A rather distinct problem...

[Jimbo73]

I'll get right to the point. I'm 17. For the last few years I've been doing my absolute best to diagnose / be meticulous about every aspect of what I experience and when I experience it. Triggers, patterns, the whole 17 yards. I actually made a few very sophisticated diagrams pinpointing a solution..however I've discovered things since that have changed those drastically.

I seem to have different personalities. They don't differ radically ( which rules out bipolar, I think ), but I just seem to act different around different people. Energy levels, intelligence levels, quick to joke levels, subtle levels, and manner levels all seem to adjust slightly to the person I'm talking to. There really is no pattern. It has nothing to do with what I think they expect, or what I think they want to hear. It has nothing to do with how I look when I talk to them. And sometimes I act different around those people in the same exact situations..like I said there's no identifiable pattern. I know this is true and not a misinterpretation of myself because of how they react as well only further backing my theory of acting different around them on a different day. I used to think it was all about being self conscious as I was overweight, but once I lost it all the problem remained. Maybe this was the catalyst...I'm not sure. I don't think it's a social phobia, because when I'm alone I still don't feel anxiety free.

The biggest advancement in this study of mine, if you will, is alcohol. When I drank for the first time, being drunk was fun, whatever, I'm sure you all know about that. Two days later I experienced the most amazing feeling of my life. I was myself. I was my personality. Everything flowed, I could converse like a normal god damned human being and I wasn't worried about every syllable of every word I said. I was the man. Neutral, hilarious, smart, witty, a personality to kill. This feeling lasted about 4 days.

Now I obviously craved that feeling afterward, not to mention wanted to further research how alcohol impacted me, and drink near every weekend. The pattern is usually

Day #1 - not myself ( normal )
Day #2 - drunk
Day #3 - not myself ( normal )
Day #4 - not myself ( normal )
Day #5 - myself ( what i want to be considered normal )
Day #6 - myself ( what i want to be considered normal )
Day #7 - myself ( what i want to be considered normal )
Day #8 - myself ( what i want to be considered normal )
Day #9 - not myself ( normal )

So basically once I get drunk it takes a couple days for the after effect to kick in of being anxiety free. So I'm thinking maybe there's some kind of ingredient that takes a few days to be absorbed by your body ? Since this anxiety free state is so consistent I think it really as being anxiety free rather than my personality adjusting...not to mention i never worry like I do ALWAYS when my personality changes, and everything just flows, and I have the time of my life. This means that something coming from alcohol isn't just making me into a person I'm not, but rather, correcting some anatomical mistake. Did someone say steak D:

I've tried fluxotine, but it changed absolutely nothing. I'll probably be adding to this frequently, all help is enormously appreciated and I would be willing to actually send a fair amount of money to someone if they were insightful / pointed me to a solution. This was just a short blurp of a fraction of all of my thoughts on the matter. Thank you vvv much if you read this far. Solving this would make my life more lucrative and luxurious by AT LEAST 10 fold. Thank you again :)

[Evilbob333]

Thats an interesting theory...and you seem to have dedicated a lot of thought to this.
What you say regarding being very different around different people is absolutely true of everybody, we all do it and for 90% of the time we do it without noticing. Many things can change depending on the situation we're in, from the language we use, how quickly we respond, our body language, whether we make that joke or not, even our accents can become 'posher' or more colloquial. It's very easy for anxiety sufferers to look for rhyme and reason in these situations when there is absolutely none...thats just the way people are/
As for the alcohol theory...its very interesting, not least because the majority of people tend to feel more anxious following a drinking session. Have you thought about the fact that this may be a psychosomatic thing, i.e. you expect it to happen, so it inevitably does? If it works for you than kudos, but please dont hang all of your hopes on getting drunk...there's only one way that can lead!

[xxfairybluxx]

Like Evilbob said, we do alter how we interact with people differenty dependent on who they are, the situation we're in and how we're feeling. We automatically define the social situation before we engage with it, but the brain does this subconsciously without thinking about it, and then we act appropriately. Maybe your thinking too much about a function that is natural and automatic :)
Its also natural to feel different around different people. This depends on how well you know them, how well you get along, your relationship etc. As for quick to joke levels etc, this is also heavily dependent on many factors. Sometimes being quick to joke is not the appropriate way to behave around certain people or in certain situations, so you alter your behaviour accordingly, even if its not the 'real you.'

Also, has your behaviour caused any negative comments from the people your with? I bet they don't notice any difference in you even though your worrying and obsessing about how you acting.

Finally, as for feeling anxious around people and when being alone, I bet its because your always thinking about this and trying to work out why you don't feel right. You can't work out the cause of anxiety because often, there isn't one. I think its just the result of over thinking and worrying about things that we don't have an answer to.

[Jimbo73]

Thats an interesting theory...and you seem to have dedicated a lot of thought to this.
What you say regarding being very different around different people is absolutely true of everybody, we all do it and for 90% of the time we do it without noticing. Many things can change depending on the situation we're in, from the language we use, how quickly we respond, our body language, whether we make that joke or not, even our accents can become 'posher' or more colloquial. It's very easy for anxiety sufferers to look for rhyme and reason in these situations when there is absolutely none...thats just the way people are/
As for the alcohol theory...its very interesting, not least because the majority of people tend to feel more anxious following a drinking session. Have you thought about the fact that this may be a psychosomatic thing, i.e. you expect it to happen, so it inevitably does? If it works for you than kudos, but please dont hang all of your hopes on getting drunk...there's only one way that can lead!

Thank you both.

I realize we all act different around different people and if it weren't for the alcohol having the effect it does I would leave it at that. But I now know the grass IS greener on the other side...because I've been there but I need to permanently move myself there =p. I don't think it's psychosomatic since I'm not very susceptible to that type of thing. I actually had no idea what happened was going to happen and I know I don't think like that as I couldn't notice a difference when I started taking meds that I was told to take specifically for anxiety.

Also, another thing to eliminate is the feeling I get when I'm drunk translating to easing my aforementioned anxiety. Basically, experiencing the feeling, realizing the situation isn't so bad, and so I don't feel like I have to worry. This is eliminated by the fact that it takes about a day to actually kick in, whereas if I were acting on how I felt when I was drunk it would be from that moment until the demise of the feeling.

Thank you for the help, I think figuring out why the alcohol helps and why it takes about a day to happen is the key here though.

[Jimbo73]

Anyone else ?