Hoping Someone Can Help Today... Relapse.

[PennysMom]

I had previously posted about an anxiety attack I had in February regarding a move out of state. I had received a job offer, and when it came down to making that decision, I freaked- I cried, shook, even threw up. I had anxiety even after I turned the job down - for months. My poor fiancé- he had not idea what was going on, and at the time neither did I, so neither of us handled it the best.

I was having a really good week last week- then all of a sudden my brain started moving "What if he isn't the right one?" "What if I'm making a mistake?" "Should I just break up with him now? That scares me too! Was I ever really happy? Will I be happy again?

In the past I was abandoned by an ex in another state away from my family, but I'm feeling like this doubt must mean something right? IT MUST... It can't just be anxiety... Can it?

[JonB]

Fear destroys rational thinking. I had an episode the other week where it sent my head into a real spin. Everything gets out of proportion. Reality gets distorted.

Does it feel like fear? Or does it feel like rational thought?

[PennysMom]

It definitely doesn't feel like rational thought - it feels like my fears are real and I just only notice them when I"m having anxiety...

[JonB]

Right. And you shouldn't trust your thoughts when you know that there is fear there.

Fear always makes us look after self. It's designed to preserve us. And it is very good at doing that. It will start to look to put distance from us and people when we feel there is a threat of something bad happening that could involve them being the cause of it.

The problem is that our fears aren't always life threatening ones. I call these false fears.

But false fears can be changed.

I have been using a technique for the last couple of years that dissolves false fears. It works by re-calibrating our fear gauge related to the issue that is causing the problem. It gets the mind and body to realise... 'Ah, nothing bad is going to happen, I am safe really!'

If you were willing to give it a try then I'll share it with you. I wouldn't recommend using it straight away on this particular anxiety you have but something smaller initially, just so you can build confidence with it.

[willheal]

"It can't just be anxiety... Can it?"

I'm not even exaggerating, I screamed this at ER staff 4 days ago and made a huge scene. Nothing was wrong with me. My heart was fast because I was scared. Anxiety can cut right through you some days. If your inner narrative keeps switching to being alright to something absolutely dire it's anxiety. Sometimes it can be a sign that something is actually wrong, but for people with this disorder it's a lot of noise and no signal. I have to do what JonB says and recalibrate. But it's hard because it's so spontaneous at times, and sometimes it's hard to feel like things are OK. Try to think it through the best you can. Wish you well!

[JonB]

We can start to be afraid of the afraidness... anxious about the anxiety... fearful of the fear... it is not just the anxiety itself but the anxiety about the anxiety!

I found one way that helps is to actually accept that we are afraid, rather than resisting... what we resists, persists... as they say.