How do you start truly LIVING your life?

[bluepaintcan123]

I can't enjoy my life because everyday is the same, and I can't change many things because I am too young. I have to finish school and go to college and get a job, but then I would just get stuck in that job and never get to explore everything I've wanted to.
To me there is nothing worth doing (or at least, not much to do.) Some of the only things you can do is go out and buy things, go out and buy junk food, stare at the TV, or just walk around. I've never come across anyone interesting and it feels like everyone just acts the same.

How can I live my life if the most wants can't be fulfilled? What is the point of staying here if there isn't anything worth staying for? (I don't mean this in a suicidal way, btw. I just mean why don't I just move to Europe or something.)

[gypsylee]

Some of the only things you can do is go out and buy things, go out and buy junk food, stare at the TV, or just walk around. I've never come across anyone interesting and it feels like everyone just acts the same.

Ha! I love this :)

If I were you I'd read some books or listen to some stuff by counterculture writers like Alan Watts. Or even watch some movies.. Have you seen Fight Club? That's one of my all-time favourites and I read the book recently, but actually prefer the movie (though maybe I'm biased by Brad Pitt's hotness :rolleyes: )

Trainspotting is another classic (though I don't recommend heroin addiction as a life choice). The sequel has just come out and I haven't seen it yet :o

https://youtu.be/WKefeRQXF-o

[Ponder]

I hear what your saying. I had no choice when I was dragged from one school, from one house and from one parent to the next. I often think the world is grey. The only way I can color things up is to change where it is that I choose to look. I might not have had many choices and still to this day I do not; but fact is we always have one. How we react. Once you come to see that most of the choices we are presented with, are not actually choices that we need let alone want; the road becomes a lot easier as in we learn to be more accepting of what is rather than what's not.

If you can't fit into the box your trying to squeeze into, then become more flexible until you land in another box. If you can't find you way on the current path your traveling, then bide your time until you hit a fork in the road.

As for banging your head against a brick wall - that's definitely a choice within your control. As harsh as it sounds, there is a silver lining in that. More so in knowing - that despite when it seems the world is against us and we have no choices ... realizing the power of choosing how we react is a most rewarding and liberating act. It costs us nothing and yet we have everything to gain. "NO! I'm not going to self sabotage just because I can't get what I want, I'm going to change what it is that I want!" Once we come to see the power of control that we really have by not giving in to the expectations of illusive wants, then we come to a fork in the road before we know it. Then that Grey World as we once knew it ... it starts to color up!

We may not always see in color vision, but once we understand there's always silver linings in every dark cloud, it becomes much easier to no longer bang our heads against the wall and bide our time till that fork in the road shows up time after time.

All the movies gypsy listed require a lot of grey in order for their colors to be felt.

I've just now run out of money myself ... So now it's time to start using more of my mind and or making use of what I already GOT!

I say if we can't change where we're looking, then we should change the way we think. It's what I do when walking / running in the same spot over and over again. It's what I did when locked in a small prison cell - although I don't recommend taking that course in order to learn.

Best of luck choosing your route.

[Rick(amateur)]

I believe that you can only start living when you have found your purpose in life. I honestly believe everyone have a purpose and it's up to them to discover it. Discovering can be tough since there are people like your family members who could easily put an end to it. Everyone says do something you love for a living but they then criticize you for being unrealistic by pursuing your dreams. Often times, I think people can only find their purpose alone in life and the journey to making their dream come true will bring them towards like-minded people.

When you state you are too young, I'm assuming you have a decent amount of free time. Find out what you love and develop those hobbies of yours. Hobbies can give you skills you need to succeed later in life and you won't get bored since it's not a hobby if you don't enjoy it. In addition, I agree with gypsylee in that you should explore various things in life. The knowledge you gain will stay with you and every bit will get you closer to unlocking the answer so many sought after but fail to acquire. Why is it so hard? That's how life works.

There is sadly no simple answer to this but finding it will be worth all the time, effort and sacrifices you make. Just keep looking and never give up. The answer is there but there are no shortcuts to it.

[Ponder]

Respectfully ... If I may be so bold - my experience has lead me to be cautious when it comes to taking in the concept of ... "Finding one's purpose in life." Finding a purpose has it's place from lighting up the kindling to keeping our fires burning, (motivationally speaking) but can quickly overcome us in a wave of despair if we rely on such beliefs in order to live. It's a concept that's become like a commodity that's oversold in society more for the sake of keeping people stuck in recovery or moreover spinning the wheel.

This is not my opinion - I don't fancy those either. It's just how I have come to feel. Opinions to me are no more than toilet paper that do little to leave one's BUT clean. Perhaps better said "... use to wipe another's"

Finding a purpose and then relying on it to live is like a "double bind" The seeking (looking) conflicts with the solution (finding) purpose. For example: "YAY! I just found something I am interested in. I know what I want to do now!" Due to emotional investment placed upon this new found purpose, one's outlook quickly starts to decline as like all else on this earth this new found thing starts to grow old. Additionally let's consider how quickly the concept of finding - "one's purpose for living" - is more a tool for powering a system designed for anything; but the essence of living.

On the latter - I refer to Gyspy's above recommendation:


"... If I were you I'd read some books or listen to some stuff by counterculture writers like Alan Watts."

In the mean time I will simplify by saying that whilst I caution how one adopts the ideal of - being in need - to having a purpose in order to live. (a bind that comes from being in need) Of course it helps to understand the difference between existing and living. Example: Endlessly catching a tram, going to work, coming home, paying bills, so that I can spend some money is not living for me. Perhaps spending money may feel like living - BUT - at what cost? It's way too short lived and typically ends up costing others. On the other hand, by no longer catching the tram, going to work, coming home and paying the bills - YIKES ... OH NO ... What do we have here? WTF!!! Wtf am I going to do? Arrrrr see no one really wants to point this little conundrum out of our wonderfully well driven society ... except to start talking in terms of "contributions" then onto finding one's purpose.

HMMM how's this ... Our purpose in life is NOT to live as we do, but more to accept we need no purpose in order to exist [thus eliminating created need] - BUT moreover ... to appreciate what it means to exist through the realization of just how little we require in order to not just live, but in fact - to thrive.

lol - Change Purpose to finding motivation. There are too many ideals, and systems of beliefs ready to give you a purpose which only feed the infernal machine.

Motivation = having more than one option (if you must ... more than one purpose) - understand nothing lasts. I go from playing chess to guitar, to photography, to stargazing, to writing, to running, to walking, to gaming, to vlogging, to people watching, sun gazing, meditating, playing, driving, flying, sleeping, dreaming, exercising, eating, psychotherapy, psychosocialization, bird watching, house watching, day dreaming, drawing, painting, all the way down to happily fidgeting and dribbling; staring into space.

Most of those things require next to no money at all. Flying does - but then I do more flying in my sleep than anything else. We live in a world that makes things at a rate that's pretty much fading the green in places like Africa and South America. If your into "things" there is plenty of cheap shit out there than can keep even the most mute of us entertained - BUT you'll never find purpose without looking within.

So there you have it ... that's my caution on adopting this oversold notion, that in order to color one's world - one "must" have a purpose in order to live. It's not as straight forward as that and actually comes off about as helpful as someone looking into the eye's of someone having an anxiety attack telling them to "simply' Calm Down.

The trick to sustaining motivation in an unsustainable world is to rely more on one's own imagination than wasting energy by looking for a purpose where none exists.

We are our own powerhouses. look within and go grab some sun. You don't need any of that other BS.

But like I say ... these are but mere words more used to wipe my own BUT than to be as effective for yours. For that - I recommend acting like a bear in the woods. Eventually the penny will drop. :)


http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x30/davekyn/oroboros_zps5jl9ywwr.gif
OK Editing done ... should be clean enough to read now. (Touch wood!)




Entirely my hang up Rick (amateur) - Just sharing my toilet paper is all.
Is more a case of how cliches confuse and my inexplicable need to understand - that being a bind in itself.

[gypsylee]

I've listened to hours and hours of Alan Watts and read/listened to a ton of similar stuff (basically, Western interpretations of Eastern philosophy/religion). The core of it is mindful awareness - being able to live in the moment and eliminate "psychological time" as Eckhart Tolle calls it (in fact, I recommend his book "A New Earth" as a good starting point). I STILL get pretty bad anxiety and depression but I've come a long way I think :)

Anyway, here's a bit of Alan Watts. These videos are snippets of lectures he did, which are all available on YouTube but I really like this little video:

https://youtu.be/iRRr3EvX_fo

Here is the book I recommend: http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/76334.A_New_Earth