I can't talk to people

[Deathbat16]

It's my first year of high school. It's been a month since it started and I still haven't talked to anyone, while everyone's hanging out, I'm just standing by the side all alone. I feel so isolated from everyone. Even when someone tries to talk to me I either don't know what to say or I'm scared I'll embarrass myself. I overthink every single thing I say and I've had panic attacks. Same thing with professors at my school. They see me as lazy, unintelligent.. but the thing is I'm just too scared and anxious about expressing myself and discussing about something. My grades are just dropping and I'm so sick of this.
I don't know what to do I literally have no friends.. if anyone has any advice please help me

[Ponder]

Welcome to the forum.

That must really suck. Srry to hear your having a hard time of it right now. Isolation can at times be a haven for many and at other times it can really suck. The longer I went without talking to people the harder it was when ever the time came where I needed to go out and about. Especially when mixing in groups.

Reaching out online is a good place to practice a little. Kind of get the feet wet again after being isolated for a long period of time.

I'm only linking this as a suggestion or more like an option that may also help:

Mental Health Chat Rooms (http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?36887-Mental-Health-Chatrooms&p=242015#post242015/first)

When I get down I like to go there and just hello as a means of practicing. I find it really helps when I go out and do the things I that are hard to avoid; like shopping and that kind of thing. Perhaps a little different. Just sharing from a time when I could not go out at all. Talking to others online helped me to come up with ways of just being nice to others ... help me think of things to say without trying to think of what others are thinking or that kind of ticking that goes on in the head like you just said. I had no friends at that stage myself which is why I mostly just hung on the internet. Even on the internet you have to practice at making friends. It's a good place to start in my book.

I generally don't wander from my own thread or when I am feeling bogged down I just stay bunkered down in my own threads. I'm only popping out of late because some of the others that normally respond have been a bit quite of late. I sometime think perhaps it's me and or something I have said and bla bla bla goes that ticking you just said. BUT thinking like that is not going to help. Like you I am getting sick of feeling that way, so I have made the decision to sometime go to that online mental heal chat place and practice like I said. The more I try to be nice and take my mind of my own problems and for those times ... sometimes ... only a few ... others respond in turn ... even just to say Bye to me when they had said nothing at all ... give me a little hope.

Forgive the length of this reply. Basically reaching out from time to time online helps me to get my head out of my own issues. Just saying hi to others and asking how they are is enough ... from there it helps to practice listening. But that one is step number two. Just practice reaching out. Like you just did.

Well done ...

Once again ... Welcome to the forum.

I often put my foot in my mouth but I know from experience the more I practicing , the easier it is to keep my feet grounded when opening my mouth. :)

Keep posting ... it's challenging ... but it does help.

[hdl160]

This sounds exactly like me. All I can say is that I feel your pain. Just remember that this is only four years of your life and things will get better. "What a wonderful thought it is that the best days of our lives haven't happened yet."

[o2G2o]

I used to be like that and I can remember it very vividly. You're lucky that you're young now as opposed to a few decades ago where there was NO tolerance of intelligence, nerdy tendencies or anything else. I guess you have new pressures I didn't have in the 90s at high school, but for the most part I think everyone is more aware of peer pressure and things like that. I noticed myself coming out of my shell in my mid twenties and by the time I hit 30 I really could care less what anyone thought. I'm 41 now and this is as confident as I've ever been, even though my social and romantic "opportunities" are obviously significantly lower. I guess what I'm trying to say is: you will definitely not give a s*** later, about ANY of these people (save possible a few dear friends) and nothing you say or do now will haunt you for life. I once was at a party with almost my entire grade 10 class and had a few beers on an empty stomach, ended up laying naked on the guy's bathroom floor for 3 hours puking my guts out and no one at the party could use the rest room. The subject only came up a couple of times later on, and I laughed at it just like the person teasing me.

[MainerMikeBrown]

My first year at high school didn't go so great either. I didn't feel I could talk to anyone about what I was going through. But the years after my freshman year got better.

[sm3392]

I can relate

[IAmCamille]

One tiny step at a time, that's what I tell myself. It is really difficult but maybe worth a try?

[Ponder]

One tiny step at a time, that's what I tell myself. It is really difficult but maybe worth a try?

That's good advice. Little by Little is one I often tell myself. It adds up quickly once you start keeping on track with whatever the goal or aims be.

[Marston76]

I feel you friend!

[Abel101]

I feel you friend.

[GradSchool4Life]

I feel so isolated from everyone.

Do you also feel isolated in other areas of your life? Perhaps it's not as important for you to have friends at school (at first), and instead create some sort of connections, even if it's outside of school.

How are your relationships with your family?

Maybe consider community service or some other way to get out interacting with people.

I say this because the kids who socialize best in high school are able to do that because they're socially connected in other areas of their lives first.

[nsantanello]

Hey friend, high school could be tough. No one realizes whats going on in your mind or that you feel scared so they could mistake it with laziness. When i was in highschool i always took the time out of my day to talk to the kid in the corner. I hope sometime soon someone can make you feel comfortable to talk to them. Just remember if you act like yourself and they don't want to be your friend... they weren't your friend in the first place. But once you open up and embarrass yourself you aren't truly trying. I love to embarrass myself bc that means I was my true RAW self. If someone wants to laugh at me that means i made them smile if someone wants to judge me and make fun of me that means they're not my friend. Be yourself and someone will notice how fun and smart you are.

[metal4life]

Could be social anxiety, i have it and its hard, i dont have any advice since i have it as long as i can remeber, i made 2 friends, i was lucky my school was new and people were inviting so i made 2 friends, which are enough. But only talked to them, not to anyone else. The only advice i have, get a hobby for school to get trough, maybe drawing, or anything else allowed, thats how i got arround my school days.