Crying and feeling sad for no reason

[Boo Bass]

Hi there

I'm posting this on behalf of a female friend age 22 who cries all the time. Is this depression?

Any answers or self help methods would be appreciated. She says she has had this condition since childhood.

[Boo Bass]

Hi

I should have added that the person in question already registered here but was too ashamed to post herself. I don't know her well, only from a language exchange app.

BB

[martin05]

Likely to be depression or anxiety, yes. Hard to say which; it would depend on other symptoms. Both can make you weepy.

Personally, I'd talk to my doctor about trying an anti-depressant. Crying regularly for decades isn't a fun way to live life. I was fairly similar to your friend. The citalopram I take has banished a lot of the blues I once felt.

Of course, if any traumas or other issues stand out, it'd be helpful to fix those. Parental neglect, emotional abuse, repressed emotions can all stop a person from feeling at peace.

Self-help treatments that are likely to help include finding a purpose, exercising, and journalling. Those three things should help take care of the emotional, physical and mental needs of the person you're posting on behalf of. Of course that shouldn't be in place of professional therapy, but in addition to it.

Best of luck to her. :)

[Ponder]

Yea ... It can be a full time job keeping above board.

[Boo Bass]

Hi Martin

Thanks for your help.

Yes, she admitted she suffered sexual abuse as a child. Unfortunately she's from a poor country where therapy is only available to the rich minority. I'll mention the strategies you recommended.

BB

[gypsylee]

Hi BB,

That's good of you to help your friend and sad that she's unable to get therapy. I'm no professional but it might be good for her to have someone (female) who she can talk to one-to-one. I'm happy to give you (and her) my email address or add her on Facebook, or whatever? I'm 43 and was diagnosed with Major Depression over 20 years ago.

Let me know :)

Gypsy x

[Boo Bass]

Hi gypsy

That's lovely of you to offer to help her. I'll mention it to her now.

BB

[Boo Bass]

Hi gypsy

She's really interested in writing to you! She's from Indonesia. No need to tell you that in these poor Muslim countries, women will always blame themselves for anything which was not their own fault. anyway. please pm your e mail and I will pass on to her. She literally has nobody she can talk to about this.

BB

[gypsylee]

Done :)

I enjoy helping people because it helps me at the same time (I'm no saint, heh).

Yeah.. I'm eternally grateful to be living in a time and place where women are not treated like second-class citizens..

[martin05]

Hi Martin

Thanks for your help.

Yes, she admitted she suffered sexual abuse as a child. Unfortunately she's from a poor country where therapy is only available to the rich minority. I'll mention the strategies you recommended.

BB

Ah, that makes a lot of sense. Long story short, when traumas and conflicts are unresolved they knot up the psyche like a clog in a pipe. Life stops flowing smoothly for as long as they're there.

Usually the best course of action is to incorporate the trauma into a coherent life narrative. This helps the psyche make sense of the memory, and restores the sense of self that gets lost. It also helps encourage healthier beliefs and mindsets to develop. There are many ways to do this: therapy, conversation, writing, spirituality, acquisition of a purpose -- whatever works for the individual really.

I could share a book I have on my hard drive that has been helpful. I got it to try to move beyond past violent experiences. It sucks she can't get therapy. Maybe there will be some exercises in this book that can take her some of the way to feeling better.

Let me know if it's something she'd be open to exploring with either you or Gypsy. It can be very traumatic digging up the past, so I totally understand if this is a no-go.

[Boo Bass]

Hi Martin

Very nice of you to offer to share a book. I guess I should ask her first, her English is not that great.

BB

[Kirk]

I am not ashamed to admit that I have cried myself sometimes.

[Boo Bass]

Hi Martin

I sent you a PM but have no idea if it sent, probably notable