Anxiety and friends

[breezy04]

I have been having a lot of trouble with friends lately. My anxiety has gotten to extreme levels lately and it leaves me feeling that I need constant reassurance from everyone because I'm so afraid people hate me or think I'm weird. My anxiety is often coupled with these low self esteem issues and needs of approval but when I am not overly anxious I am a quite confident person. I find myself constantly apologizing and trying to explain my situation to everyone's annoyance. One of my friends, who I was hoping to get to know more and possibly move to a more romantic relationship told me that I am just looking for pity. That is certainly not my intention. I just want them to understand so they dont judge me but it would seem they are doing that anyway. I just want to know that there is someone out there who might understand. I feel like so much less of a person

[Rick(amateur)]

Hi breezy04,

Anxiety is complicated and those who have never experienced it cannot understand it. It's actually part of life since everyone experience it. The main difference is the degree people experience it. For instance, students taking exams feel anxious and some will panic more than others.

I'm just being honest here but, if your friends aren't very understanding and judge you, I recommend finding new ones. In our society, too many people want to fit in and have a group they can hang out with. As a result, those people change to become someone else. This is one of the worst ways to live your life since you aren't being yourself. Essentially, you are putting up an act and one might wonder how long you can put up that act. I know being lonely is never fun. I've been a loner for most of my life being an introvert and just never found a group I felt I really belong in.

My best advice is for you to pursue your hobbies. Do things you enjoy and, as you do that, you'll find people who are in common with you. You'll eventually find people who you want to befriends then. As for anxiety, I find that generally these online forums are usually your best bet for sharing until you have more confidence. People tend to connect anxiety with the person being crazy which is very false. It usually take time to find where you belong, where you want to go and who you want to spend the rest of your life with.

Sorry if I sound a bit harsh but the world is a harsh place. Better learn now and make the necessary changes for a better life than keep up the act and be hurt more later in life.

[breezy04]

I dont think it sounded harsh at all. Thank you for your reply. I am so sick of trying to force people to understand and accept me