Feeling sad and lonely for no reason

[lilah]

I have a wonderful life.
I thank God and Jesus for it constantly.
Sometimes, I just get so sad for no reason.
I feel lonely every other day.
I'm trying to find my place in college at the moment.
I try so hard to get a guy's attention, and it always goes down in flames.
Either they're not interested, or I screw something up.
It's so frustrating.
I am so grateful for the life I have at home, though.
Praise God for it.
It's just that I want to be valued by others.
I just want to be appreciated.
I want a guy to like me.
I'm not desperate.
I just want to be loved and cared for by a guy.
I want the love to flow both ways and not just one.
I want to be wanted.

[gypsylee]

Hi and welcome :)

[Anne1221]

It will come. Just give it time. You'll find someone that will be right for you. Don't get discouraged and remember the more guys you meet, the better your chances are of finding someone so join as many groups/clubs as you can.

[MainerMikeBrown]

Lilah, their are one or more reasons why you get depressed. Identifying why will give you insight and may help you a lot.

[Ponder]

Lilah, their are one or more reasons why you get depressed. Identifying why will give you insight and may help you a lot.
Well said.

Apply all those wants to loving yourself ... it's easy not to be kind to self when busy feeling so sad about all your wants.

My take is that our culture is bent on finding the answers in others, when really all we need do is look within. Once you find contentment and peace with self, the things you pine for no longer matter where only then you attract those the things that truly count. Take a break from the looking and usually then things then fall into place.

Works when I'm trying to find my keys. :)

Welcome to the forum!

Once I gave up God & Jesus, it got much easier for me. All those elements did for me was give me a long list of standards into which if I did not fit ... low and behold ... a long and lonely life. Just goes to show we are all different and what works for one might indeed affect another. Religion is well known for that.

You might find more alignment along that path in a Christian Forum. Food for thought?

If you must beleive in something ... at least beleive in yourself.

[IAmCamille]

We all want that. :-)

[vancedwight]

Hi there, according to me this can be the kind of social anxiety. You need to do the things which make you happy and busy. I am sure that you will get the right person for you. You can also take the help of professionals who can help to cure your situation. I have heard positive reviews about Martine-voyance. I think you can try for this.

[AngelaEvers]

Is it nice?

[meero]

I feel the same way. I have a great life and I have no real reasons to feel depressed, but I still wake up every morning with zero motivation and this sadness all around me. I think I actually like the sadness, because it's easier to feel those negative feelings than to force yourself to switch your mind to a positive one. I think starting with yourself first is important before expecting something of others. You need to be okay with who you are, and you need to find that one thing that makes you unique and special and love yourself for it. Don't ask me how you do that, cause I have no idea how. Still fighting to find that within myself.

[Imperfect]

Wise words meero. It's ok not to know. Being ok with not knowing leads to acceptance which leads to being. Being present without dwelling on past or future in a way that drags us down. The more we analyze, the further we go down.

Thus meditation or the intentional act not to think in an environment conducive to freeing the mind help me to develop a healthy sense of solace vs feeling all alone.

[salvator here]

^Agreed!

All this leads to the feeling of not being content. Not accepting the cards you were dealt (and learning to work with with what you have), dwelling on the past and becoming (overly) nostalgic over the past (this I also very much struggle), over analyzing everything, and mixing solitude with being alone does bring us down.

I also confuse all the above at times myself, rather then appreciating what I do have. Although, compare to some, I might not have much, I do consider myself also fortunate.

[Imperfect]

^Agreed!

All this leads to the feeling of not being content. Not accepting the cards you were dealt (and learning to work with with what you have), dwelling on the past and becoming (overly) nostalgic over the past (this I also very much struggle), over analyzing everything, and mixing solitude with being alone does bring us down.

I also confuse all the above at times myself, rather then appreciating what I do have. Although, compare to some, I might not have much, I do consider myself also fortunate.

That just nailed it for me.

[rosspark]

That just nailed it for me.
I agree with salvator here also, but on reflection our pasts aren't really anything to be nostalgic over. Things even back then weren't great and the actual foundation of where our problems began. "Bomb the past" is my mantra these days. Life can only be understood backwards, true, but it must be lived forwards. Hence why I prefer "The Thin Red Line" over "Saving Private Ryan" these days.

[salvator here]

I like that Ross.. and can also see it your way now. When I say nostalgia, I see that as a bad thing, it hurts (and triggers depression for me) to live in the past - yesterday and over - can't get it back nonetheless. I'm trying to put the past in the past - where it belongs. Yeah, "Bomb The Past" sounds about right sometimes. Sometimes easier aid than done for me. For others, simply looking at old pictures and ornamental items, listening to old songs would brink one comfort (not always for me), when I decide to take a trip don't "Memory Lane", its very painful. I just recently took down pictures on the wall of people, some nick nacks, and got rid of things needn't be triggers for me around the house and replaced it with something nondescript and it has helped.

Thanks again for that!

[Imperfect]

For me ... it's a case of Dwelling Vs Drawing - to a point where there is no more Versing. The way in which we hold thoughts is somthing we can alter by adjusting our grip.

In terms of painfull memories, I can't release them if they are buried. My experience living long term as an undesirable, has lead me to seeing this need to burry pain deep as somthing we all do on instinct.

When it comes to Depression and Anxiety:

Burring painful emotions is reason why so many of us medicate. It helps to bury the past in a way that makes the symptoms easier to live with. Yet many of us know that somewhere deep inside still resides ...... and whilst unresolved it never goes.

Pain management is great. But only effective if you deal with core issues. We are all different in the way we purge. Some people dig in hard, whilst others go slow. The body is good at naturally expelling toxicity. Thoughts and feelings are no different except when left unresolved ... they WILL resurface. It's a natural occourance. Unless we truly deal with them, they will always plague us no matter how deep we bury them.

So it is I am less sold on the concept of ignoring them. Doing so is the the proccess of fight or flight which in turn is the essence of anxiety with depression being the primary symptom. The severity of abuse, exposure and length of 'cycle' endured will usually dictate how much pain and suffering it takes to expell. The more we suppress the more cycles.

Sometimes it helps to dig and sometimes it makes it worse. Acknowledging regardless of how deep things are buried will however always help. Acceptance is the best way to bring things to the surface in a less painfull way where ultimately one can release their grip and find true peace. It's a proccess I often do by the lake or down at the beach.

I have come to see as the process of living. I have learned much from my painfull experiences. More than that which this world tried to educate me. It's the unlearning that's hard. That said, the process of deprogramming can help to dissolve so that digging need not be sought. Meditation is excellent for that.

Dwelling Vs Drawing ... so that there is no longer any Verseing. No more fighting ... No more resistance. You can't do that without first cleansing. Once clean enough / free enough, there is no dwelling ... but you can then draw from the well in a way that offers help for both self and others.

Don't fall for the trap that Anxiety and Depression are monsters. If we can't find acceptance, compassion and love through others ... I know first hand that no matter how low we can humanly go ... that if we sit still enough ... we can find these qualities within ourselves. Again, this be a process of allowing ALL that is within to be as it be.

So effective can this proccess of acceptance be, that one may not even recall specific events to release. It takes practice to open and receive.

I ponder more on that. But hopefully in a way similar to what I'm trying to say. It's not as simple as to quickly bury, or to quickly dig. I guess is more my point. In this light it can take more words, with more thought, where words and thought take on new light ... so that in the end none of the other need be drummed. All that is left is effortlessness.

Smiles as is the state I savour during the pinnacle of my meditations. From there peaceful like lucid dreams take place. The more I practice the longer stability takes place ... the less I foster the more I lose my place. So I best again roll out of bed , finish these edits and go find my feet.

Best wishes for others finding thier own. :)

[ingridcarley]

Makes friends in college or where you go for an outing. Friends are always with us and make us out of loneliness. Enjoy the present moment don't think too much about past or future because no one predicts future so live in present and enjoy the life.