quality of life is low because I am so insanely out about everything this semester. I feel like I am unable to learn. It is so bad that it has gotten to the point where I feel like I have brain damage.


The funny thing is when I was 20, I worked 40-60 hours a week and attained a 3.1 GPA with nowhere near as much stress as I am experiencing now. I feel like something is seriously wrong with this picture.


I don't know why I posted this. I think it was mainly to vent and get any opinions on how I can dig myself out of this by either feeling less stressed or having something to help my concentration. I am not too fond of the way it's going and I feel very hopeless about my future. Help!!!

[kaialian]

Hi there!

I understand what you mean exactly! I went through the same thing, only I wasn't working. I started out full time, was getting really good grades, then anxiety hit (more so me obsessing over pain in my side, which led to the anxiety). My grades also started slipping and I went down a class to help myself cope.

I didn't finished my degree until I was 24, (well almost 25 really). I do not think it matters how old you are when you are finished. Getting a uni degree is a major accomplishment. Some people finish quicker, others do the "typical" 4 years, while more still take more time. Most of my university pals did not finish in 4 years. It wasn't that we were slackers, it was we only took 4 classes a semester instead of 5 and took summers off to work. I think the whole 4 year degree is misleading. Try not to worry about it taking you longer.

As for your degree, I didn't do psyc, so the only thing I can suggest is to go talk to a guidance counselor. They usually can give you some options of what you can do. I do know that if you want to teach, with a BA you can go teach overseas in Japan or China. That is an option, the only one I can think of myself, but I am SURE there are others.

Are you doing anything to help you relax? At my university, I took an anxiety group session that helped ALOT. I also saw a counselor weekly.

When I was about a year away from graduating, I finally decided I was tired of trying to deal with anxiety just on my own. The coping techniques were not very effective as I like them to be. I started taking paxil (I had been thinking about meds for about 6 months previously). They helped me so much I wished I had started them earlier. Now I am not saying you have to take meds. You need to do what you feel is right for you.

Take care