Making friends

[meero]

Hi!

I've been struggling with anxiety for most of my life. Been on various medications, therapy ect. Worked really hard and now I'm happy to say that I'm mostly anxiety free.

BUT after so many years of being controlled by anxiety it's like I've forgotten how to make friends. Most of the people I know are through my boyfriend and any time I am being social it's together with him.

I would like to make some friends of my own. I miss being able to call someone up and hang out with them without my boyfriend coming with me. But I just can't seem to make that happen.

Any of you struggling with the same thing and have any tips for me? I feel completely lost.

Ps. This is my first time posting anything on a forum like this. Feel free to ask any questions if you need more information about the situation.

[Anne1221]

Try to join any groups you can or take any classes you can. Exercise classes, yoga classes, arts and crafts classes, or join any groups you can. Volunteer - anywhere. Great way to meet new people. Are you in college or do you work?
What about church groups? Anyplace you can meet people is good!

[gypsylee]

Hi and welcome :)

I know what you mean and don’t really have any tips, sorry. I’ve been more sociable and outgoing lately but it’s like everyone is just too busy and caught up in their own lives (kids, jobs etc).

Good luck.. I hope you find some sense of companionship here.

Gypsy x

[ivanmiller]

Sometimes I meet someone through a friend and end up hanging out just with that person another day. So you can even ask one of the persons you met through your boyfriend for her mobile number and call a few days later to ask her to hang out.

[littlestarsmum]

Welcome to this forum, meero. Nice to meet you. I'm glad you're here and appreciate your willingness to connect with us. I agree with what Anne1221 said. Do you have a support group nearby where you can connect with people regularly? Please know that you’re most welcome to be our friend here. Thanks for sharing your story with us. Hugs!

[meero]

Thank you for all of your tips. I have been trying to reach out to people more and I have been more social, but haven't been able to make any real connections with people. Started feeling really low again back in march and have been battling depression since then. Now I don't really feel like doing anything anymore.

[salvator here]

I know its hard sometimes to be only in the company of yourself (still question it myself sometimes), for now, start with appreciating the forum peers. Its good you started to try to be more social (whatever that means to you). It helps having some common healthy interests with people I think. I would be cautious with looking for friends in church groups. At least, in my case, they've been very judgmental only made me feel even more alone. Not saying to avoid it, just saying go in understand what the church's beliefs/teachings are so you don't get into something that could add to your depression. And just to be clear, I'm not saying faith is not a good way to bring people together, rather, used as a weapon and joining church groups often is based upon the belief that you are there to change and convert you into/from something, rather than to foster the celebration of of the faith itself. Not always the case though.

I know sometimes the forum alone doesn't feel real (enough), but we are all here for the same reason(s) and I greatly appreciate the company of the members here.

That being said.. don't give up :)

[chrisjudson]

I can understand where your coming from and i think if im honest, i think people just struggle with it, and some people struggle more than others. and it is tough!! like not having friends is like deep down painful. Leaving you feeling like youve got nowhere to turn.
Yes ok you probably have family but there's just some things you dont want to tell your family because they may just not understand your way of thinking or like me, think they know how to fix your issues that actually right now might not feel like they can be fixed.

You want a friend(s) who can just sit, listen and empathize with you. But i would agree with the comment above "that being said...dont give up" especially on yourself because if you do, life gets harder like treading water...please dont give up..granted some days i want to give up and i know i just cant..