I Hate These Attacks

[james007]

Hi

I am 31 y/o male.

I would guess that I have had anxiety all my life. Like others on this forum I tend to stay away from crowds and generally do not feel comfortable with big groups of people. All in all I would say that I struggle with stress induced anxiety and mild depression. All my life I have engaged in some form of physical fitness which I believe has helped allot in regards to my anxiety. Nevertheless I am really getting worn down by the effects as I get older.

For awhile, due to the anxiety causing me to not be able to focus, I thought that I had ADHD. I went to a psychiatrist and she prescribed some adderall. Now get this, initially the adderall worked great. I could best describe it as steroids for the brain. I was so focused on what I had to accomplish that I did not care about what others thought or crowds of people. Adderall allowed me to stop focusing on the negative thoughts racing through my head and focus on the task at hand. I would say though that the drug can have a tendency to make you too focused. However, if it was on my to do list then I got it done. But after allot of weight loss, the weird body odor the drug caused, and also the fact that my body would adapt to the dosage I found the drug to be a hindrance.

So recently I was at work, and had to get something done ASAP. The stress of the situation coupled with a couple cups of coffee set off a chain reaction that caused an immense amount of anxiety which then led to mild depression. I actually took a day of from work to cope. I have not read all the ways to cope with anxiety and panic attacks on this forum yet but I have to find a way to deal with these symptoms. I mean...,I am a chronic online shopper because I do not want my anxiety to flare up when I am at the store. I am sure that I will find some helpful information on this forum.

[northstar]

welcome james! :)

you'll find lots and lots of ways to help yourself on this thread here: http://www.anxietyforum.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=4087

i hope that helps! might help a bit to cut out the caffeine, you might find that rather than caffeine making anxiety worse it can acually simply be the root of the anxiety and by cutting out excess of it you'll feel tons better :) i hope you find what you're looking for here.

[james007]

Thanks. I usually do not drink caffeine. I have just noticed that caffeine triggers my anxiety now more than when I was younger. However I still have anxiety which is then followed by small bouts of depression. It just seems like there is an extensive social commentary always running through my head.

[MattJ85]

Hiya mate, reading your post I can't help but relate to what you've said. I've suffered with anxiety and social anxiety most of my life. I never used to be able to look people in the eye, talk to people face to face. I used to make my friends buy things for me at the counter because my anxiety would be soo bad it would make me go bright red and start sweating.
I suffered with this for years until I managed to get a sympathectomy which stopped the nerves telling my face to go red. I can understand that anxiety, or more you behavior that is a direct result of the anxiety can be debilitating and lowers self-esteem. I decided to conquer my biggest fear (post op) and get a job on a cocktail bar. Knowing that I couldn't go red in the face gave me soo much more confidence to go out there and live my life. It took months to reduce the anxiety to very little, and all by gaining confidence.
After a year of working there I had an anxiety attack, out of the blue and saw my face go red in the mirror. I realised that the op never actually worked and that I had completely changed my thought process by believing that I couldn't go red in the face.
I also had mild ADHD as a child and I've suffered with mild depression for years. As for the anxiety, sometimes you can't stop it; i've learnt this. But you can stop the change in behavior it causes. It causes a lot of learnt behaviors that can be un-learnt.

As for the coffee, it's probably not doing you much good at all. Try do things you enjoy to take your mind off the anxiety. It takes lots of time to change your thought process but it is possible mate. Cognitive behavioral therapy is great for this. It's just a suggestion, I hope some of the information I've posted is relevant, otherwise I've just spent 15 mins boring you to death!!! lol keep your chin up mate!!

Matt