toughbird
08-20-2017, 11:33 AM
About a month ago, my boyfriend (also colleague) came into work really drunk. Stank of booze and claimed he didn't realize he was drunk. He drank a lot the previous night. My manager witnessed him drunk and sent him home. After the incident, he is now under investigation. Awaiting to attend a meeting next week.
I have fallen out with my family after they urged me to not to get involved and not to put my job on the line as it's his fault the incident happened. I am the only person who has stuck by him.
He has depression and anxiety and takes medication. There's a chance the booze and medication may have effected his behaviour the day he came in drunk.
Since the incident, he doesn't text and doesn't appear to want to go out. In fact, he appears to being isolating more and more. When I text, I get a reply back three hours later. I'm the one making the contact first. We make plans to meet up and hang out. Then he makes excuses and bails out ten minutes before the time we are planning to meet.
I have noticed on days his home from work. He spends his time at home sleeping. When he bails out, he talks about wanting to rest.
Then he phones the next day to try and explain.
Then the situation at work appears to have increased his isolation. I have offered support and to keep him company. But it would appear that he prefers to stay at home, resting and not wanting to talk to anyone.
A few days ago, I texted him to find out if everything is okay and I am worried about him. He said he was fine. I pointed out that I was there for him. I got no reply back.
A day later, he apologised for the lack of contact from his side. He urged me not to take it personal. He has needed to have time alone whilst resting. Said he was going to tell me more over the weekend.
I think, the final straw came tonight. Yesterday we made plans to meet up at my house. He appeared a little anxious. So when I hugged him, he mentioned he is looking forward to meeting up.
Then he phoned me this morning to inform he is going to come over around 18:30pm. By 5pm, he texted me to inform he was watching football with a friend and can he come over at 19:30pm? Which I said okay.
At this point, I cleaned the house to ensure it was spotless. I even moved my two current cats who share my room with me into another room.
Then 19:20pm, he texts me to request if he can come over tomorrow night? He needs to talk to me and that I mean the world to him. I asked what does he need to talk to me about? His response is, I'll phone you tomorrow and it's not me.
At this point, I am totally confused. No explination. No apology. I tried to phone him but he switched off his phone. You can imagine, I was really hurt and confused. The way he treated me was totally disrespectful and hurtful. He couldn't have the nerve to talk to me just bailed out.
I texted him to thank him for hurting me and why.
I decided that I was not going to sit around crying. I decided to hit the town and go to see a movie with my sister.
Two hours later, he texted me. Informing it had nothing to do with me at all. Not to get hurt please with a smiley. That he is going to phone me tomorrow. I pointed out, it's too late. I am already hurt. If he has something to say then tell me the truth. I got no reply back.
After the movie, I started to feel better.
Put on my phone and found a missed call from him.
I decided to text him and agreed to hear him out. Requesting for the full truth and no more excuses. But he can't come to my house best to speak in person. To name the time and place and I'll be there.
He refused by saying he is resting today. After a few more texts, I informed his actions were selfish. It's wrong to make plans. Then makes excuses. His not just his feelings that count.
He informed he wants to get the investigation over and thanked me for my support. This got me angry. I pointed out tell me your feelings and thoughts so I can understand. I also pointed out that I have texted and offered my company in order to prevent him from isolating. How it hurts me seeing him in pain and I know his worried about the investigation. But I need him to communicate because I can't help if I don't get his point across.
All I got in return was excuses how he needs his space today. How he should communicate what he wants and needs. How we will sort things out. But as I pointed out, I go by actions and not words. His actions are excuses and games. He doesn't care. He didn't respond back.
So nothing solved. He had a chance to sort things out and he refused to meet me half way. I think it's fair to know where I stand.
I have fallen out with my family after they urged me to not to get involved and not to put my job on the line as it's his fault the incident happened. I am the only person who has stuck by him.
He has depression and anxiety and takes medication. There's a chance the booze and medication may have effected his behaviour the day he came in drunk.
Since the incident, he doesn't text and doesn't appear to want to go out. In fact, he appears to being isolating more and more. When I text, I get a reply back three hours later. I'm the one making the contact first. We make plans to meet up and hang out. Then he makes excuses and bails out ten minutes before the time we are planning to meet.
I have noticed on days his home from work. He spends his time at home sleeping. When he bails out, he talks about wanting to rest.
Then he phones the next day to try and explain.
Then the situation at work appears to have increased his isolation. I have offered support and to keep him company. But it would appear that he prefers to stay at home, resting and not wanting to talk to anyone.
A few days ago, I texted him to find out if everything is okay and I am worried about him. He said he was fine. I pointed out that I was there for him. I got no reply back.
A day later, he apologised for the lack of contact from his side. He urged me not to take it personal. He has needed to have time alone whilst resting. Said he was going to tell me more over the weekend.
I think, the final straw came tonight. Yesterday we made plans to meet up at my house. He appeared a little anxious. So when I hugged him, he mentioned he is looking forward to meeting up.
Then he phoned me this morning to inform he is going to come over around 18:30pm. By 5pm, he texted me to inform he was watching football with a friend and can he come over at 19:30pm? Which I said okay.
At this point, I cleaned the house to ensure it was spotless. I even moved my two current cats who share my room with me into another room.
Then 19:20pm, he texts me to request if he can come over tomorrow night? He needs to talk to me and that I mean the world to him. I asked what does he need to talk to me about? His response is, I'll phone you tomorrow and it's not me.
At this point, I am totally confused. No explination. No apology. I tried to phone him but he switched off his phone. You can imagine, I was really hurt and confused. The way he treated me was totally disrespectful and hurtful. He couldn't have the nerve to talk to me just bailed out.
I texted him to thank him for hurting me and why.
I decided that I was not going to sit around crying. I decided to hit the town and go to see a movie with my sister.
Two hours later, he texted me. Informing it had nothing to do with me at all. Not to get hurt please with a smiley. That he is going to phone me tomorrow. I pointed out, it's too late. I am already hurt. If he has something to say then tell me the truth. I got no reply back.
After the movie, I started to feel better.
Put on my phone and found a missed call from him.
I decided to text him and agreed to hear him out. Requesting for the full truth and no more excuses. But he can't come to my house best to speak in person. To name the time and place and I'll be there.
He refused by saying he is resting today. After a few more texts, I informed his actions were selfish. It's wrong to make plans. Then makes excuses. His not just his feelings that count.
He informed he wants to get the investigation over and thanked me for my support. This got me angry. I pointed out tell me your feelings and thoughts so I can understand. I also pointed out that I have texted and offered my company in order to prevent him from isolating. How it hurts me seeing him in pain and I know his worried about the investigation. But I need him to communicate because I can't help if I don't get his point across.
All I got in return was excuses how he needs his space today. How he should communicate what he wants and needs. How we will sort things out. But as I pointed out, I go by actions and not words. His actions are excuses and games. He doesn't care. He didn't respond back.
So nothing solved. He had a chance to sort things out and he refused to meet me half way. I think it's fair to know where I stand.