what is wrong with me?

[rainsonme]

I don't feel like I'm here. I think I'm insane or that I don't exist. People talk to me, and I understand their words,but I don't really know what they're saying. This has been going on almost all day. Mostly I just feel like I'm dreaming or stoned. The worst part was when I was walking my son in the stroller to get my daughter at the bus stop. I kept feeling like my mind was drifting off, or that it was going blank, and I felt like I was just staring around me, but I'm not sure if I was or not. Then I would "wake suddenly, and wonder what was happeneing, and I was afraid I would get lost,a nd I've walked that way hundreds of times. There are entire parts of the day that I can't remember. The only thing I kept thinking was that I'm in some sort of shock or something, although nothing "traumatic" has happened. I keep losing my train of thought, I just noticed that, aor I think I'm noticing it again. I feel like I'm having some kind of psycotic episode or something. I've been under alot of stress lately, and today it came to an apex, with the guy I'm in love with deserting me.
I don't really feel anything for long periods of time, like right now I don't. I don't know if I'm here or not. Ive been wondering If I should go to the hospital. I made an appointement for a psycologist for a few days from now, ther earliest I could get. I don't want to go to the hospital if I don't have to, I don't want my children taken from me, but I don't want anything bad to happen to them either, if another episode happens. Like I feel I might leave the sove on, or blank out again. My mom is coming over to watch te kids.

what is wrong with me, and what should I do?Should I go to the hospital?

[square]

I think you're doing all the right things.

Scheduling the doctor, getting your mom over, caring for the kids and staying pretty calm through it all.

I also think the break-up is causing the symptoms - but the doctor can figure that out.

Some other people, smarter than me will be along with lots of support.

When the stress goes down, the dream-like states will be less.

[Evilbob333]

Hi, sorry to hear you're in such a state!

It sounds to me like a case of derealization...a very common and most disturbing symptom of anxiety...but whilst it is extremely horrible (and i know that it is) it is just a symptom of anxiety. It isnt a psychotic episode, although i know that it can make you feel like that, it purely is anxiety.
It sounds to me that you're brain has gone into protection mode following your break up with your partner. It does the exact same thing after a car crash or other horrific event...it feels like you're a bit detached from the world...things seem otherworldly and dream like and its a totally natural reaction...You're right in thinking its a shock reaction. Rest and relaxation along with accepting this as an anxiety symptom will help alleviate the feeling, the more you worry about it and think about the longer the feeling will remain.

So don't worry, your marbles are still all your own...try and take it easy for a while and give yourself to come to terms with this sudden change in your life.

Hope it all works out, and remember this forum is here if you need any support.

[northstar]

good advice from the others :) this isn't uncommon with anxiety, lots of people here have had a similar experience. i read recently that these disconnected feelings can be the result of a vitamin B deficiency. all the stress you've been under will effect your vitamin B levels so perhaps it's not surprising if you're a little low on them. it may also be due to the fact that your nervous system is just feeling so stressed with everything that has been happening, in which case vitamin B again comes to the resuce as it's great for soothing an upset nervous system, it's very necessary in fact.

ask your pharmacist or your health food shop assistant for a good vitamin B complex, i take one with added magnesium which is also good for stress and anxiety and helps you to absorb the B vitamins more easily. make sure it's compatible with any meds you're on and be aware that it will turn your urine bright yellow lol.

it's important to take care of yourself right now, so be good to yourself, eat well and allow yourself time to heal from the hurt. don't be afraid to talk to the people around you, i'm sure they'll be only happy to support you during this time and you could do with some i think :) i really hope you're feeling better soon :console: