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willheal
04-03-2017, 06:24 PM
Lately my anxiety seems to get worse when I focus on work and I end up spending all day daydreaming and doing "productive procrastination" (doing everything except my #1 priority). It basically feels like I'm burnt out.

I'm sure this is common, what does everyone else do to get back on task?

JonB
04-04-2017, 01:40 AM
Procrastination stems from a fear... can you work out what it is you fear that keeps you stuck?

willheal
04-04-2017, 06:53 AM
It's a feeling of a resistance. If I sit for too long without making progress I start to feel a sense of resentment and as far as I can tell there's no surface level fear about doing it. The work is relatively easy and I've been doing it for 10 years. Usually on larger projects about a month in I'll feel a heavy resistance to continue. Any time I try and focus on it I forget what I'm doing or my mind drifts, the usual stuff. When I do get past the starting inertia it's all brain fog and amateur hour mistakes. If I pick up something else everything is crystal clear again.

I'm not ruling out there's some more complex subconscious thing going on. There is a lot of pressure to finish but even projects that don't have a deadline give me the same problem. For instance, I have another project that's gone by the wayside over a YEAR. It has about a week's worth of work and I'd get a significant amount of money to finish it but I'm actually trying to pay someone else to do it for me now to get it over with. I end up wasting time every time I try.

It's possible I've outgrown the work but I've had patterns of doing this since I was a kid. I can't finish anything that takes over a month to do. And I can't do the mental gymnastics required to have something feel "new" by splitting it into smaller chunks. It just feels the same.

JonB
04-04-2017, 07:48 AM
I've had similar issues. Struggling to finish things off.

There will be a reason for the resistance. Naturally there wouldn't be any more resistance to finishing the project than at other stages.

Ask yourself some questions... Why might I resist finishing this off? And be willing to be honest, even answering things that you wouldn't normally allow yourself to admit to.

How do you feel about getting things right? How do you feel if someone finds something wrong with what you've done after you've completed it? What processes start when you have finished it? Do other people then look over what you've done?

See if you can find a reason why you don't want to finish it... even a ridiculous one where at first you will say... there's no way I wouldn't finish it because of that!

willheal
04-04-2017, 03:07 PM
I can't be certain, but it's possible I associated this project with negative feelings I've had while working over time. I might be avoiding it because I was anxious while working on this thing a few times.

Today I stared at my screen for 4 straight hours and wasn't able to do the work. I'm lying in bed now trying to examine my feelings a little bit closer. When I think of work I feel so much apathy and so little motivation to finish. Normally I feel so relieved and accomplish to finish something that I start. It makes me feel powerful to make progress.

It's also possible that just the level of anxiety for me lately is too high and it is ruining my ability to concentrate in even the tiniest bit of stress.

I like to overuse this analogy, but focusing on trying to sleep never really makes you sleep. Instead you set yourself up with good sleep habits and so forth to encourage sleep to "pull" you in instead. Forcing it just kinda makes it worse. Along the same lines, I feel like I'm stuck in a circle right now where my job is in my sights and by looking at it as a problem I'm just causing more problems for myself.

Jull
04-04-2017, 09:32 PM
Me too! I was so determined on the day before, but when it's time to do my work, I just cant focus on it!

Kirk
04-05-2017, 05:45 AM
I personally work best under pressure. My anxiety is worse when I am not at work as when I am at work I feel like I am accomplishing something and am productive.

JonB
04-05-2017, 06:11 AM
willheal there will be a reason for why you feel like that. And I have learnt that invariably the reason is fear... it is the reason we get stuck in a place unable to move forward like we want to.

It can help to identify the fear and acknowledge it.

MainerMikeBrown
04-05-2017, 11:56 AM
Setting up a specific time to daydream can help.

Another idea is to write down on a piece of paper about what is bothering you and what your thoughts are regarding to what is concerning you and making you procrastinate.

willheal
04-06-2017, 07:48 AM
I might just need some time off. It's the equivalent to writer's block if that helps describe it better. My work is all cognitive, problem solving stuff on the computer.

Yesterday I took a real, actual break (didn't even try--just took the day off) and this morning I'm up and running again. Maybe I just needed a little reset.

That said, I don't usually have the luxury of "waiting to feel better" to keep rolling. I was hoping that there was maybe a more efficient trick to course correct but so far it just seems like my only option is "hey just stop and relax for a while".

While I can't ever really be certain, I don't think fear was a direct factor in this case. It's likely that my mind was overworked, fatigued, and I was pushing it while it was simply trying to recover.

I think the daydreaming and journaling thing is great. I'm wondering if there's any more ideas for trying to stay on task when rest is just not an option.