I'm new here and have questions

[Canary]

I've had anxiety ever since I was little. I was very shy as a child and avoided people to the point of hiding when i heard the doorbell go off. I've had therapy sessions with a psychologist a few years ago, but I started doing better once i changed to a different high school.
Recently, my anxiety has been coming back and I've been becoming more and more paranoid in these past couple of weeks. I'm having trouble talking to people, which is strange because i'm usually pretty outgoing and funny, but now i worry that people only think i'm funny because i'm weird and stupid... I stutter a lot. I'm afraid of being surprised by loud noises and can't be in the same room as something that could potentially be loud, like a child playing with a balloon. I have a great boyfriend who helps me get through things, but if it weren't for him I would be completely lost. I'm afraid of too many things, and it prevents me from doing something that i need to do, like answering the door to a stranger, going to a party, or getting up to close a window at night.. ( i worry about someone breaking through the window)
Last week I had a panic attack, and my parents are worried about my anxiety coming back.... so next thursday i'm going to a doctor to see if i need to take medicine for my anxiety. I'm worried about the side effects, and also about becoming hooked. When i look up the medicines online i'm overwhelmed with all the different names. Is taking medicine something i should worry about?

[02Batmobile]

Don't worry about medications. They are there to help you as far as anti-depressants are concerned. The only thing you should be cautious with is your intake of anti-anxiety medications like Xanax which can become habit-forming. That's it. There is nothing else to worry about. Jus' make sure you aren't taking them too frequently.

As far as your fears are concerned, I know exactly how you feel and don't ever for a moment think you suffer alone. I was a basket-case a few months ago and I too, was afraid of anything and everything. I was afraid of being around knives because I thought I would hurt myself or someone. I was afraid of being alone. I was afraid I was going crazy or mad. But you know what? I am 95% percent better now!!! With the help of cognitive-behavioral therapy and an anti-depressant and xanax (as needed but haven't taken it since June!). What we need to work on is changing your thinking patterns. Find yourself creating the worst possible scenario in your head? Always concerned with a negative image or thought? You can change it. It will take some time but it will work. I would purchase the book, "From Panic to Power" by Lucinda Bassett. It's a great read. I woud also seek a cognitive-behavioral therapist. If you need anything send a PM my way.

Hang in there!